Sexuality Of Women And Men. Attitudes Towards Sex In Different Genders

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A recent poll in the United States, "Would you rather have a successful clothing purchase or amazing sex?" gave the following results: women preferred buying in 46%, and sex - in 41%; men preferred a purchase in 14%, and sex - in 76%.

It's no secret that sex takes a bigger place in the lives of men than in the lives of women. And it's no surprise that the average man and woman have different attitudes about sex. For example, the wedding night, the moment of defloration, is a turning point in a woman's life. In the life of a man, on the contrary, the first sexual intercourse often does not play any role, writes E. P. Ilyin in his book "Differential psychophysiology of men and women." Psychologists note that women are "moderately conservative" about casual sex, while men are "moderately tolerant." Data collected from 177 studies on a sample of 130,000 people showed that casual sex is much more acceptable for men … The origins of these differences lie both in the biological specificity of those and others, and in the difference in their social roles. As a result, men and women find it difficult to understand each other.

This misunderstanding goes through three stages. At the first stage, which occurs in childhood, boys have the illusion that girls are the same boys who, for some reason, prefer dolls to games of war, are more whiny and cannot pee while standing. At the second stage, which largely coincides with the period of puberty, the girls appear to adolescent boys as mysterious creatures, to whom they are afraid to approach, but to whom they are attracted by a mysterious force. Girls have a similar misunderstanding. Only at the third stage do young male people begin to understand that their girlfriends are also made of flesh and blood and can also find pleasure in sex, only they do it differently. Some men take several years to complete this stage.

German psychologist Wilhelm Jonen writes that men, especially young men, often have an inadequate, "split" perception of women: they perceive them or as harlots, or how saints … At the same time, it is very difficult for them to combine these two ideas in the person of that particular woman with whom they are dealing.

Some young men worship their beloved, carefully hiding their carnal and, as it seems to them, "indecent" desires, while others, on the contrary, try to seem deliberately rude and sexual. Such views have their origins in religious medieval views on a woman who appeared either in the image of the Madonna or the Witch. The first, positive image was endowed with purity, innocence, aversion to sex life, and the second was a temptation, "lust." In psychoanalytic teachings, there was also an ambivalent attitude towards women: as a mother and as a sexual partner. This duality of attitude towards women was well described by Stefan Zweig: “… the Creator of this world, when making men, clearly distorted something in them; therefore, they always demand from women the opposite of what they offer them: if a woman easily surrenders to them, men, instead of gratitude, assure that they can love only innocence with pure love. And if a woman wants to maintain innocence, they only think about how to snatch the treasure from her carefully. And they never find peace, for the contradictory nature of their desires requires an eternal struggle between flesh and spirit"

The development of male sexuality is characterized by the phase of the so-called adolescent hypersexuality, which begins in adolescence and continues for 2-3 years after its completion. This period is characterized by increased sexual excitability and the growth of erotic interests and fantasies. The type of male sexual constitution is first clearly manifested during puberty. Its signs are the age of awakening of sexual desire and the age of the first ejaculation. The earlier puberty begins, the more violently it proceeds and the faster it ends. Early maturing boys and in subsequent years have a more intense sex life.

If adolescent boys often have negativism towards female representatives, alienation from girls of their own age, then girls, on the contrary, during this period, begins to intensely show interest in representatives of the opposite sex, moreover, in those older than themselves.

Female sexuality develops more slowly than male sexuality, although biologically girls mature earlier than boys. First, the girl develops a need for psychological closeness with the young man, and only then erotic feelings. They consider physical rapprochement more a means of strengthening psychological contact with a young man than an end in itself.

Flirtatiousness is a typical manifestation of female sexuality. Flirtation is a complex involuntary behavioral response based on the urge to attract attention. Behind it is the temperament and the severity of sexual desire, which in an adult woman is defined as "sexual resonance." In little girls, coquetry can manifest itself as if by itself, outside the stimulus.

It is in coquetry that a woman's initiative in the relationship between the sexes manifests itself, which has a deep biological meaning - to be noticed. After all, in order to begin to look after her, a man must pay attention to her. The greatest disappointment and grief for a woman is delivered by a situation where she is not paid attention to exactly as a woman.

The sexuality of a woman is also manifested in her shyness and shyness. Usually bashfulness is observed after 5-6 years, and at first it is expressed indistinctly and is transient. As puberty progresses, it increases and becomes permanent, especially with the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics. At first, it is expressed in relation to everyone, but then - only in relation to a representative of the opposite sex. If the family attaches excessive importance to accidental exposure of the body, then bashfulness can develop into pretentiousness, behavior devoid of simplicity and naturalness. The meaning of a woman's manifestation of bashfulness and shyness is to show that although she seeks to attract the attention of a man, this happens to her against her will, against her will. However, this is precisely what is a pronounced sexual stimulus for a man. The biological meaning of female shyness is well illustrated by the well-known anecdote: "Am I running too fast?" - the chicken thought.

According to psychologists, "a woman's shyness is only a stimulus to all manifestations of courtship." The fact is that nature has laid down a certain period during which a man achieves a woman, and she looks closely at him. Ideally, in this way, the seriousness of his intentions is checked, his readiness to raise offspring together. Some women, instinctively knowing this, begin to play hard to get too much. However, excessive coldness often makes a man stop his courtship, as he begins to think that he is not interested in this woman.

Nowadays, according to psychologists, women are rapidly masculinizing (adopting male stereotypes of behavior) and are extremely impatient. The unfortunate gentleman has not yet had time to really tell his biography, and the energetic partner is already pulling him into bed. This is especially true for independent and successful ladies. Often they are active when they meet, they immediately transfer it to a close stage, but at the same time they count on a serious attitude towards them. It can be very difficult for a man who genetically expects a completely different stereotype of female behavior to “rebuild” and determine: his new acquaintance is so compliant because of a sudden surging feeling for him, or is it her usual demeanor with all the opposite sex.

In men, the first sexual intercourse, as a rule, is not entirely successful. This, according to some reports, is observed in half of healthy men. Due to overexcitation, a man can have both premature ejaculation and lack of erection. For most men, sexual sensations are associated with coitus and end immediately after ejaculation, and foreplay is of secondary importance and is done more for the partner than for himself. A man reaches orgasm faster than a woman. A man is more easily aroused, his erogenous zones are mainly located in the area of the external genital organs, the skin of the glans penis is especially active.

Sexual arousal in women is most often provoked by touching her erogenous zones. At the same time, the emotional reactions and localization of erotic sensations in women are much more diverse than in men. Women have many more erogenous zones. Some sexologists believe that this is due to the fact that women know their body better and are more attentive to it. Other irritants may also be important: the smell of a man's sweat, viewing romantic pictures. Male sexual arousal occurs under the influence of more diverse symbolic stimuli, for example, paintings, figures of naked women, oral descriptions of sexual activity. However, men's sexuality also has individual differences. Some men are aroused at the sight of a woman's breasts, others - by looking at women's legs, etc. Since a man "loves with his eyes" more, the process of undressing a woman plays an important role in his arousal. In this regard, many Western magazines for women publish advice on undressing, and in the East it is generally elevated to the rank of high art.

For a man, the most powerful sexual stimuli are physical sex, nudity or intercourse, and women achieve this ability in the process of romantic relationships and loving contact with a man. Therefore, women tend to "romanticize" the description of sexual desire and arousal, presented to them as love, emotional closeness and devotion. However, about a third of women, like men, experience sexual arousal under the influence of a symbolic stimulus, and 2-3% of women respond sexually to an even greater variety of stimuli than men. Women can more accurately and vividly convey in words their sexual feelings and experiences than men. Women's sexual responses much more than men's, depend on psychological factors (mood, nuances of relationships, etc.).

In contrast to men, in women, orgasmic activity increases gradually, reaching a climax many years after maturation (at about 35 years). The female orgasm is longer than the male, both in terms of objective indicators and subjective sensations. At the same time, there are more varieties of orgasm in women than in men. So, many of them clearly distinguish between vaginal and clitoral types of orgasm. According to research, 70% of women who experience both types of orgasm say that the vaginal orgasm, which engulfs the whole woman, is more enjoyable. However, about half of women can experience vaginal orgasm only with additional fondling and clitoral stimulation.

In terms of strength, the female orgasm is superior to the male. This is stated in the ancient Greek myth of Tiresias. One day he saw the mating snakes and hit them with a stick. As a punishment, the gods turned him into a woman. The male form returned to him after seven years, when he again hit two of the same snakes. Once Zeus and Hera argued about who gets more sexual pleasure, a man or a woman, and asked Tiresias to judge them, since he knew the characteristics of both sexes. Tiresias replied that a woman experiences pleasure nine times more than a man.

Another feature of women is their ability to multiple orgasm, that is, immediately after one orgasm, a woman can reach the second or third, while men after ejaculation do not respond to sexual stimulation for some time and do not feel the desire to repeat intercourse.

Unlike men, an orgasm in women can be caused not only by the genital route, but also by the extragenital one, that is, by irritation of various reflexogenic zones, including during dance. A woman's ability to have an orgasm depends on many psychological and social factors. Women who rate their marriage as happy are more likely to have orgasms than those who consider their marriage to be unsuccessful. Women who were deprived of love and attention from their fathers in childhood are less likely to reach orgasm. Highly educated women are more likely to have orgasms than low-educated women. The older and more experienced a woman is, the less problems they have with orgasm, since they have already overcome their fears and complexes of youth, have studied their sexual capabilities, and gained self-confidence. Women who have achieved professional success and are passionate about their work are more likely to have orgasms than social losers. Equality of spouses in showing initiative or refusing to have sexual relations is also important: with equality of spouses, there are more satisfied spouses.

Ignoring the characteristics of the sexuality of women by men often leads to disharmony in sexual relations. For example, a study of American sexual responses indicates that in married couples, men regularly achieve physical satisfaction, while women do not. One study cites figures that 70% of women surveyed do not experience orgasm during traditional intercourse. Women see the reason for the disharmony in the fact that men are in a hurry, rude and inattentive, that they are not able to understand the erotic and romantic meaning of gentle, slow arousal. Men, in turn, complain during polls that women are cold and insensitive, that due to the spread of feminism in today's society, the behavior of modern women is such that any desire to show them any signs of attention disappears. At the same time, the naive belief of men that it is all about the length of the penis, the depth of penetration or the number of intercourse is one of the most common reasons for women's sexual dissatisfaction. The widespread opinion about the need to achieve an orgasm at the same time is also erroneous. On the contrary, it is preferable to have a sequential orgasm - first one and then the other partner.

There is an opinion that a man is polygamous by nature and therefore always strives to possess the maximum number of women, and a woman is more monogamous and therefore can often love one person without needing new sexual partners. This is confirmed by statistics. A survey of several thousand Americans revealed that a woman has, on average, 2 sexual partners during her life, while men have 6. Single men have sex more often and with a greater variety of partners than single women. Episodic, "one-off" sex is most typical for men with a traditional masculine attitude. They explain this from a biological point of view: the function of a man is exhausted immediately after he fertilizes a woman, for a woman, from the moment of conception, everything just begins: she will bear, give birth and feed the child. It is also referred to the fact that the males of most animals are also more persistent sexually and less picky in their choice of partners.

In human society, the most aggressive and assertive male also often achieves success, and by no means the best. “Most women give up not because their passion is strong, but because their weakness is great. That is why enterprising men usually have such success, although they are by no means the most attractive,”he wrote. F. de La Rochefoucauld. A number of such men have a very pronounced psychopathological syndrome of Don Juan. It is associated with a painful hypertrophy of the role of the sexual sphere in human life, when sexuality takes on the character of manic ambition, turns into a kind of sport. Often it is a consequence of internal self-doubt, masking sexual weakness or the inability to build a normal love relationship with a woman. All these complexes are transformed into overcompensation of feelings of their own inferiority, into a striving for self-affirmation due to numerous sexual "victories" over women.

Attitudes towards sex are also significantly influenced by the culture to which men and women belong. If in European Christian culture the sexual intercourse is carefully hidden, then in ancient China it was customary to engage in other affairs during sexual intercourse, including state affairs. In the X-XVIII centuries. sex in the air was widely practiced, when several couples making love talk with each other and with passers-by, and the maids read poems to lovers, treat them to drinks. The presence of an outsider is also typical of Japanese erotic painting.