2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Forgiveness is the path to freedom and, first of all, to your personal inner freedom, and not to some abstract one.
Because it is we who bind ourselves with restrictions and set up fences out of resentment.
Much has been written about grievances on the Internet and therefore I will not repeat myself, but what I want to say in this post, if the grievance is not lived through, if you do not forgive yourself in this situation (i.e., accept the situation itself, forgive a person, etc.), she will live, drawing in your energy and attracting similar people to you (who hurt you), creating a circle after circle repeating events, only each time the circle will decrease (that is, the events will become more frequent), and will increase in strength …
There are many techniques for forgiveness, from the candle "For your enemies" to coming to a psychologist / psychotherapist and, of course, for a conscious analysis of the problem with a specialist, but if this is not possible, I can offer a good technique for writing a letter of forgiveness to the offender.
Take any piece of paper and express your feelings for the abuser. You can start a letter as usual - with a greeting and move on to how you live, for example:
"Good afternoon, ….! I live well (or badly, or so-so …), but I constantly come across people who remind me of you and ….."
Next, you describe your feelings, experiences:
- it hurts (it hurts when you..)
- I'm annoyed …
- I'm scared….
- I am angry….
- I hate….
- I feel guilty….
- I'm afraid…. …
And you can feel free to use expressions:), write what the person did:
- you betrayed me;
- cheated … etc
When you're done with a torrent of resentment and anger, write about the good (resource):
- and at the same time, I remember when you …
This point can be difficult, but even in the seemingly hopeless negative, you can find a ray of light
Further in the letter of responsibility:
"I accept full responsibility for what has happened (is happening) in our relationship …"
Further forgiveness:
"I forgive myself for everything, for my actions, for my thoughts, for my actions that led to this situation."
"I apologize to you for …. My hatred, anger, etc …"
You can put an end to this.
What to do with the letter? Many people advise to burn it.
But I want to offer another option, which was recommended to me by my colleague Natasha Kuzmina:
- re-read what you have written;
- now in the letter, wherever you addressed a person, replace "You" with "I" (for example: "you set me up", it will turn out "I myself..");
- read what happened, if immediately on some points there is an understanding, when I did it with myself, then we exhale and cross out;
- we fold the letter and carry it with us, periodically returning and working through point by point (something that was not initially understood)
And remember, while you will spread rot on yourself, betray yourself, lie to yourself, etc., others will do the same to you. Because the World shows us ourselves in the person of those around us.
Good luck to YOU in finding Love for Yourself !!!
With love to you and the World, Roxana Yashchuk (c)
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About Resentment And Forgiveness. Flies From Cutlets
The mouthpiece of the Universal Reason - the Internet buzzed all our ears that it is not good to hold an offense, and we should forgive. I largely agree that it is a useful thing, offended and hidden avengers are not the most pleasant people, both for themselves and for others.
Once Again About Forgiveness
For many years I was tormented by the need to forgive, which various clever books, public opinion and Christian morality instilled in me pathetically. It seemed to me that this was some kind of universal ambush, because I could not forgive some of the characters and the feeling of guilt grew successfully - well, how can it be, because smart people write, but I can't.
ABOUT THE FORMS, ABOUT FAREWELL AND FORGIVENESS
You see - the time of the stars is passing, and it seems it's time to part forever … … And I only now understand how it should be love and pity and forgive and say goodbye. Olga Berggolts "Indian Summer" I have been living for a long time - I’ll get fifty dollars soon, but I still don’t know how to say goodbye.
Alice Miller "The Lie Of Forgiveness"
A child who is mistreated and neglected is left completely alone in the darkness of confusion and fear. Surrounded by arrogant and hating people, deprived of the right to speak about their feelings, deceived in love and trust, despised, mocked at their pain, such a child is blind, lost and completely at the mercy of ruthless and insensitive adults.
