What Kind Of Man Do You Deserve Or What It's Like To Be A Woman

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

- Who is that in the bushes? - asked Alice.

- Miracles - answered the Cheshire Cat.

- What are they doing there? she asked, blushing slightly.

- As befits miracles - they happen …

Lewis Carroll

It is not at all necessary to be a woman, that is, it is not necessary for a woman to be a woman (excuse the pun) - you can be both a man, and a friend, and an expert in your field. Many roles offer life to Man.

Some are convinced that a woman must necessarily be feminine, but I think that a woman at all “should not.” A WOMAN begins when she realizes and accepts what she WANTS.

And yet it is very common for women to WANT RELATIONSHIP (please do not confuse it with "WANTING happiness in a relationship").

For all his active success and recognition, if a person does not fulfill himself according to his gender, then complete satisfaction does not come. Therefore, the topic of relations between a man and a woman is relevant at all times. But what will this relationship be - happy or dramatic depends on the ability to notice

- how I GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP;

- what the relationship is based on;

- how to INFLUENCE your level of happiness in this process?

Here, I want to consider the main archetypes of men and women corresponding to these archetypes "interested" to unexpectedly meet men of the same archetype and persistently live the same scenario. We are periodically indignant at this state of affairs, but with incredible persistent consistency and inevitably we fall into the “same rake”.

Very often I hear the question: “Are other types of men found only in book novels and TV series? It is these "favorite rakes" that come across as evil to me. Let's take a look at this phenomenon. For ease of perception, you can use a pretty nice "line" of archetypes:

Victim - rejected - orphan - HERO - WINNER

(increasing from failure to success)

A person is able to move along this line both up and down. However, each individual still tends to be “registered on the floor” of his corresponding Basic State. Women, as well as men, have their place on this line, but now this is not about that - this is a topic for a separate article. Here, the emphasis is on the Male archetypes. and their companions.

Each archetype of men corresponds to a specific type of woman. And accordingly, women will not be interested in the “alien” archetype. No matter what the woman says in words. For example, that she has long wanted to see a confident, strong and successful man next to her. In fact, she is “doomed” to meet exactly what her own archetype corresponds to. Until She decides to go beyond the usual patterns, in other words, to grow up in the Spirit.

THE MAN IS THE VICTIM

He's a chronic loser and whiner. Everything is bad for him and in everything. He lives his life in anguish, sadness and apathy. His main activity is complaining about the "injustices of the world" and savoring regrets of different classes. The SACRIFICE often thinks "and not whether he should change the ball", since for him those around him, as well as life itself, seem unable to appreciate the breadth and genius of his nature. In fact, the man himself, of course, turns out to be unrealized.

But He is an excellent ground for self-affirmation of a woman with the SAVER archetype. Sowing virtue in the female hypostasis, in other words, it is the archetype of the GOOD MOTHER. Who else would “wipe the snot to the poor thing” if not MOMMY? Who will feed and warm at his breast? It is next to such a man that a woman, more than ever, can feel her relevance and competence. Her path is illuminated by Faith and Hope that the "boy" will grow up, recover (sometimes literally from alcoholism or drug addiction) and She will be able to say to herself one day: "I could, I did, I saved!" And please your ego. Or even say - "WE Could!" and this sweet "we" will fill her with a sense of family and her own involvement in the "miracle of healing." So nourishing the hope of surviving the confirmation of her own power, she chooses the SACRIFICE from the many men.

Symptom: EGO hungry for self-affirmation

Prediction: if the VICTIM creates “all conditions”, then HER will lose the motivation to get out. Having started to actively “nurse” the VICTIM, the person deprives her of the need to include her own enthusiasm.

THE MAN IS REJECTED

He is also a victim, but not a total one, but a thematic victim. He knows his offender by sight. Not everything and not everything is bad with him, but only those who abandoned him and disliked him. And if these are parents, then not both are to blame, but exactly one of them, while, as a rule, the other parent is “golden”. A REJECTED must necessarily have an Enemy who should be punished with contempt and boycott and against whom he is ready to "be close friends" with someone. This "someone" often becomes his woman.

This scenario of relationships is seen in a situation when HE tells HER how once HE loved greatly, and the object of his love could not feel the full depth of his feelings and all the beauty of his inner strength and his genius. Such girls are often "excellent" girls (moreover, GOOD EXCELLENT), as it seems to them that:

- Oh yeah! She could not, but I - I can / I look deeper into the root! After all, only a very worthy person could love so much. And he reassures himself with the hope that if he loved me so, then he will love me too, one day, when he will appreciate it.

A woman in this is shortsighted and does not see the whole scenario of the REDACTED one. Such an archetype, on a superficial acquaintance, gives the impression of a "good educated person", but with careless handling (if you touch his "sore subject") it can suddenly "hit the ground" and become an ENEMY, since he has these "sore subjects" …

EXCELLENT, this process is generally fascinating. EXCELLENT girls strongly include competition, evaluation and ranking: a bad-well-understandable coordinate system for her: "sit down five", "sit down two" - this is the basis of her picture of the world, and it encourages the EXCELLENT girl to earn love with her "goodness". The main thing here is to be friends against someone bad and in this is born such a sweet thing for women - WE.

Symptom: a good student wants to get an A.

Prediction: an excellent student, having her own opinion about …, with any disagreement with the opinion of the REJECTED, she can easily go into the category of an enemy. In a rejected person, spiritual forces are turned on only if there is an Enemy, and when "everything is fine, all enemies are defeated and all their homes", then he "will not itch", and instead of spending a happy time with him, the girl-EXCELLENT gets a dreary-dull existence " a well-fed Sunday evening in the family "and a boring man reclining on the couch with gadgets.

Therefore, such a man, if he lives with someone "in a relationship", then in order to be in shape, he completely unconsciously, periodically and on a sliding schedule, appoints household members as his enemies, not excluding even animals and children. At the same time, they are also periodically awaited by a joyful truce "for the last time", as well as gifts, sex and other joys.

MAN - ORPHAN

This is a very interesting and very densely represented layer of men. Many people live here. At first glance, it may seem that an orphan is an apathetically sad VICTIM, but this is not so. The ORPHAN can very energetically beg and pity with such enthusiasm that even Stanislavsky himself would have applauded him.

ORPHANITY precedes the configuration of the HERO, but unlike the active HERO who has a pronounced principle “I myself, I can”, the ORPHANITY hopes that the circumstances, and not he himself, will help solve his life problems.

ORPHANA, with all its readiness for action, strongly intends to acquire the resources of the people around him for his own benefit, according to the principle of the cat Matroskin: "joint work for the sake of my benefit unites."Yes, ORPHAN is not yet a HERO, but she is very "preparing" to become one. And this gives hope to the Women HEROINE, who are ready for the common good of the family to infringe a little or a lot and start investing in “talented and promising.” Trusting the popular belief in becoming the wife of a general, you need to marry a lieutenant.

However, the ORPHANE has a great temptation to continue to acquire the woman's resources, to feed her with promises. Another distinctive feature of ORPHANIS is a pathological craving for “freebies” (promotions, bonuses and various adventures: where “hocus pocus” and a person is fabulously rich without much difficulty). Therefore, they often become victims of financial fraud and various MMM, losing funds, both their own funds and the funds of friends and women who "invested" in them. In the event of a financial loss, ORPHAN sincerely believes that it was an accident that prevented it, but next time it will definitely … and energetically "beg" again.

ORPHAN is not a HERO yet. He does not understand the power of the power and beauty of actions from the principle of "I MYSELF" that appear in the HERO, and therefore, he - the ORPHAN asks or seeks to snatch from others. The tragedy of an ORPHAN is that he does not believe that he really deserves what he wants. He is often deep in his soul convinced that he himself is worth much less than what he wants and because he feels that "honestly" he will not achieve this, so it is necessary to either beg (from his own) or turn fraudulent actions (with strangers).

He is scared and jealous at the same time. It is scary from not conforming to the level of life that he envies, and then he often has to lie, pity or "drive show-off."

His pair is Woman HERO, even rather a CONTROLLING MOTHER. She, too, is drawn into various tricks in the hope of raising a HERO from an orphan for herself. This is where the question arises: “Why not find yourself a ready-made HERO?”. Ready-made HEROES do not suit the CONTROLLING MOTHER for two reasons.

First, HEROES are not satisfied with CONTROLLING MOTHER. HERO deserves a holiday - a woman is a trophy. And the trophy must be worthy in shape and condition. HEROES have higher standards than ORPHANS.

Second, HEROES are free and self-willed, therefore the CONTROLLING MOTHER does not like this behavior / state. It may confuse her heroic plans for "us."

Symptom: Power and influence. I will teach him to be a HERO by example.

Forecast: Disappointment and mutual claims (who for whom, what, when did / gave / gave more).

MAN IS A HERO

HERO is the first successful archetype previously discussed. He has a pronounced principle “I myself, I can”.

HERO is the archetype of a person, which, when involved in the process, does not diminish, but on the contrary strengthens and promotes this process towards obvious evolution and success.

He is reliable "in the battle for a just cause", for the success and prosperity of the company and family.

HEROES by their exploits appear before us as winners, but this does not make them absolute WINNERS, this is only a string of temporary victories. The HERO is distinguished from the WINNER by excessive vanity and concern. The HEROES feel that their victory can be temporary or, worse, illusory, and then back into battle.

However, he is not yet a WINNER, which means that with all his luck and success, he still “cannot return from the war.” He does not have time to celebrate and enjoy the results of his labors. This presents the HERO as incredibly courageous and romantic in the eyes of many women who flock in flocks and circle around the HEROES trembling with eyelashes.

So what kind of women are the WOMEN OF HEROES?

These are FEMALE women. They are able to accept and respect the free manifestations of a man and his INDEPENDENT DECISIONS do not frighten, but delight them. Women who truly BELIEVE IN COURSE and with the ability to absorb their jealousy of the adventures of their HERO, as in this women recognize the man's right to be FREE and SELF-DEFINITIVE.

The drama / imperfection of the HERO is that for all his activities and heroic activity, he continues to search for himself. The hero is generally inclined to check not only himself, but also his women on the subject of who values him more. Therefore, they are often guided by the principle “whoever praises me the best will get the biggest candy.” They arrange “fights” between their fans while controlling the situation. eyes and on this he relies on his own self-esteem.

Women tear him apart, and this flatters the HERO. In addition, the presence of several passions is a guarantee that in any situation the HERO cannot descend into the exclusion zone, that is, this is a guarantee that he will not slide down below the REJECTED one. He learned well that a holy place is never empty (not Tanya, so Nastya or Katya / Ira / Lena). Sitting on many chairs is an important stage of development here. The HERO cannot even make a choice among women: "what if I miss something better"

Symptom: Bride pageant among ROMANTIC EXCELLENCE (to prove that I am the best)!

Prediction: his woman is proud of her HERO and worried about herself. Only when you begin to feel yourself the most beautiful, it turns out that the "mirror light" brings the smell of other people's spirits and the presence of other beauties.

What to do? There are few HEROES in the world, and even less WINNERS.

MAN - WINNER

An extremely rare variety, you may not find it at all.

The WINNER has definitely “returned from the war”. His world is the best. That is, he himself experiences his WORLD and the world around him as the best. Wherever he is - this is “a holiday that is always with you.” Calm and confident enjoyment of the best of the best. All the time in the world is ours. He no longer fusses and does not rush, he is absolutely sure that everything happens and will happen on time. active, but it may be almost invisible, because it usually makes minimal but absolutely precise movement and the effect is achieved.

This is what describes his state of life. He's really good. He is convinced that all the best that exists in the Middle Kingdom is available to him, otherwise what kind of winner is he. And if something is not there, then he does not need it. Appreciating time and freedom, he chooses a woman himself. Unlike the HERO, who rushes between those who chose him.

Who is his Woman? Of course the Queen. Here is the "fairy tale" that many women dream of. Queen? - Yes. She is the only one, because the best can only be in a single copy. Princess contests are left behind for the glorious, but still anxious, afraid to make mistakes, miscalculate and / or be rejected HEROES.

The woman is the Queen, she does not compete and does not bargain for her value. She exudes contentment and perfection. Her condition can be characterized as follows: EVERYTHING IS ALREADY - everything has happened (to improve, fight, fear, there is nothing more to control, there is no more war). Of course, after all, Her man is the best - he is the King, which means there is order in her country, since the best possessing the best is an excellent master. So everything he does is right and his "everything and everything" is obeyed, like the Pope.

The "Women's World" is happy to have a FATHER-KING. Nobody is looking for someone to blame. The war is over, the "enemies" are defeated, things are done. The QUEEN is pleased with how the KING confidently and tenderly rules in the BIG world.

Nothing that her King might want to do will make her "wrinkle her nose" (this is typical of princesses / warrior heroines / mothers and nannies). She is the Queen - a woman of celebration and pleasure.

And therefore it is peculiar to her to SHINE HAPPINESS in any scenario. This is the main quality of a WINNER woman. It is a calm glow of happiness. This calmness, from a feeling of abundance and security, is unlike the changeable joy of a girl clapping her hands, whose euphoria from external sources will be replaced by sadness that the resource is over or will end soon. The QUEEN is full of herself and is capable of generating grace herself.

Forecast:

What are the forecasts for Paradise? There is no future, as well as the past itself - there is eternal timelessness - Here and Now.

If the WINNER loses the state of paradise next to his partner, then he observes for some time: maybe the partner did not get enough sleep, maybe he has a problem and immediately tries to solve it and usually quickly solves it. If this does not help and "paradise" is not restored, then the WINNER, without offense and clarification of the relationship, unfolds and leaves, since He is focused not on the neuroticism of games with problems, but on the result and the state of happiness.

The path of a WINNER is I WANT TO DO AND I RECEIVE ENJOY. In the last word, the main difference between the WINNER and the HERO is Paradise within.

Heaven on the inside tends to recreate paradise on the outside. Everything that is not about this is quickly removed from his life and HAPPINESS is restored, since people with the WAY are very attractive to the opposite sex.

Now the answer to the question: What to DO WITH IT ALL or how to increase the level of happiness in a relationship?

1. Understand what scenario you are playing.

2. Consider how I myself / myself create it (get into the script).

3. Find a secondary benefit in playing your script. For example, the desire to assert itself at the expense of an unlucky partner / or the desire to insure against betrayal / desire to control and manage a partner, etc.

4. Explore the next level and take responsibility for the internal development of a hitherto uncharacteristic quality or abilities inherent in the next level.

5. Doing new things, embodying a new quality.

Remember, a person's life is changed only by new actions and on this path of transformation it is important to know that suppression of those qualities that have already developed will not lead to a result. For example, developing responsibility / masculinity is not an option, but playing along and mimicry on the way to even bigger problems. The solution here is to develop the polarity of your archetype: trust / femininity to balance your nature.