I Am A Mistress

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The candle is slowly burning out, the fire has already reached the edge of the wick. A couple more minutes and it will go out. A couple of minutes of dim light, and then darkness. This is good, in a sense, because then I will stop seeing everything that is around. What I created with such inspiration and the sweet taste of anticipation now sounds like disgust. Those yellow cherries in the corner of the table are especially hateful. You know, I don't like them. I never understood why to exchange for yellow when there is a juicy and bright red. And he loves. And I spent half a day today in search of yellow boring cherries, so that he was happy. A half-empty bottle of whiskey, the candle burns out … And I watch her with frozen eyes, swallowing whiskey with a taste of yellow cherry. I choke on nausea and continue, unable to stop. After all, this is my whole life. In disgust.

Overall, my life is good. She is filled with pleasure and fulfillment of desires. Many people envy me. I am beautiful, I live in a nice area in a spacious apartment, mine. My childhood was not overshadowed by scandals or resentments, everything went measuredly and calmly. I was always loved, the teachers set me up as an example. As I began to grow up, the boys began to notice my beauty. There was no need to try, because the girl's competition is not difficult to win. It was especially interesting when a couple of people in the class showed up. A couple of smiles, innocent touches - and here it is, victory. Very quickly I got tired of such games - simple actions, a clear outcome. Boring. It was necessary to set the tasks more difficult.

Yes, it's true, I am the one who is not tolerated in family companies, this is not news for a long time. Because every woman sees how her man looks at me. Am I to blame? This is how the world works, men love with their eyes. And it’s not my fault that you didn’t manage to create a better look than mine. Because every woman can look stunning, but this is work, and you are lazy. And you feel disgust for me so as not to notice your mistakes. You press closer to him, and he reluctantly hugs you by the shoulders and looks at me. Boring.

My mother has always been beautiful, feminine and well-groomed. She was an example for me, the one who knows how to make sure that not she clung to her man, but he to her. For dad, only she has always existed - the most beloved and most beautiful, the only woman on earth. Dad once said that when they found out that there would be a girl, he dreamed that I would be born a small copy of his beloved. I am not like her.

The fire began to blink and dance in silence. The last breaths of oxygen, the agony of the candle. He chose not me again. My daughter's temperature has risen, his wife is hysterical, the cargo was detained at the customs, the phone is bursting … Where in this bustle to squeeze me, again. Cherries, it doesn't matter. “I understand everything, darling. You are so smart. It's not scary. I love you . I have a normal temperature, I never get hysterical, I don’t call, I’m comfortable. Only sick of your vile cherries. Here's a more difficult task for me, whether I can push them all into myself.

It went out. It's dark in the apartment, even if you gouge out your eyes. I went to the psychotherapist again yesterday. You know, I specially chose a woman therapist. To see how she, the pro of human souls, will look at me with disgust. Will she like my stories. I chose a beautiful, family, young woman. Married, handsome husband, I looked on Facebook. She sat down in a chair, straightened herself beautifully, and said: "I am a mistress." And she smiled, looked at me directly as an equal and replied: “I see. Challenge accepted".

The moon is shining. Fills the room with its radiance. You know, at some point I realized that the candle, on the contrary, prevented me from seeing everything. After all, without her the room became bright and different, calm. Yesterday I discovered that my life is disgust. Not someone else's, these women and condemning views. My own. To the game that I started. The only thing is that life has turned into a game, an endless battlefield for women. It is only the prizes that change, the men who have become mine. But as soon as the prize is in my hands, I don't need it. Yesterday I told her terrible things, I confessed to something that I myself never knew. About what hurts inside. About why the love of all the men around was so important to me, to the detriment of my simple female happiness. Where it is not boring and not sick. After all, I could not become like my mother …

A week ago, I sat opposite the therapist, looked at her defiantly and bragged about how cool I wrap men around me, how professional I am in this, and how pleasant it is. But I could not disgust her in any way, I tried so hard. But he was not in her eyes. There was something else, unfamiliar to me. I talked, talked and tried to understand what was in them. And then she fell silent. Pain … Her eyes shone with my pain. And I cried. And yesterday I sat down opposite, and saw another woman, not at all like the one I had chosen on Facebook. And she said, "I am a mistress." She looked at me and said, “I understand. Tell me where it hurts."

The room became completely bright. The moon is full tonight, bright. I went to the kitchen, took the trash can, threw into it all the dishes that had been waiting for a touch for several hours. She was the last to take a plate of cherries, and she happily threw away the remains. I washed the dishes, looked at the kitchen - no trace of my nausea. But something is missing. She took out the juicy, red and favorite cherries from the refrigerator and placed them in the center of the table.

And in the morning the phone rang. He said that he would break away from work for me for 2 hours. “Listen to me, buy a big bear in the store, and go to your daughter, surprise her. Let him know that dad loves her very much. This is the most important thing you can do now. Thank you for everything, I felt good with you. You love your wife, you just need to remember why you are together. And now I want someone to love only me, it's simple and not boring at all."

There are cherries on the table, and the windows are in the illumination of the sun, light and understandable. It's a little scary, because I don't know how to do anything other than play with women. I don’t know what it’s like to see a man, not a prize. And love him. But I think it's worth a try. If only you choose not yellow cherries, but red ones, your own