About Psychological Incest. Seduced Children

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In this article, I want to talk about psychological incest, which, no less dramatically than physical incest, affects the life of a child in his adult life, years later.

Wikipedia: "Incest (Latin incestus -" criminal, sinful "), incest is sexual intercourse between close blood relatives (parents and children, brothers and sisters) [1] [2]. The concept of “close” in different cultures is defined in different ways, although almost all cultures have a taboo incest [3]. Most cases of incest (up to 15%) occur between siblings [4]."

Both physical and psychological incest, both of these forms of incest result in trauma to the individual. The insidiousness of psychological incest lies in the fact that it is implicit and at first glance can be interpreted as caring, overprotective, symbiotic love or neglect of the child. And many parents do not even suspect that they are incestously seducing their own child. The consequences of such seduction are not obvious to the person himself. He simply may not understand why the same negative experience is repeated in his intimate life or in relationships with the opposite sex. The fact that the roots of the problem in childhood are not easy for everyone to admit.

We do not necessarily refer to physical incest as sexual intercourse between mother and son, father (stepfather) and daughter, sister and brother. Physical incest also includes touching intimate areas against the child's will or with his consent. But the child, even if it is a teenager, cannot take responsibility for such permission to touch himself in intimate areas. This is the responsibility of an adult. If incestuous play takes place between brother and sister, it is also under the responsibility of the parents.

The first sign that you have had an incestuous context in your relationship with your parents is an aversion to touching your parent as an adult. You may not remember anything, but disgust every time you accidentally or not accidentally touched your mom or dad, like a beacon suggests that one of the forms of psychological and / or physical incest described below took place in the process of your development. Often such clients say at the reception: “I don’t remember anything like that, but I have a feeling that I had something with my parent”.

There are several forms of psychological incest that can be combined with the physical components of incest, but can also exist on its own. Let's consider them.

Incestuous disregard: when close relatives, ignoring the presence of a child, can commit sexually seductive actions or have frank conversations about sex or, for example, watch frankly erotic films in the presence of a child. Or, when a child hears screams from the bedroom of dad and mom, or when he sees the actual sexual intercourse between a mother and a father, this may turn out to be a hyperstimulus for his not yet formed psyche. He is not yet able to endure such a "dose" of excitement and then later begins to imitate sexual intercourse with toys, a pillow, a blanket or with a doll, brother, sister. And it is for this that the parents punish the child. This leads the child's psyche to splitting: "parents do something that excites and then punish me for it." Young children are often frightened by the primary sex scene: it seems to them that "dad is killing mom and mom is screaming." From this moment, sprouts of fear of intimacy sprout in the child's psyche. At the same time, the child is sexually overstimulated. And such a psychoemotional load seems beyond the power of children. Often, parents do not hide porn products well in the apartment, or the child's access to the Internet may be unlimited. Thus, parents unwittingly invite the child into incest, ignoring the fact that he can see, hear and feel. Also, walking naked in front of children over 3 years old, when the child begins to realize his gender identity, can frighten the child and at the same time arouse in him an interest in the genitals of adults, which in fact is already a sign of incestuous attraction and seduction.

Incestuous care, overprotection, love symbiosis between a parent and a child of the opposite or same sex … This form of psychological incest, such as inviting a child to bed with an adult or one adult, is very common. For example, a boy who sleeps with his mother until adolescence.. My opinion is that by the age of three, it is necessary to wean the child from the parental bed, and it is best not to accustom him to it. Because the sleep phase is actually a phase of loneliness and the child learns to experience it in his own crib. Constant (not one-time) night contact with the body of an adult is the same sexual restimulation for a child, as when walking naked in front of children. This also includes the focus of conversations between parent and child, reduced to jokes on a sexual topic or conversations about genitals, hints of an erotic nature, going into the bathroom and trying to buy an adult already child. The child should be taught to bathe independently as soon as possible. As a rule, a 6-7 year old child can already cope with this task. Children at this time are already beginning to be ashamed of the parent of the opposite sex and should not be ignored. As soon as you notice the first signs of shyness while bathing, teach your child how to wash on their own. But many parents laugh at the embarrassment of their daughter or son and continue to burst into the bathroom.

Incestuous punishment. It is a mixture of psychological and physical incest. All spanking on the buttocks, and even more on the naked, with the removal of the panties - this is the stimulation of the child's genital zone. Moreover, the stimulation is of a sadistic nature. The consequences are sad.

Consider the types of psychological incest.

Incestuous relationships between mother and son, aunt and nephew, grandmother and grandson. In my practice, there were frequent cases when mothers of 8-9 year old sons who were diagnosed with varicocele contacted me. And it was these boys who slept with their mothers in the same bed. And it was these mothers who had bad relations with their husbands or did not have a husband at all.

Wikipedia: "Varicocele (novolat. Varicocele; lat. Varix, varicis - swelling on the veins, ancient Greek. Kēlē - tumor) - enlargement of the veins of the aciniform plexus of the spermatic cord"

What do you think is the psychosomatic component of this disease? Sexual overstimulation of the child from physical contact with the mother's body. By the way, the question of swaddling, washing the baby is also important to touch. Mothers often cannot restrain their love and caress the child's genitals while washing and swaddling, kissing on the genitals, in the ass, as they say literally not in a figurative sense.. A mother who may not have a very good relationship with her husband or the absence of a husband, psychologically switches to his little son and falls with all his unspent love for a man on his child. She may, without realizing, make claims to her little son as a husband and, in the end, “marries” him to herself psychologically. Mom is hyper-controlling, invading, dominant, breaks the will of her son, replacing his needs with her own. She "dictates life" to her boy. Such a mother shares her female problems with her son, as with a man, she can dress in front of a boy or go naked. Such a mother is often against her son communicating with peers, she is jealous of him and does not let go psychologically, keeps him on a short leash, manipulates him with guilt and fear of loss. The boy of such a mother carries fear and anger towards a woman throughout his life. His relationship doesn't work out if he dares to have a relationship with a woman at all. In extreme cases, it is a man aged 30 and over who lives with his mother in the same apartment. Mother and son. And no one else. By the way, such a mother, ignoring her son, can masturbate in such a way that he hears her sighs behind the wall. Or such a mother may, without warning, suddenly enter her son's room without knocking, climb in his things or even live in his room, sleep in his bed or next to him. If there is a dad, then mom and son are a coalition against dad. And a mother can, in a conflict with her husband, seek help from her son, involving him in an adult game. Hatred and jealousy for the daughter-in-law, for the chosen one of the son - this is a symptom of an incestuous mother. Such a boy has no chance to build a healthy relationship with his partner without undergoing long-term psychotherapy "treatment for the mother's virus". And the saddest thing such a mother can lead to her beloved son is to sexual impotence or to the so-called functional impotence at a young age. This relationship is very well shown in the fictional series Bates Motel.

Incestuous relationships between father and daughter, stepfather and stepdaughter, uncle and niece, grandfather and granddaughter … Fathers who love their daughters do an equally "wonderful thing": when the first sexual characteristics begin to form in a girl, the father is so happy and so admires the daughter's breasts that she becomes confused. For example: "Oh, what a beauty you are, my daughter, what kind of breasts you have." Or wondering when her period will go. These are all the seductive words and actions of the father. A daughter may unconsciously respond to this call of a loving daddy and "accidentally" forget to close the bathroom from the inside, or leave a gap in her room while changing clothes. Dad can also forget that the door is not completely closed. Yes, of course, you can't control everything, but involuntarily such "inattention" can be the very incestuous seduction of an implicit format. Frequent story of many girls. A dad who loves until adolescence suddenly becomes either detached or suddenly, for no reason, for no reason beats his once beloved teenage daughter. Dad unconsciously treats his sexual arousal in this way to his daughter, who blossoms before his eyes and becomes sexually attractive to him. These are traumatic facts from the life of a woman, which then unconsciously lead her into a relationship with abusers and rapists. She unwittingly strives for relationships with such dangerous men in order to cope in her unconscious with the pain that once caused her by her father who betrayed her. All sorts of options, when the stepfather harasses the stepdaughter, and the mother pretends that nothing is happening and does not believe her daughter. It can be touching the stepdaughter's chest and stomach, intimidating her, manipulating with fear, which will be even worse if she tells her mother the truth. Or a daughter, for example, sleeps with her father until adolescence. Sooner or later, she will feel her father's excited genitals with her skin. And this can happen completely unnoticed by the father. Yes, and the daughter can "hide" an incestuous episode deep in the subconscious. And here's to you: "I don't remember anything like that, but it seems something happened." The dad, who hits his daughter on the bare bottom with a belt, makes a request for incest with her. All seductive, exciting, violent actions on the part of the father's figure lead either to hysteria, hysterical personality formation, or to complete “frostbite” of feelings and sensations and frigidity of an adult woman. Vaginismus can also be attributed to the consequences of incest.

Wikipedia: Vaginismus is a condition that adversely affects a woman's ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, as well as tampon insertion and penetration during gynecological examination. This is the result of an involuntary contraction of the pubococcygeal muscle. The involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles occurs unexpectedly, which makes any vaginal penetration, including sexual, very painful or completely impossible. This is an extreme form of painful intercourse.

Women with this condition cannot control this spasm.

Incestuous relationship between brother and sister

This is a fairly common form of incest between siblings. An older sibling or one who is stronger can carry out both violent acts of a sexual nature under pressure and manipulation of fear. Or, by mutual agreement, both siblings commit erotic games. At the same time, dad and mom either ignore or do not notice. This can happen if siblings have erotic material in the public domain (books, CDs, the Internet, or the father and mother are not very puzzled so that their children do not witness their sex scenes or traces of intimate contact between parents. The parents' bedroom must be closed from the inside. And children should not hear anything, otherwise they will try to repeat it, imitating adults.

Sex education should not be done in a visual way, like parents. Mother and father should talk with children of the same gender, carefully informing children about sex life in an accessible language that does not seduce the child, in an accessible language for his age. The safest way is when a child learns about sex from a conversation with a parent, and not from eavesdropping or spying, and even more so from porn films or from classmates. Such sources of information can lead to unwanted experimentation between siblings. Subsequently, this can form in a person a persistent fear of intimacy and / of problems of a sexual nature, to which promiscuity can also be attributed.

Wikipedia: Promiscuite (from Lat. Prōmiscuus "indiscriminately", "general") - promiscuous, unrestricted sexual intercourse with many partners. The term is used in two different meanings: to describe the intended form of sexual relations in primitive human society before the formation of families, and to describe the promiscuous sexual relations of an individual.

In conclusion, I want to say that the erotic attraction of a parent to his child, a child to a parent (during the oedipal period) cannot be called abnormal, since there is a lot of eroticism and tenderness in the touch of a mother to a child from the first days. Tenderness is erotic in itself. Therefore, one cannot say that the attraction of a mother to a child is abnormal. And the attraction of a father to his daughter in adolescence is a very common reaction of an adult man to a young girl's body. The trouble is when the parent's sexual attraction to the child is out of the zone of awareness and proper acceptance. And if the attraction is not realized by the parent or the parent is frightened by his attraction to the child, then he commits psycho-traumatic actions in relation to his own child. The child, by its very nature, learns about the world, including eroticism and sex, through the parents. And any girl aged 5-7 is in love with her dad - he is the first man she met in her life, and therefore childish eroticism is quite normal. Mom is that first beloved woman for every boy and therefore attraction to the mother is the norm. And how important it is for the parent to be conscious and carefully deal with the child's attraction and love, not to seduce the child or frighten him. Therefore, in the context of the child's sexual education, the parent's awareness and his acceptance of himself, his own eroticism, and then the child is very important. When we are aware, we do not hurt ourselves or others.