Psychotherapy In Pictures. Part One

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I will warn you right away that there are many options, methods and approaches in our work, and in this article I will tell only about one of them, which is convenient to explain in a clear and accessible way. This method is to find and fix the root cause of the client's problem. In this version, psychotherapy takes place in several stages.

Stage one. What's happening with you?

A client comes to a psychotherapist with a problem. Let's take two examples:

Example 1. Peter is afraid of public speaking

Example 2. Alexey complains about laziness and a tendency to procrastinate

For clarity, I will supply the first example with a picture at each stage. Like this:

The task of the therapist at this stage is to find out what feelings the client is experiencing and what the situation of public speaking means for the client. This stage can last for a long time, or it can take several seconds, depending on the client's level of awareness. As a result, we get information about the following content:

Example 1. When I need to speak in front of an audience, I feel afraid that I will be ridiculed / negatively evaluated / kicked out / showered with tomatoes. For me, this will mean that I am worthless / bad / unworthy

Example 2. When I need to do something, I postpone until the last, because if I start doing and do it, I will definitely have a latent feeling that someone will not like it - and they will scold me

That is, the psychotherapist understands the following:

Example 1. Peter has a fear of evaluation, and a negative evaluation from the outside for him means a loss of dignity

Example 2. Any personal activity in Alexei causes fear that he will be punished

The mechanism of why Peter is scared to speak and why Alexei is too lazy to do business, we have found out, we pass to the second stage.

Stage two. We all come from childhood

Here we need to find out from the client where and under what circumstances Peter (example 1) learned to be afraid of evaluation when he expresses his opinion, and Alexey (example 2) learned to be afraid of punishment when he is active.

As a result of the second stage, we get something like the following story:

Example 1. When I said something as a child, they answered me that I was stupid, or "here you are, they didn't ask you." I do not remember that my opinion was supported, but I remember that I was scolded a lot

Example 2. I was often scolded for breaking something or doing something wrong. My parents rarely liked the way I cleaned the floor or peeled potatoes, usually I heard that I was "crooked". I was not praised for the A's, it was taken for granted, but I was scolded for the F's

That is, in childhood, the picture was like this:

For the therapist, these stories are linked in a logical sequence:

Example 1. Peter's fear of evaluation is due to the fact that he was often negatively assessed in childhood. He has almost no experience of a positive assessment. He still lives with the feeling that he can only "freeze" stupidity. And that whatever he says will be used against him in the form of criticism. These thoughts arise unconsciously, at the level of a reflex. In the form of a slogan in the subconscious, his problem sounds like this: "I'd better not say anything, because they will criticize anyway."

Example 2. In Alexei, the fear of acting is associated with punishment for the free childish activity that he showed. He still lives with the feeling that if he shows any activity, he will be punished immediately. This sensation arises uncontrollably and unconsciously, at the level of a reflex. Consciously Alexey only feels lazy and unwillingness to do something. In the form of an unconscious slogan, his problem sounds like this: "I'd rather not do anything until I have been punished."

It looks as if the client is already an adult, but in his head, by inertia, it still seems to be small:

Stage three. It's never too late to have a happy childhood

This is where we change our emotional attitudes toward childhood experiences. Attention! We cannot change the past, but we can reevaluate it and make a different decision (change the slogan).

Example 1. Peter's problem is divided into two: one small and one very large. Small: that his parents devalued him. The big one is that because of this he learned to devalue himself, he decided that something was wrong with him - and he could not say anything worthwhile. We cannot do anything about the fact that his parents devalued him - this is a past that cannot be undone. But we can solve his main problem: he will appreciate himself, even if his parents do not appreciate, feel that everything is in order with him, that the child could be told nonsense - this is normal and this is not a reason to devalue himself. When Peter was small, this task was beyond his power. But now he has grown up, and the adult Peter can draw independent adult conclusions

Example 2. Alexey's problem is also divided into 2 parts. Small part: prohibitions and punishments of parents. Big: he still does not allow himself to be active. We cannot turn back time and save a child from punishment. But we can solve his main problem: Alexey may notice that no one has been punishing him for a long time. And that there is no longer any point in limiting yourself from action. Now he has grown up and can safely allow himself to be active

This is what it looks like for a therapist:

Now our task is to do like this:

This solves the main problem: Peter stops devaluing himself - and begins to appreciate.

Stage four. Checking how it works

A good psychotherapist will offer to check the results of the work in reality. He will ask how the week went, was the next performance easier, were there any progress in the planned activities?

Example 1. Here Peter, for example, learned to value himself, even if he does not find support among those around him. Now, thinking about the performance, he does not strain and does not break out in a cold sweat. If he has learned how to do this in a psychotherapist's office, it's time to do it in reality

Example 2. Alexey does not feel like escaping to the Internet when he thinks about things, but now thinks about them with a desire to do. If he has learned this, then the reality check will happen automatically: he will nail the shelf, dismantle the mess in the closet and finally go off to get a haircut

In the picture it looks like this:

If the check is successful, then the client and I can either move on to another problem or finish the job.

I hope this article cleared something up for you. Let me remind you that this is just one of the many ways we work. In one sentence: the therapist helps to find and eliminate the cause of the problem. And then the client has the strength to solve the problem in the present.