Tolerance To Humiliation

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Tolerance to humiliation is when I am humiliated, and I consider it natural and correct, that is, I internally agree with this and continue the process of humiliation already within myself.

For example, someone said unflattering about how I spend my free time. A person who does not have this tolerance will be indignant in the "what is your business?" Style. The other, who is tolerant, will feel shame or guilt and push himself even more.

Tolerance arises as a result of trying to avoid conflict and rejection, and is a way of psychological protection of oneself from a new attack from outside, that is, according to the principle "I will be comfortable for you and you will not tell me nasty things." That is, I would rather attack myself than rebuff you.

For a weak little man, rebuffing his parents is an unsafe act, in a situation where his whole life depends on his parents. It's not safe to fight back against someone you depend on. This is what employers and those in power actually miraculously use, as well as spouses who have dependents in their care. And of course the parents. This is actually called an abuse of power.

But such a model of behavior, that is, attitude towards oneself, is fixed as a rather functional way of protection, and is often used where there is no longer dependence. For example, how do I depend on a friend? Or how do I depend on my spouse if in fact I can provide for myself? Or even more so as I depend on my grandmother at the entrance?

Vulnerability comes directly from the phenomenon of tolerance. If I attack myself, then I have an eternally non-healing wound of my own inferiority inside me, and if someone just raise their voice in my address, look askance - and that's it, I'm already mortally wounded. In fact, in such a situation, a person does not protect himself, but the other from his indignation as a reaction to disrespect for himself. Not a lawyer for myself, but for another who attacks me from the height of his conceit. In fact, this attacker did not ask him to justify and defend, moreover, if he has enough aggression to attack, then he can defend himself, without your help. The rescue of drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves.

It prevents myself from defending myself, as usual, a bad experience, where my indignation was suppressed by those in power. And a person with such experience does not risk checking again whether he will be able to defend himself or not, or somehow train his self-defense skill. Added to this is the belief that I am really dull shit. And this is where it is worth remembering the parable of the two wolves. If you feed a wolf named "dull shit", then it grows.