2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I was looking for an illustration on the Internet for an article about a good mother. And I stumbled upon it. I found this infographic so curious that I would probably share my amazement with you
The first thing I noticed was the minimum requirements for mistresses. In terms of numbers, a mistress has almost half the obligations of a mother. And in terms of quality, it is unimaginably easier than that of a wife. Indeed, good looks are not a problem now. It is necessary to be very unlucky with genetics and a hairdresser, so that a modern girl has an appearance that is far from good. Perfect appearance is not required. You don't even need a pretty one. Just good. And it is true, most mistresses do not show off outstanding features of appearance. "Pleasant" is enough at any age for the appearance of any mistress. And sometimes this is not necessary if she is sexy.
According to one sexy friend of mine who worked in the entertainment industry, sex appeal is a skill that can be learned in two weeks. I believe her. I saw the results of her work. After two weeks of internship, her wards - discreet girls of ordinary "pleasant" appearance began to radiate a 360-degree sexual attraction. Dressed up!
Well, temperament can be simulated in general. They told me. I didn't check it myself, no, no.
My amazement came in the place where absolutely opposite requirements are applied to my wife. Obviously, loyalty, so valued by those surveyed, is understood as the opposite of sex appeal. The temperament should be completely switched over to economy, "you have to think about the house, about the house!" (WITH). Well, the mind in our tradition has always been the opposite of beauty. "Long hair - short mind" - this is "folk wisdom" not about women in general. This is clearly about women with beautiful long hair.
Interestingly, the relationship between a man and a woman almost always begins as a lover relationship. That is, she is sexy, pretty and thirsty for adventure. But if suddenly, in the process of developing relations, the couple decides to get married, she must urgently stop all this. Her time should be taken up by the household, borscht, shirts, that's all, so that she is busy enough to think about sex and not have time to think about her appearance. Taken together, this creates the necessary prerequisites for fidelity. And, of course, such a woman must be smart enough to understand that a man for whom it was important and valuable to "temperament, sex appeal, appearance" will get himself a mistress. And don't protest.
This gives us a funny picture. The wife and mistress do not overlap so much that it seems that in the minds of citizens it cannot be the same person at all. Moreover, these concepts do not intersect either in men or in women. There are so many stories about how a cheerful, vigorous, fantastical young lady, acquiring the status of a wife, becomes a dull figure at the stove almost the next day after the wedding. And this is not because she suddenly changed - a person can change so dramatically only in the case of a mental disorder. This is because now you need to play the expected role. And this role, as it turned out, does not oblige either beauty or sexuality. Only to loyalty and thrift.
On the one hand, it looks like a paradox. A man begins to date a woman, driven by sexuality, continues to wait for this sexuality in marriage, but, on the other hand, completely excludes it in his declared expectations from his wife. But if we look at the role of the mother, this paradox ceases to be a paradox.
From the mother, according to our picture, a lot is required. Caring, economic, smart, knows how to resist adversity, knows how to empathize. So, if there were no coincidences for "wife" and "mistress", then there are two whole coincidences. Household and smart - this is what unites wife and mother. This does not exclude loyalty (because we forgot about temperament and sex appeal even at the stage of the wife), and besides, where does a caring woman who empathizes and resists adversity all day long for looks and thoughts about men? That is, the role of the wife is approached not from the side of the mistress, but from the side of the mother. A wife is a mother minus some maternal options that are optional for an adult man.
The worst thing about all this is that the needs of a man and a woman, who were at the very beginning of the relationship, do not disappear. A man still wants to experience pleasant and exciting sensations next to a woman. A woman still wants an arousing confirmation of her own sexual attraction around a man. And if the family is the place where all this suddenly becomes forbidden (no, we, of course, modern people, and are tolerant of the fact that she will then "kiss the child with these lips" (c), but still, nevertheless !), then these needs are suppressed and remain unsatisfied, leading to irritation, a decrease in the standard of living, relationships, and health. Or are satisfied outside the family. Or in the family, but not in a direct and healthy form, but in a "crooked" - in the form of control, jealousy, involving children in triangulation (more on this some other time, but this happens so often that even go to Google don't need to know)
It is clear that these polls and pictures are somehow as if a little not about us, smart, well-read and "above all this." Yet societal expectations implicitly influence our lives and the shaping of our roles. Therefore, these expectations must be known and taken into account. Especially when, after the end of the honeymoon, a woman somehow sharply suddenly begins to want to slap the young husband's chef's forehead, who has come up with hugs from behind. Or a man suddenly starts to get annoyed with red lipstick and instead begins to attract exclusively red borscht. In general, if a woman after the wedding becomes a mother for a man, then this is the place where both should turn back and look for what they have lost because of the unconscious expectations of all those interviewed by VTsIOM in 2010.
Recommended:
Why Does A Man Break Up With His Mistress? Understanding Why A Married Man Leaves His Mistress?
Why does a man break up with his mistress? Fighting for married men (including for their wallets), many mistresses try to intimidate their wives, create a panic mood in them, set them up to surrender, to voluntarily abandon their husbands. For this, myths are created about the alleged total superiority of mistresses over wives in age, sexuality, appearance, character, etc.
Do You Also Want Freedom, Carelessness And Unbearable Lightness Of Being?
I know the most common ways to let go of problems and worries. Each has its own price. And your special pleasure) Go into books, food, alcohol, illness, psychosis, or just leave. Or maybe you prefer “to comprehend the secrets of the universe”?
Do You Need The Lightness Of Being
In our difficult times, it has somehow become fashionable that "everything was easy." Someone is waiting for "ease" in business to appear, quietly procrastinating; someone imitates lightness, while plowing like a bee; someone is waiting for help from magicians and psychotherapists on the way to make life easier, and someone is so cheerful and optimistic that they habitually call all tasks "
Unbearable Lightness Of Content
The unbearable lightness of the content. We are trying to do the impossible, to kill life itself on a metaphysical level, to turn our mental life into an area devoid of any mental component. We instinctively choose the simpler for ourselves, and that's okay.
Unbearable Lightness
I have an idea about the acute experience of difficulties with the baby, especially if he is the first, and I think about it for several days. It is very difficult to speak out of an accusing context (not in terms of an idea, since there is no blame in thoughts, but at the level of language), since every mother understands that she is an adult, I am next to her - a person who is completely dependent on her.
