2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Many people are familiar with betrayal, it too often overtakes us in everyday life. The difference in our perception and reality opens up an opportunity for us to look at our inner problems and old wounds. What is betrayal? This is when someone uses your trust, you open up to him, and this person uses the information received against you. It is worth noting that revenge and betrayal are not the same thing. They take revenge for something, one might even say that this is an almost equivalent "answer", and in case of betrayal, we get something that we do not deserve at all.
You can imagine this: betrayal is a trap into which you were lured, only you, of course, were not told that it was a trap, rather it was disguised as a fun party. Some people have not developed the ability to "filter" such people, others are always suspicious and cannot trust anyone at all.
When a person begins to trust too quickly, failing to understand the character and intentions of the other, it is worth thinking about what is happening and what the person does himself, how he protects himself. If betrayal is repeated several times in a row, we can say that the person himself puts his hand to what is happening, perhaps there is a hidden benefit (it is also called secondary benefit) in being in the position of the victim. A person may not understand this at all and believe that he is kind, sympathetic, trying to be pleasant, but he is irresistibly drawn to people who use his psychological characteristics.
Many victims of betrayal may simply misunderstand the reactions of others, or they may be upset that they were not treated the way they wanted. “I entrusted him with THIS! And he doesn't appreciate it at all,”and the like. But that's not all: sometimes the victims of betrayal experience much more pleasure from the fact of the betrayal and the experience of this betrayal than from the usual calm and harmonious life. And this is too pleasant feeling of pleasure to give it up voluntarily and too strong psychological defenses can protect him. The result is simple enough: a person suffers from repeated betrayal, is afraid to trust someone completely. But at the same time, he passionately desires and strives for this, sometimes he even provokes others to betray. They can't really truly trust.
Often, unconsciously, they try to hide their mistrust, sometimes behind selfishness. Even when they know about their problem (or at least guess) they are not ready to do something about it, they do not seek to get rid of it or at least somehow change it. And all why? Because the symptom brings them too many secondary benefits that cannot be denied.
Such people are like gamblers. They are ready to place bets and lose again and again, whether they win or not (some really strive to win, but only as an excuse for their addiction), the very process of experiencing emotions during gambling is more important to them. Also, people try to maintain their super gullibility, it allows someone to remain offended at everyone and everything, someone receives dividends and compassion in the next betrayal, everyone finds something of their own in this process.
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