2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A slap, a bite, a stinging remark, a stupid joke, a humiliating, mocking attitude and outright meanness - people are ready to ignore all this
“Put your right cheek if you were hit on the left”, bend down, don't notice, convince yourself that nothing happened, it’s such a trifle, it was funny to everyone, they laughed and went on, why focus attention. "It doesn't hurt me - don't pay attention."
Even the insult with its sharp needle will not touch the heart, even the treacherous lump does not rise to the throat, and the hot wave of tears will not cloud the eyes. "There is nothing. Everything is fine."
How normal is it? Have you just been trampled into the mud, danced on your crushed body, spat, and made a bunch of them from above? Is everything okay?
Fine…
At some point, a person amputated his feelings, which are responsible for pain, resentment, anger, anger … He separated them from himself. "I am, but there are no feelings." And here she is, a rag doll stuffed with cotton wool inside - “I don’t want to hit”. It doesn't hurt. Everything is fine. Always an embroidered smile on the face.
And if pain is still available? If the insult is felt, even how it is felt - it captures, strangles, reduces with a spasm in the throat, treacherously splashes from the eyes … but is swallowed …
“Why is he with me like this? How could he.. I love him.
"How could she, and her friend is also called …"
"Lord, how unhappy I am.."
Healthy aggression, the one that should straighten up with a spring and give the offender in the eye, turns inward, turns into insult and self-pity
Or becomes an instrument of self-flagellation.
Why not to him? Not to the offender?
Well, first of all, it's scary. There are a lot of things that can be scary - both for your physical condition, and for financial well-being, and for all your, after all, a well-coordinated life. But above all, for the fact that he leaves. Or a friend, the best … And I will be left alone …
Have you been abandoned by your friends? You were alone in the long, chipped school corridor, realizing that you would have to go home alone? And tomorrow to stand alone at recess, and everyone will whisper in small groups, and not approach anyone? Then you remember this feeling.
Or maybe you remember that moment when your mother just held her hand, looked tenderly into her eyes, kissed her cheeks and stroked the head, and you were distracted for a second, because the teacher lured you with some kind of toy, and bam - there was no mother! Where? Where to? What for? Where did she go? And now I am alone, completely alone among a heap of unfamiliar and alien children to me, and just now the affectionate teacher turned her back and only the hem of her dress and somewhere high-high head and hands. And I'm all alone. There is not anyone. Or moments of infancy, when the most important and necessary person in the world suddenly disappeared. And an eerie, aching feeling of complete loneliness filled everything around.
In childhood and adolescence, this fear makes us friends with those who definitely cannot be called friends.
And in adulthood - to firmly hold the hand of those who sprinkle, bite, beat, do meanness, whom you cannot rely on, consider your friend or equal partner in life, who does much more evil than good, but ensures one thing - bondage.
It guarantees the illusion of “non-loneliness”. No, but attention; no, but touching; some no, but the fullness of life. Non-loneliness.
a person is ready to pay with himself, with the resources of his personality, with his world and his body, so long as this important object does not disappear.
Any presentation of their interests and boundaries can jeopardize our “friendship” and “love”, so I’d better not notice or, offended, keep silent. There are mentally immature individuals who, in principle, are not ready to discuss anything. For them, “friendship” and “love” is a complete merger, where “you agree with me in everything, and if not, then nothing at all”. "If you don't like something, let's part."
Friendship, love, relationships are the interaction of two worlds, different in nature. A meeting takes place on the border of these worlds. Opening slightly towards another person, we change, allowing another to become a part of our world. But there are internal boundaries, the violation of which causes irreparable damage to the individual. And then the price to be there is too high.
Recommended:
What Your Pain Smells Like Or Two Wonderful Ways To Get Rid Of Pain In 5 Minutes
Sometimes inexplicable miracles happen in psychological practice. I bring to your attention one of the psychological miracles. Professor Nikolai Dmitrivich Linde in his practical work developed the method of an imaginary smell in the 90s of the last century.
The World Is Inside And The World Is Outside. To Understand What Is Happening To You, Look At The People Around
Author: Irina Dybova Source: Help from the hall. The people who surround you, and the stories associated with them, will help you figure out what is happening to you personally, in your own world, in your soul. *** A new teacher came to her daughter's class.
Daffodils In And Around Us
There is a lot of information in the Internet annals about the narcissistic character. It has been described as toxic and dangerous to those unfortunate enough to be intimate with the narcissist. He is dangerous, first of all, for the self-esteem of a counterpart, since the narcissist uses his psyche as a container for his own imperfection.
Disruptive Behavior Around You
Most likely, each person at least once in his life asked himself the question: "How to react to the destructive behavior of another and how to live with such destructive behavior?" I present in this article my observations and reasoning on this topic.
Who Will We See Around Us If We Recognize The Word "schizoid"
If you want to understand what is going on in the souls of other people and what to expect from them, it is sometimes useful to arm yourself with this or that typology of characters. This "intellectual optics" can help you, as in infrared radiation, to see the ghosts that inhabit other people's souls.
