Changed Her Mind About Getting Married

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“I’m not sure that I want to get married at all, although I was waiting for a proposal from him and was happy when I waited. Now I don’t know. Maybe this is not love at all, although I can’t live without it.”

With these words, one of the clients began a conversation on the eve of her wedding. Young, but tired, pretty, but sad, tormented herself with thoughts of how not to make a mistake that you might have to regret.

Such thoughts in one way or another disturb many brides preparing for the wedding, and almost do not depend on the depth of those feelings that exist between the beloved. Such is the "runaway bride syndrome", in which an unreasonable fear of being disappointed in a loved one, along with the fear of spoiling a wedding drawn to detail in dreams, can generally refuse both the wedding and the relationship.

And relations, as luck would have it, begin to "limp". Touchiness, irritation, and growing dissatisfaction with each other appear. He sees the wedding this way, you differently. He will be satisfied with such a number of guests, you will be different. And that means … Stop. Take it easy. Hear. Both yours and his opinion are correct. It's just that now there is such a period when each of you is doing what he has never done before, and is doing it under the watchful eye of the other. Do not conflict, but listen and interact.

This is not easy, because not everyone manages to come into family relationships, being completely ready for them. Just as one does not become a parent before the birth of a child, gradually becoming one during his upbringing, so it is here. Not "right away" and not "before", but "in time", step by step getting closer, getting to know and accepting each other more and more. For and for each other's sake. Passing through various complexities of the relationship, you become ready for this relationship completely, this is their paradox, and this is their whole point ….

The main thing is to jointly overcome difficulties, understanding their true meaning. After all, relations should not only develop, but also develop. Namely, this is the criterion of readiness for joint happiness.

But how can you do this if the phrase “changed your mind about getting married” applies to you too?

First, you need to recognize that there are such thoughts, and that these thoughts are the result of your intense excitement. It is so? After all, you want the wedding to be better than everyone else, so that this most serious step was a step towards happiness, and not towards divorce, so that the choice would be right? This means that you need not run away, but strive to ensure that your plans come true in the best way. If you need information, there is plenty of it now so as not to make the mistakes of others.

Secondly, it is worth sharing your excitement (and not doubts) with the chosen one, so that his masculine intelligence soothes your excessive feminine emotionality. At the same time, you will also learn his view of what is happening.

And third, treat each joint problem in wedding preparation as a challenge for the two of you to overcome. Indeed, in order to meet, it is enough to love, and in order to be a family, it is also necessary to learn how to make decisions together. As experienced people say, before getting married, young people should at least glue the wallpaper together.

The main thing is to jointly overcome difficulties, understanding their true meaning. After all, relations should not only develop, but also develop

Now, if, with all this, your doubts have remained unchanged, then the wedding can be postponed, having previously consulted a psychologist.

What about that client ?! Their wedding took place safely. They are happy, they have recently given birth to their second child. They send photos and invite them to visit. Nicely.

Artyom Skobelkin

crisis psychologist, reiki therapist.