2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Today we talked with my mother about love. We started out about self-love and ended up with either love or not. In my opinion and feeling, love is in each of us, only now we show it or hide it, it depends on us. Of course, if for most of our life we are accustomed to keeping it behind a thousand locks and ourselves are afraid to touch it, then in an instant we will not pull it out of the distant corners of our emotional space.
Why do we hide our feelings of love?
Because as a child, it was dangerous for us to show it with our parents
Why did the parents behave this way?
Due to lack of knowledge about parenting
Due to personal experience with my own parents
Because of the living conditions
Parents could perform a more applied care function: the availability of food, clothing, living conditions, education. At the same time, no importance was attached to such aspects as emotional warmth; Attention; proximity; acceptance of any emotions of the child; sympathy when he feels bad, difficult and painful. Under these conditions, the little man ran into misunderstanding, and each time he learned to hide his inner experiences, especially the most reverent ones.
Love within us is a quiet glow. Sometimes it is brighter, sometimes less. However, this light never goes out. It applies to everyone and everything. If you feel the warmth of love, then it will be directed towards yourself and others. Our beloved, children, parents, friends can only intensify this glow, not ignite.
Have you noticed when you talk to some person filled with love, it becomes warm inside? This is the contact of his spark with ours. Sometimes the warmth is so strong that it penetrates even a thousand locks and reaches the source of love of the one who hid it there in distant childhood. This also happens. True, it can scare)))) because if a person is used to hiding his love, he will be scared that someone touched her. Psychologically, he will find himself in a situation in the past where it was unsafe to show the glow of love.
Why don't we love ourselves? Why do we think that our feeling of love depends on another?
The reason is the same as above - childhood. We were not shown the experience of unconditional love. More often than not, we only felt loved when we did something good. Thus, we divided ourselves into good and bad, not allowing us to feel the glow of love towards ourselves in moments of mistakes, bad behavior, manifestations of negative emotions, etc. In childhood (at the earliest) we loved ourselves no matter what. With growing up, we learned to love only for something good. As a result, this causes dependence on the assessments of people who are important to us. Therefore, we stopped feeling the constant glow of self-love and rewarded ourselves with it only when we were praised. Thus, the dependence of our feelings of love on the other was formed.
Your feeling of love is yours. It is always with you. It does not depend on others. Just allow him to be in relation to you, regardless of whether you feel good or bad today. It is enough to consciously touch it once and you do not want to hide it. And you will not be afraid to show it to others. If your interlocutor expresses disdain for your glow, this only indicates that he himself is very much hiding it.
Shine your love. For myself.
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