2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There is a lot of talk that a person wants to be happy. People passionately declare that they have the right to be happy. They say that it is happiness that they want. However, in practice, there are quite a few truly happy people. How so? Everyone wants happiness, and different things, but unhappy?
One of the reasons for this state of affairs is ordinary fear, but it is very difficult for people to admit it even to themselves. Imagine that you have everything you want (material aspect: money, cars, airplanes, business), you have a great relationship, there is 100% mutual understanding, your health really pleases you, and everything in life works out. How will you feel at the same time?
At first glance, it seems that a person should feel great, but this is not always the case. At consultations, when we work through such a situation with clients, then often people begin to have doubts and uncertainty. Which are easily transformed into fear. Fear of your own happiness.
In most cases, we have beliefs inside that play the role of prohibitions on our own happiness. Moreover, these beliefs are shared by those people who make up our immediate environment. In other words, close people fully support these prohibitions.
The material aspect is the belief that it is impossible to earn big money by honest work. Only to steal or get it in another dubious way. Cool excuse for your own unwillingness to work, take risks and try new things. Such is the noble excuse for poverty. And if a person could really earn himself, get a lot of money, and honestly, then, accordingly, he no longer adheres to such a conviction. And that means no longer from this sandbox. And this means condemnation, suspicion and loss of confidence. But it’s just very scary to become a stranger among our own.
When about a relationship there are only two beliefs "All men are goats" and "All women are fools." A person suddenly builds a relationship with a person whom he does not use, respects, sees in him a person, and his partner or partner, with all the rights to freedom of choice. At the same time, he does not at all consider him a goat or a fool.
That is natural at first he gets envy and disbelief. Later, these "bright feelings" cease to be treated as a traitor. After all, more than one generation has grown up on those templates, about goats and fools. And he (the man) could do it differently, this is rarely forgiven.
It's not worth talking about health at all. After all, even if a person refuses alcohol, he is already considered to be almost sick and unreliable. And if at the same time he also begins to choose physical activity and the food that is useful for him, and not what is accepted, and even looks great, then, naturally, this one causes not just envy, but also hatred. Who do we hate the most? Correctly enemies. A person becomes an enemy to his environment. And it's really scary.
Just imagine that you have become a happy person, but at the same time, in the eyes of your loved ones, you have become an enemy. Such happiness, as one client said, is not needed for nothing. That is, our happiness depends on how much we will be allowed to receive the beliefs of our environment.
Honesty with oneself helps a lot here. Especially in those moments when you have to admit that close people are no longer so close. And they don't really want the best for you. By the way, most of all, the relatives of clients do not like psychologists and psychotherapists. Since when a person changes in the course of work, it is already very difficult to manage him, and it is impossible to manipulate, as before.
Happiness is always very personal and, of course, everyone has their own. Therefore, it is more useful to honestly admit to yourself that you want to become happy or correspond to the beliefs and assessments of other people. When it comes to the understanding that happiness does not need proof, a person begins to experience really great pleasure in his life, without feeling guilty.
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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