Fear And The Prohibition To Manifest Or How To Get Out Of Your "shell"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There are many reasons why we hold back our own manifestation: fear, shame, past negative experiences, rejection, family messages like “don't show up! Keep your head down! Don't become visible. When the attitude “to be like everyone else and not to stand out” made life less problematic …

But what to do when this setting is outdated and gets in the way?

When there is a traumatic experience, the world is seen as threatening. There is a fear of getting hurt again, of collapse. Someone once stopped, rejected, criticized - there is a fear of repetition, so to appear is a risk …

I remember when I just started practicing as a gestalt therapist, while still studying at the first stage, I was faced with the fact that I had to somehow declare myself, manifest myself, make a website. And, oh horror! I so wanted clients to know about me, and it was so scary and even ashamed to talk about myself. I felt like an impostor … There was a case when my program manager, the coach told me: "Do you have advertising on the Internet ?!" to support me that I'm great. And to my perception it sounded like “do you already have an advertisement? Isn't it too early for you ?! " …

My inner critic was relentless … Sometimes there is just a chorus of critics who simply "peck" all the ideas still inside, not giving the opportunity to manifest anything in the World. And there is no criticism as such, but it is seen everywhere - because it is inside … Previously, we were criticized, stopped, now these voices of significant people live in us, and it is not they, but we who stop ourselves.

Many people know the feeling fear of rejection … Such people constantly fear that their actions, emotions, or personality will be rejected by others. The fact that sooner or later they will be deprived of the acceptance (love) of others and become outcasts. Therefore, it is better not to appear to be comfortable and further deserve the love of others, and in fact parents.

Prohibition to manifest protects us from re-experiencing severe pain. Which was in the past experience and is associated with rejection, bullying, ridicule or other traumatic events, meeting with his wounded part, with his "badness", vulnerability. The psyche protects us in this way from the repetition of trauma. But this prevents you from achieving something very important, takes away strength and deprives you of opportunities.

When there is an inner desire to express oneself - to “give birth” to one's identity into the world. On the one hand, there is a fear that something ugly may be born, and there is still no readiness to meet with the real myself, those whom I myself do not yet know. What if I will not be accepted and rejected?

After all, we learn what we are from significant others who reflect us. At first, these are the parents or their substitutes. And then we appropriate this knowledge about ourselves and know that we are. So we will find out what we are or not know … And then it is difficult to understand what kind of person I am? What am I?

« Get out of your shell ”Is a metaphor for the birth of a new identity, when there is still not enough internal support and there is a need for external support of a meaningful environment. The fear of someone else's assessment has tremendous power, as it once did in childhood from parental approval. Fear of being seen and caught in its imperfection, need and vulnerability. And not accepting or not allowing yourself to be that way.

Now, in order to be visible, you need to do something for this, to manifest, to be noticeable, to declare yourself. It is difficult to do this if it exists inside prohibition to be.

Constant containment of your energy when it is not directed into the outside world, but is inhibited. Inability to express your feelings, anger, irritation, inability to show your spontaneity and naturalness, creativity, activity, your services. The inability to manifest is the inability to find your place in society.

The way out is where the entrance is, namely to live those feelings and that situation with the help of a therapist and his support. To face those feelings of pain, resentment in order to unblock the prohibition, to live these emotions and experiences in a relationship with the therapist, to appropriate a different experience, the experience of acceptance. Make sure that people and the world around you are different.

Risk Express yourself is rewarded with a sense of freedom and your way under your feet, the horizon, your value, integrity and selfhood, stability and flexibility at the same time, the reality of everything that happens in your life.

I remember when I just started practicing as a gestalt therapist, while still studying at the first stage, I was faced with the fact that I had to somehow declare myself, manifest myself, make a website. And oh, horror, I so wanted clients to know about me, and it was so scary and even ashamed to talk about myself. I felt like an impostor…. There was a case when my program director, the coach told me: "Do you have advertising on the Internet ?!" to support me that I'm great. And to my perception it sounded like “do you already have an advertisement? is it too early for you yet ?! " ….

My inner critic was relentless … Sometimes there is just a chorus of critics who simply "peck" all the ideas still inside, not giving the opportunity to even manifest something in the World. And there is no criticism as such, but it is seen everywhere - because it is inside … Previously, we were criticized, stopped, now these voices of significant people live in us and it is no longer they, but we are stopping ourselves.

Many people know the feeling fear of rejection … Such people constantly fear that their actions, emotions, or personality will be rejected by others. The fact that sooner or later they will be deprived of the acceptance (love) of others and become outcasts. Therefore, it is better not to appear to be camphor and further deserve the love of others, and in fact parents.

Prohibition to manifest protects us from re-experiencing such intense pain. Which was in the past experience and is associated with rejection, bullying, ridicule or other traumatic events, meeting with his wounded part, with his "badness", vulnerability. The psyche protects us in this way from the repetition of trauma. But this prevents you from achieving something very important, takes away strength and deprives you of opportunities.

When there is an inner desire to express oneself "give birth" to one's identity into the world. On the one hand, there is a fear that something ugly might be born, and there is still no willingness to meet with the real one, those whom I do not yet know myself. What if I will not be accepted and rejected?

After all, we learn what we are from significant others who reflect us. At first, these are the parents or their substitutes. And then we appropriate this knowledge about ourselves and know that we are. So we will find out what we are or not know … And then it is difficult to understand what kind of person I am? What am I?

« Get out of your shell ”Is a metaphor for the birth of a new identity, when there is still not enough internal support and there is a need for external support of a meaningful environment. The fear of someone else's assessment has tremendous power, as it once did in childhood from the omnipotence of parents. Fear of being seen and caught in its imperfection, need and vulnerability. And not accepting or not allowing yourself to be that way.

Now, in order to be visible, you need to do something for this, to manifest, to be noticeable, to declare about yourself. It is difficult to do this if it exists inside prohibition to be.

Constant containment of your energy, when it is not directed to the outside world, but is inhibited. Inability to express your feelings, anger, irritation, inability to show your spontaneity and naturalness, creativity, activity, your services. The inability to manifest is the inability to find your place in society.

The exit is where the entrance is, namely, to live those feelings and that situation with the help of a psychotherapist, with his support. To face those feelings of pain, resentment in order to unblock the prohibition, to live these emotions and experiences in a relationship with the therapist, to appropriate a different experience, the experience of acceptance. Make sure that people and the world around you are different.

Risk Express yourself is rewarded with a sense of freedom and your way under your feet, the horizon, your value, integrity and selfhood, stability and flexibility at the same time, the reality of everything that happens in your life.