2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Most often, we create expectations about other people, we do this almost every day, so it is not difficult to "catch" and find out for ourselves this type of expectation.
But we create so many other expectations about other phenomena in our lives that we are not even aware of their existence and their limiting influence on our lives
Here are some examples of expectations that affect our lives, but often we do not recognize them as an obstacle:
- Expectations about money, their amount. Personally, I quite simply identified these expectations and let go. We all live in an era of consumption, and this is neither good nor bad, it is a fact, a reality in life. On the one hand, there are many advantages that so many opportunities, goods, inventions are available to us now that people could not have thought of fifty or a hundred years ago. On the other hand, the era of consumption dictates to us the level of income, and especially the spending that we must make in order to supposedly feel happy.
My personal discovery was that you can, for example, travel without spending huge sums. And also the fact that you could quit your job and pursue your own projects, and at the same time spend rather modest amounts on your living.
- Expectations about the future. The pictures, images that you create about those events that, in your opinion, should happen in the future, are nothing more than fantasy. This is another frame into which you force yourself, not allowing life to lead you, offering a variety of possibilities every minute. There is only the present moment and trust in what can happen, otherwise, you will constantly be painfully hitting the limits of your expectations about future events and are intolerant of manifestations that are incompatible with your desires and vision.
- Expectations about the past. Experience gives a lot and can solve many problems similar to those that have already arisen in your life. But the world is not static and changes every second, because the experience that was useful to you yesterday is already becoming useless today. This is very important information to learn about relationships.
There is no guarantee that your new partners will not behave the same way as the old ones, but even then they do not deserve to be put in strict expectations. Any experience is a baggage, a load, and if it interferes with the entry of something new into your life, it must be released, no matter how important and significant it may be for you. And then your past will not affect either your present or our future.
In most cases, the emotional pain that we experience about past relationships consists precisely of expectations that did not meet expectations. Internal trauma is intensified even more by the presence in it of pleasant, “sweet” memories, which are the most powerful and meaningful, as they are supported emotionally. As difficult as it is to let go of memories, this step is inevitable, because the emotional pain will be fueled precisely by the combination of memories multiplied by the pain of unfulfilled expectations. We will learn to let go of unfulfilled expectations in the last chapter.
- Expectations about time, timeliness. “Moscow was not built right away,” everyone knows this expression, but at the same time they show impatience when they expect instantaneous results - activities, efforts, aspirations. Any changes can be compared to carrying out a repair - in order to start it, you need to create a mess, clear the area for the preparation of work. And even with the most excellent craftsmen, your premises will not shine with novelty and cleanliness in one day - everything needs time and the necessary efforts.
- The most unusual expectation from which I would like to warn you, is the expectation of love. Oddly enough, this is one of the most dangerous expectations, although love is one of the most wonderful feelings that can happen in our life.
The expectation of love, the confidence that it is about to come, sometimes takes up so much living space: thoughts, states, that for love itself, in fact, there is no longer enough space! The worst thing is that while waiting for love, you create several dozen more expectations about your future partner, although, perhaps, a person with such criteria does not even exist. And if it does, then perhaps you will be disappointed with its shortcomings, for which you did not create expectations.
No one will ever love us for waiting for love, so fill this inner space with anything until it comes: travel, reading, communication, finding your destiny, finally. Let the new relationship be an unexpected, but quite welcome surprise, an event in your life.
An important indicator of self-worth is living without expectations. It is not so easy to realize when we are not used to living in the present, feeling and tasting every second of every priceless moment. This is the magic of life, which we can see only through the prism of our own worth.
Elena Osokina (c)
An excerpt from the book "Internal Emotional Contradiction or Why Does a Relationship Get Crowded?"
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