Mysticism And The Illusion Of Control

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How do I feel about mysticism myself? Once upon a time, I spent a lot of time fortune-telling, in a variety of ways, buying books on this topic. Bursts of such activity occurred during periods of falling in love. There was a lot of anxiety on the topics: "Does he like me?", "Will we meet?", "How will it end?"

I wanted to get some kind of confidence, or even better guarantees, for these purposes, cards were scattered. (Solitaire was especially popular with me - it gave a completely unambiguous answer "yes" or "no") I took the results of fortune-telling very seriously, I could well change the tactics of behavior, if the "Book of Changes" advised me so. Over time, with experience, the realization began to come that neither a horoscope nor a fortune-telling could at all give a real (or at least close to real) picture of what was happening.

Nowadays, talking about mysticism causes irritation or boredom. And to my final disappointment in the mystical vision of the world, I was moved by two stories.

The first happened during my student days. I had a friend, Ira. She met with Tolya, a very caring and very anxious young man. And every time Ira went home after meeting him, he persistently asked her: "As soon as you get home, call me right away, I'm worried." Once I went to her, sat, chatted about my own, about the girl's. Suddenly, in the midst of a lively conversation, the cell phone rings. Ira jumped up: "Damn, I forgot to call Tolyan." She took the call and answered in a cheerful tone: “Hello! You will not believe, I just walked through the door and just got the phone, call you."

Once I got into a conversation with Tolya, and he told me about his "special" connection with Ira, that he "feels even at a distance" what was happening to her, and more than once it happened that he called her exactly at the moment when she just entered the threshold of the apartment.

Since then, when, in confirmation of a special, big and true love, they tell me about a mystical connection with my beloved, which manifests itself: “It often happens that I call him, and at the same moment he was going to call me”; The story of Tolya and Ira always comes to my mind. Honestly, I do not voice my doubts, it is fraught with skepticism about great love. At first glance, it seems that the story is not about mysticism at all, but about deception. But if you think about it: a person is waiting for a call from his beloved, worried why it took so long, cannot stand it and calls himself. And he hears in response: "I was just about to call." And this is not the first time. And then either the person realizes that they have forgotten about him and now he is being deceived (and then one has to face a lot of negative feelings: disappointment, resentment, anxiety, helplessness, because if they lie about this, then it is quite possible that in many other things, support disappears from under your feet). Or the defense mechanisms of denial are turned on and the wonderful thought "Yes, I can feel it!" And now, instead of all these unpleasant feelings (see above), a feeling of goodness, one's chosenness, and confidence that such a “special” love is definitely beyond any threat. False confidence, of course.

The second story happened about a year later. My distant relative talks about her special, mystical connection with an adult son: “He once had a serious accident, almost crashed to death … And at that very moment in my hands the mirror shattered into pieces! You imagine?!!" This story inspired me very much, but it became interesting how she determined that “at THIS moment”, and I ask the question: “Did your son call you right after the accident?” She was embarrassed: "No, so as not to worry me, he did not say anything about the accident, I only found out a month later."

The charm of history melted away, I did not elaborate further, so as not to push the person against the wall. And it is so clear that in a month it is very difficult to remember the day when you broke the mirror, not that the exact time.

What is this story about for me - about the unwillingness to admit the loss of control over the life of another person, the inability to accept my powerlessness in the situation.

One of my clients comes to mind, his daughter is already a student, she began to live her "adult" life, and is in no hurry to devote her father to the problems that arise, probably, she successfully solves them on her own. But her father says to her, "If you have any trouble, I will immediately feel, my heart will ache." This is not only a manipulation of health. He really believed in his words, regaining control over his daughter's life, or rather the illusion of control.

Many people have a hard time enduring uncertainty, their powerlessness in a situation, anxiety of expectation. And it's easier to jump over these feelings, build a magic bridge and go through mystical foresight to confidence: "I feel everything will be fine!" In fact, more often, of course, it sounds like "I feel everything is bad!". This is not so important, the main thing is to avoid the uncertainty of expectations.

The mystical awareness of what is happening, of course, carries other functions for the human psyche, not only the illusion of control. Perhaps I will consider this topic in another article.