2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
HOW TO INTERACT WITH YOUR SENSITIVITY? Part one.
During consultations, I regularly hear the expression: "I take everything very close to my heart." Sometimes the excitement of sensitive people is so great that they can sleep badly for another week and replay in their heads the situations that hurt them. These endless dialogues, excitement, exhausting sleepless nights - take a lot of energy and lead to exhaustion of the nervous system.
According to my observations, a more traumatic area of sensitive people is contact, that is, interaction with other people. Sensitive people react more subtly and painfully to even the slightest manifestations of sarcasm, pressure, injustice, manipulation, lies, self-affirmation at the expense of others - an attack on self-esteem.
How do you interact with your sensitivity?
Five steps:
- First step - give yourself the right to experience, consciously experience, all those complex emotions, feelings that arose in certain, wounding situations. Of course, it is better to do this with a psychologist or psychotherapist, because then a therapeutic field is formed and work with a specialist makes it possible to work more deeply and effectively into these states, discovered limiting concepts and, accordingly, release the energy that goes into “servicing” these “traumas”. If it is not possible to work with a specialist, then it is important before starting independent work - to tune in, breathe calmly, take a pen and paper, and write down what exactly hurt in a given situation, what feelings it caused, what hurts the most inside. Pay attention to which words you repeat most often. For example, these can be words: injustice, misunderstanding, rudeness. Then you can see what exactly you hurt the most. This is the “place” inside that needs to be nourished with love and acceptance. As a rule, "traumatization" in this place occurred in childhood, therefore it is important to work with the inner child here - this is what a psychotherapist, a psychologist, and a client works with. To do this on your own, in my opinion, is not easy. But, nevertheless, you can also write on paper: how you feel, with what childhood experience it is connected. In independent work, it is important not only to prescribe, but also to pronounce what you have written. For example, in front of a mirror, you can also shoot a video for yourself. So, the main task of the first step is a deep, conscious living of your feelings and emotions in a special state. This step is usually quite lengthy and time-consuming, and it is important to give yourself this time.
- Second step - to trace your model of behavior. Try to see yourself from the outside: how do I behave in situations that hurt me? Often, sensitive people find it difficult to interact with a tough, sarcastic, assertive, manipulative interlocutor, so they, more often than not, are lost and silent. That is, a sensitive person, most likely, does not respond or reacts poorly in the moment. Energy accumulates inside (resentment, resentment, etc.), but does not go anywhere in a timely manner. But, as a rule, upon completion of such a situation, it is covered with a “lingering, pouring rain” - the endless scrolling of situations and dialogues in my head, overwhelmed by the desire to express everything, tears come, etc. At this step, it is important to trace how I behave to a hurting me situations, during such a situation and after. If you work on your own, write it all down, and then say it out loud. Pay attention to patterns, what causes the most stress - these are your development zones.
Continuation of the article at the link:
Psychologist Linda Papitchenko
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