2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
About the fear of the good. Or about the habit of worrying when he realized that everything was too good.
The other day I received an unexpected gift. Joy knew no bounds: I cried and laughed at the same time. All day she chirped like a bird, and in the evening she tracked the return of a familiar symptom - intimidation with the consequences of the joy she received. Wild anxiety, waiting for a bill from the Universe for the joy received, so that you no longer think about good things. Even regret it, because everything was calm until good things happened. After several hours of merciless anxiety, I asked myself the question "What am I overwhelmed with if I cannot contain the good inside me on an ongoing basis?" The ability to linger in joy, to endure it calmly is blocked by the child-parent model of building relationships with the world. If from childhood the attitude "you laugh a lot, you will cry a lot" is learned, in adulthood we will confirm it, guessing in God, the Universe, the Universe the face of a mother or father. The parent says: "Good - little by little, for good you have to pay, do so that I was pleased with you." Growing up, we project onto the Creator (the Universe, the Universe, the quantum field) parental expectations, we believe that he punishes for disobedience, doses good, and waits for payment for him. How do we know this? It's just that my parents did it. And if we assume that God does not need any of our payment, except sincere gratitude? That he would like to know the experience of the joy of earthly life through our body, thoughts, emotions? How do I know this? Nowhere, it's just so much easier to live with beliefs that expand rather than limit. We resent the world for the lack of desired changes, while the absence of change may be the highest manifestation of his attention and care for us. So that we do not drown in anxiety, do not feel guilty, so that we do not regret our choice. Moving to a level where happiness and joy is a calm, sustained norm means expanding to more different events. To cultivate the ability not to associate troubles with paying for our happiness, because when we become happy, we do not become bad or deserve punishment. We do not make other people unhappy, because everyone is the blacksmith of his own happiness / unhappiness. Happiness does not deserve bowing in church, ritualizing suffering, but is brought up by the ability to hold on to moments of joy, gratitude for them, appropriating the right to have something just like that, without retribution. This is true for the child-parent relationship model, but strange in adult life. From the outside it looks like this: wait, God, I will suffer now, devalue your gift, create a background expectation of pussies around me … huh, I will be offended, because again everything is not like normal people. After that, will the terrible fee pass me? You're already paying! Only nobody issued an invoice. What to do? Learn to hold on to joy. For a person who is used to waiting for reckoning, this is almost like an asceticism that requires volitional efforts. To pour joy through the body like butter. Notice his presence in everyday, routine, ordinary. Every time something good happens, joyful to say to myself: "This is my norm. I fill myself with happiness to the brim until it begins to overflow and fall on others. This is my contract with God."
Thank you for the Creator looking at you to say, "You can endure even more joy. Take it, I do not mind." Be happy.
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