2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In practical work with clients, I come across attitudes common to many people, which become an obstacle to change, and which can be circumvented by simply raising awareness of what is happening.
1. If it is hard for me to move and I put a lot of effort, then I go to the goal correctly. The harder the path and the more efforts I put in, the faster I will reach the goal
This attitude creates the illusion of progress towards the goal simply due to the fact that it is difficult for a person. The very content of the activity, the number of hours spent for specific practical actions will no longer play a role. It can be hard all day for absolutely unproductive activities.
Exit option. Provide specific measurable indicators of results.
2. Worrying about the problem, I will solve it faster. If I stop worrying, then I will stop solving it and change something.
Worrying about a problem creates the illusion that you are solving it. In fact, it just takes time. Accepting the problem without unnecessary emotional coloring will allow you to solve it more soberly and effectively. Most of us accept rain, as it's just rain, but that doesn't stop us from opening our umbrella.
Exit option. Taking the problem for granted, refusing to search for the guilty and the accusations themselves.
3. I will solve the problem by understanding myself. (Therefore, I will understand myself for a long time instead of finding what I want)
Self-analysis often leads to deep digging in the psyche. And since the system of consciousness is closed on itself, you will not see anything new in it. The ego will gladly point out all the shortcomings and disadvantages and select the necessary argumentation with specific negative examples, forgetting about the positive ones.
Exit option. Conduct more social activity, attendance at various developmental events, presentations, conferences. It charges much more than digging into oneself, and, in addition, you can learn new information about how people work and live now, what techniques they use, how they organize the process of achieving their goals. After all, where will new views and behavioral skills come from?
4. People who have achieved success have some specific, special qualities that I do not have, and that must be unraveled. (Until I figure it out, I won't be able to achieve what I want myself)
After people meet successful people in their area of interest, they share with me their impressions of how simple they are. People expect to see super-organized machines running like clockwork - the image created in the movies, or tough and ferocious businessmen. The fact that a person appears in front of them in simple home sportswear against the backdrop of a multimillion-dollar house puts ordinary people in a stupor - they are the same!
Exit option. Claim more and achieve it boldly.
5. Assessing your feelings about the situation instead of assessing the situation itself
Situations associated with where a person, as it seems to him, has been offended, hurt, are evaluated primarily emotionally. The situation itself may be neutral or even beneficial, but subjective feelings about it may become unpleasant due to your subjective characteristics. When transferring internal sensations to the situation as a whole, it distorts the perception of the situation itself. If a person felt humiliation or guilt, then he will transfer it to the entire situation and to its objects, after which he decides exactly the question of his humiliation / guilt, and not a question related to a specific factual situation.
Exit option. For starters, just logically separate your negative feelings from the situation. Say to yourself "stop", take a break. Calm down, then decide. And if you get to a specialist, then remove the non-ecological reaction to an object or situation in general.
6. If I get well-being in life, then I will stop developing. If I am happy with everything, then why would I change something.
People often use motivation “from” a problem for their development and have forgotten how to act by inspiration, desire, interest and love. Forgot how you can discover an endlessly interesting world, because there are many attractive things in it. Development through motivation "Towards" the result and something that inspires you opens up more and more brightly with personal development. And this development ultimately happens much faster. One has only to open more to the world and it will open more to you.
Exit option: open up to something new!
7. I have too little time to do everything
The feeling of lack of time is exacerbated if a person is in a state of guilt, blame, humiliation. Internal disassembly creates the illusion of activity. But nothing happens outside. In addition to the psychological aspect, there is, of course, the social one, since we mainly clog our time with unnecessary tasks, just vanity, meaningless pastime.
Exit option. To begin with, find out what are the meanings of your next period of life, what priorities will be in it, what are the goals in connection with this. Do it in writing. Chip big goals down to specific goals and plan with a specific time allotted to accomplish them. Then it turns out that even for very, very many purposes, you can allocate time.
8. Having reached this intermediate, I will gain something really important and important for me
These intermediate goals sound like “having more money, I can find a girlfriend,” “after recovering, I can take up a career.” Although in reality a person is afraid of the very life to which he is drawn and what it will open, therefore he goes to achieve the secondary, fearing the main thing.
Exit option. Look at what you really want and don't put it off. Accept this, only then will the real movement towards life begin.
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