Instructions For Creating And Maintaining Dependent Relationships In The Family

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

As you know, dependent relationships are strong and durable. There, however, there is little happiness, mutual respect, freedom, interest, creativity, and indeed life in general. And if you ignore it, then, quite, you can live. But if these values are important to you in life, then the points below will help you navigate and revise your relationship. And when you find addicted tendencies, stop their development and channel your energy to build healthy partnerships.

So what needs to be done to make the relationship more and more addictive? Just keep going:

1. Hide your feelings, especially negative ones. Never get angry and, moreover, do not talk about your inconvenience. Endure whatever you don't like. You should always be in a good mood and happy. Save your partner with all your might from unpleasant feelings because of you. Never do anything that can upset him, offend him, catch his pride, and God forbid, hurt him. His feelings are your responsibility.
2. You should have everything in common, no personal space. Mutual friends, free time only together, even if you don't want to, a common password on the computer. You should not have your own opinion either, since you are one and must think the same way. Borders are bad and embarrassing, you love each other.
3. Your partner's happiness should always come first for you. And better on a single one, so it is more reliable. If your partner does not share your interests, then they must be abandoned without delay. Ignore your needs if your partner doesn't approve of them. Your Personal Important will wait. And is it really worth it?
4. Having your little secrets and doing something without asking is a betrayal. Be accountable for every moment of your life. And, of course, you have every right to demand his report: what he is doing, where he is, with whom he is. Call more often so that every second you know his movements and train of thought. It would be nice to check the phone and social networks, well, just in case. This is not control; this is concern. You just miss and think about him all the time.
5. Sex should always be given, even when you don't want to. Because if you don't give, he will go to another, and you will remain at an empty trough, and you will blame yourself for ruining happiness with your own hands. If there is no orgasm, imitate. Never talk about it or how he can help you have fun. Wait until you figure it out.
6. Telepathy is the basis of communication. Loves, then guess. If you haven't guessed, take offense at once, hold the defense longer, let him suffer. For example, you always know what is best for him. Clarifying relationships, clarifying what is not clear is a waste of time.
7. Close your eyes to any disrespectful attitude towards you. The main thing is to convince himself that he does all this only out of love and did not mean anything bad - he hits, insults, does not help, does not keep his words, laughs, says that something is wrong with your head, with thoughts that you nervous hysterics and need to be treated, and so on.
8. The main thing is to convince your partner that he is helpless and nowhere without you. Without your love, he will be lost. And no one will love him like that. And only you know what he needs to be happy. And in general, the more a man becomes a son, the more reliable he is with you. From this moment on, you can already begin to express complaints, because at this stage of the relationship they are practically safe.
9. You don't need to look after yourself. And there is no need to develop either. This is for those who are still lonely and want to get attention. In general, a lonely loser is immediately visible, they look good, they smile, their eyes are burning. They try. And you don't need it, because you have already achieved everything. A man is nearby - you can relax, because this is the main event of your life. In development there is a danger that it may cease to suit, as it is.
10. All your requests should sound like complaints. You should be genuinely outraged that your partner does not meet your expectations and does not meet your needs. He must! And the point. One must want to change the other. Because it is because of him that you have no happiness. He should change, not you!
11. And the last one. Never take responsibility for your happiness and the quality of your life on yourself! Because your relationship, built on the above principles, can crack severely.

In this kind of relationship, there are benefits, otherwise people would not support them. For example, security. The main thing is that the other person is always there, I am not alone and someone needs me. And no matter how a person cries, suffers, and does not complain about his relationships and life, often, he does not dare to change anything. Because living differently is even worse. And this, though complex, is understandable, most often absorbed from childhood, a model of relationships. To abandon it is an exit into complete obscurity. And there is a meeting with loneliness, shame, a sense of betrayal of parents, their values and way of life, and fear of independent life. The severity of the fact that there is no one to share responsibility with, and no one to blame for their suffering, because this is completely your choice. The choice of another life, your life and what it will be, already depends only on you.

To decide on such changes, it is necessary to have an environment that can support, also the presence of internal resources, something that you can rely on in yourself: knowledge, skills, experience of achievements. And of course, during this period, psychotherapy can be of great support.