2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Have you ever met someone who seemed to have a pathological need to please others? According to Karen Horney, this behavior is associated with a neurotic need for love and approval. In her book Introspection (1942) Horney presented a theory describing various types of neurotic behavior resulting from the overuse of problem-solving strategies triggered by underlying anxiety and aimed at satisfying inadequate needs. These include the need for power, prestige and love.
Karen Horney's theory
Psychoanalyst Karen Horney has developed one of the most famous theories of neurosis. She believes that neurosis arises from anxiety caused by problems in interpersonal relationships. Her theory suggests that the strategies commonly used to deal with anxiety can be used so often that over time they begin to replace needs.
According to Horney, in children, basic anxiety (and therefore neurosis) can lead to a variety of consequences, including “… direct or indirect dominance, indifference, strange behavior, lack of respect for the individual needs of the child, lack of real control, belittling relationship, excessive admiration or lack of it, lack of warmth in a relationship, having to side with one of the parents in their disagreements, too much or no responsibility, overprotection, isolation from other children, injustice, discrimination, failure to keep promises, hostile atmosphere, etc. etc."
The 10 neurotic needs allocated to her can be divided into three main categories:
Needs that bring us closer to others. These neurotic needs cause people to seek approval and recognition from others; such people are often described as assertive or obsessive because they seek approval and love.
Needs that alienate us from others. It is neurotic needs that give rise to hostility and antisocial behavior. People in whom they predominate are often called cold, indifferent, detached.
Needs that set us against others. These neurotic needs lead not only to hostility, but also to the desire to control other people. These people are often described as difficult, bossy, and unkind.
So what makes these problem-solving strategies neurotic? As Horney argues, it is the overuse of one or more of these interpersonal styles.
Neurotic needs
In her book Introspection, Horney identified 10 neurotic needs:
Neurotic need for affection and approval. It includes the desire to be loved, the desire to please other people and meet their expectations. People with this type of disability are extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism, and fear anger or hostility from others.
Neurotic need for a leading partner. It includes the need to focus on your partner. People with this type of need have an extremely strong fear of being abandoned by their partners. Often these people attach an exaggerated meaning to love and believe that having a partner will solve all the problems in their life.
Neurotic need for clear limits. People with this need prefer to remain invisible. They are unpretentious and used to be content with little. They do not desire material things, often belittling their own needs and underestimating their own talents and abilities.
Neurotic need for power. Those in whom this need prevails seek power for their own good. They tend to admire strength and despise weakness, at any opportunity they will take advantage of the other person or begin to dominate him. These people are afraid of limitations, helplessness, and out-of-control situations.
Neurotic need to exploit others. These people view others only in terms of what can be obtained from them. They pride themselves on their ability to use other people and often focus on manipulating others in order to achieve their desired goals, including power, money, or sex.
Neurotic need for public recognition. Individuals with a need for prestige evaluate themselves and others in terms of public recognition. Material wealth, personal characteristics, professional achievements, and even close relationships are assessed on the basis of this parameter. Such people are often afraid of getting into an awkward situation or losing social status.
Neurotic need for admiration for oneself. Individuals with a neurotic need for self-admiration are mostly narcissistic egoists who have an exaggerated self-image. They want to be admired, based on this opinion, and not what they really are.
Neurotic need for ambition. According to Horney, because of basic anxiety, people force themselves to achieve more and more. These people are afraid of failure and feel a constant need to accomplish more compared to others, and sometimes even compared to their own successes.
Neurotic need for self-sufficiency and independence. These people have a loner mentality. They tend to distance themselves from others in order to avoid developing attachment or dependence on others.
Neurotic need for perfection and irrefutability. Such people constantly strive for complete infallibility. A common feature of this neurotic need is the search for their own shortcomings in order to quickly overcome or hide them.
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