2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- I need help. I do not deduce. I'm spinning like a squirrel. Work, study, child, everyday life. You also need to take care of your parents. It feels like I do not live, but as a robot I just execute the program. I'm tired. What should I do?
- Yes, you do a lot for others. And it really takes a lot of effort. How can you take care of yourself?
- What? About myself? What is it like? - laughs with sad eyes.
- You can take care in different ways, is that what you like to do?
- I don’t know … To have a rest, to read a book. Well, like everyone else, I guess.
- When was the last time you, for example, bought yourself some tasty treat, so that it’s just for yourself? Not for the child, not for the parents. Did you buy it for yourself and eat it yourself?
- Haha, does that count as a concern?
- Sure! Any action, even the most insignificant one, that brings pleasure - can give strength and nourish.
“But I don’t have time for that. That's what I'm talking about: home, study, work …
- What will happen if a child sits with his grandmother for a couple of hours on a day off, and you go for a manicure?
* thinks
- Yes, probably, it's okay - he answers hesitantly and confusedly.
“Then I'll ask again: how else can you take care of yourself?
* with enthusiasm and animation
- Oh well, so I can mean a lot! For example, today I will come home early, and we will eat quietly alone! And I also wanted to update my haircut for a long time, I'll sign up for a salon!
This dialogue is based on more than one consultation. Many clients come with similar requests. Apparently, this is our "female share" - to give all of ourselves to the family, the child. And worries for oneself - according to the residual principle. As a rule, nothing remains. Therefore, you have to learn to take care of yourself again.
I myself am the same. This has always been difficult for me. It seems like "not tired - not a mother!" This means that there are no self-care, time alone and meetings with girlfriends.
I created limitations for myself. She didn't let her needy part be heard. After all, this is a manifestation of weakness. Well, and also such a convenient role of the victim: “I don’t have time for anything, have pity on me”. Instead of taking control and organizing refreshments for yourself.
But thanks to personal therapy, I began to pay more attention to what I want. And now, at 32, I went to a manicure for the first time. It remains now to transfer sports to the category of taking care of yourself, and finally go to the gym!
Therefore, dear women! Take care of yourself tonight.
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