2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A mother can help her child on the path of growing up and make him feel "that life is a creative and exciting adventure" (Joyce McDougal), but this becomes possible only if one important condition is met: she is in her inner reality in a satisfying her love relationship with the child's father. A child (it is not so important whether it is a boy or a girl) develops and becomes more and more independent if there is a couple loving each other nearby: a wife-husband.
If the mother has no love relationship with her husband at all, or they are too conflicted (she feels disappointed in this relationship, unloved, humiliated, etc.), then for the child there is a very likely and serious threat to be used by her own mother narcissistically (then is, to confirm their own worth) and / or sexually.
In fact, having given birth to a child, many mothers refuse sex, because for them it is cheating on the child (no father thinks so). Such a "child of the night" for the mother finds herself in the place of a sexual partner, she sleeps with him even at night (she has no one to go to). The child is forced to "shut up" the maternal unhappiness in the relationship with her husband (lover). He cannot resist maternal violence and seduction, because he is absolutely dependent and helpless. His protest is possible only through psychosomatic symptoms that arise as a result of extreme somatic overexcitement due to the mother's "suffocating love".
If a mother wants her child to grow and develop mentally, then he should not satisfy her sexual needs, but she should follow his desires. But this is only possible if there is a third party - the father of the child, in a relationship with whom she feels satisfied both sexually and narcissically. Such a relationship gives her the opportunity to remain a mother for her child, to love him with motherly love. For her, he is a "child of the day", and she gives her feminine love to the child's father, leaving for him for the night.
The presence and absence of a mother for the child is like the alternation of day and night. During the day she is with the child, and at night in bed - with her father. The rhythm of these presences - absences allows you to gradually form a triangular (Oedipus) personality structure (a third appears between the child and the mother - the father), which launches the life of the child's imagination (psyche). When mom is not with him, he can hallucinate (imagine her), dream about her, be jealous of her father. That is, his inner world is filled with ideas and images. The father (or his substitute) is extremely important here, since only he can end the relationship of fusion between mother and child. Of course, this does not happen overnight, but gradually.
French psychoanalyst Michel Feng introduced the concept of "mistress censorship" - the mother, having put the child to bed, again becomes a sexual woman for the sexual father, which serves to individualize the child. That is, the autonomy of the child depends on both the mother and the father, and it happens if the father wants to find a wife, and the mother wants to keep both the child and her husband.
Recommended:
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being A Mistress
I was looking for an illustration on the Internet for an article about a good mother. And I stumbled upon it. I found this infographic so curious that I would probably share my amazement with you . The first thing I noticed was the minimum requirements for mistresses.
How To Forget Your Mistress
Attention: for a psychologist, a relationship with a mistress is such an intimate relationship between a married man and an unmarried / married woman, where there is no birth of a common child. Where long-term stable meetings are a joint child, it is no longer a question of a mistress, but of the creation of a "
Why Does A Man Break Up With His Mistress? Understanding Why A Married Man Leaves His Mistress?
Why does a man break up with his mistress? Fighting for married men (including for their wallets), many mistresses try to intimidate their wives, create a panic mood in them, set them up to surrender, to voluntarily abandon their husbands. For this, myths are created about the alleged total superiority of mistresses over wives in age, sexuality, appearance, character, etc.
How To Survive The Departure Of A Mistress: A Letter From A Cheating Husband
How to survive the departure of a mistress: a letter from a cheating husband. Through social media and email, I receive daily reviews of my books and my consultations. Some of the letters turn out to be so interesting that (of course, with the consent of their authors) they should be read by very many men and women.
I Am A Mistress
The candle is slowly burning out, the fire has already reached the edge of the wick. A couple more minutes and it will go out. A couple of minutes of dim light, and then darkness. This is good, in a sense, because then I will stop seeing everything that is around.
