"I Am The One Whom No One Loves" Or The Demonic Charm Of A Despot

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

All who had the "luck" to face abuser, as it has become fashionable to call domestic despots nowadays, will not deny that they have charisma!

Arina always dreamed of meeting a "real man". The first student marriage failed and she ruthlessly kicked out her husband for weakness and laziness.

Having filed a divorce, the woman forbade her ex-spouse to communicate with her six-year-old son Pashka, for whom she began to look for a new dad. Arina is a bright tall brunette with a good figure and her profile on a dating site immediately gained popularity. The woman met with different applicants, but none of them "hooked" her: This one is boring, that one is stingy, the third one is "like a wind in the field", and "the fourth one is not alive".

This continued until the woman met Valery.

Valera turned out to be a real dream - sporty, handsome, with a wide white-toothed smile, in a car of a representative class. He showered Arina with expensive gifts, did not forget to give both Pashka and Arina's mother, which he won love and support from the future mother-in-law!

- Do not be a fool, do not let such a guy pass: both generous and Pashka is drawn to him, he achieved everything himself! - said Lyudmila Vasilievna to her daughter.

And Arina did not miss it!

Valery and Arina often traveled in business class, taking Pasha and Lyudmila Vasilievna with them.

When the young people signed, Valera seemed to be replaced. As a "teetotaler" he began to drink a little at the wedding and was so involved that he could not stop for several weeks. As a result, he was "asked" from a prestigious job. And when Arina tried to be indignant at the dramatic changes in her husband, she "flew in" so that she did not recognize herself in the mirror.

The trigger that launched the aggression was a holiday congratulation that Arina received on a social network from a classmate.

In the morning, my husband crawled on his knees and, in the literal sense, kissed the feet of the “beloved”, and she did not “wash dirty linen in public”, forgiven …

This was repeated for several years. Valery was jealous of Arina, who practically did not leave the house without him, to interlocutors on social networks, to calls from "lascivious girlfriends", constantly snatched the phone from her hands, demanded an explanation. Even the birth of a common daughter did not change the situation.

Were there any "bells" that Arina did not pay attention to when meeting?

By the age of 33, before meeting with Arina, Valera had twice managed to be married - official and civil, from which there was only a child.

Sentimental Valera assured that he adores children, but former women, "depraved bitches" forbid him to approach children closer than "to a cannon shot."

Having a good education and fluent English, Valera quickly got a prestigious job in large foreign companies, where he parted with him just as quickly for unknown reasons.

- I am a person who many envy! - Valery assured Arina.

- What is so special about you? - why doesn't Arina think about it and find out about it earlier?

There are people who are quite nice, generous and sociable, they often become the soul of the company, they are loved by women. Only as long as they are sober or still able to control themselves when drinking alcohol.

As soon as the goal for which they keep themselves in the "iron mitt" is achieved, whether it is the location of a woman or potential leadership, control automatically weakens and they "go off the rails", starting to take revenge on others for what they "tried so hard" for them.

They seem to be infused with a powerful destructive force, which does not leave all good and bright stone unturned.

First of all, these are deeply traumatized people and the root of their problem lies deeply, deeply.

Rarely!

In 15% of cases and on condition that they themselves decide to give up alcohol, which triggers an escalation of aggression. Refuse altogether! Declare yourself a voluntary dry law.

What should a woman do if she is not ready to file for divorce?

1. Convince my husband to stop drinking!
2. If you do not have the strength and ability, seek help from narcologists.
3. Take a program of help for addicts and codependents together
4. And, of course, family therapy - working with a psychologist together with your husband
5. Separate work of the husband with the therapist, carefully, layer by layer, digging and neutralizing the rusty shells of childhood injuries.
6. And, of course, the basis of success is a great and mutual desire to be together.