2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We make hundreds of choices every day. We choose who and when to call, which kindergarten to send the child to, whether to change jobs or stay at the old one. And the more serious the decision, the more we feel the burden of responsibility! Having made this or that life step, we may not even be aware of it, but act according to a certain scenario. Someone will say - "This is fate"! But who writes this fate, the scenario of our behavior, and can we change it? Is it worth doing it?
How is the life scenario formed?
The formation of our life scenario begins even before our birth. Even before conception, our mother decides that her son will grow up and work as a firefighter, and her daughter will become a nurse. The future father dreams that his children will continue the family business, develop it and pass it on to their children in the future.
Sometimes, we are even given a name in honor of a grandfather or grandmother, or a relative who was successful, in the opinion of the parents, which also affects the future of the child.
But the most important in shaping the script are its first five years. It is during this period that he learns what can and cannot be done, what is good and what is bad. Already in such early years, in the subconscious of the child it is fixed at what age he should get married, what his wife / husband will be like, what he needs to work hard, what music to listen to and much more. And all this is imposed on us by "caring" elders with their moral teachings and upbringing. Therefore, no matter how much effort the teacher spends explaining to the boy that you cannot offend girls, it’s all in vain if he sees dad beating mom.
Another source that influences the formation of a life scenario is the attitude of peers and relatives to the child. Children who receive the amount of love and support they need, as a rule, grow up to be quite successful people. And the children who only heard from their relatives “who did you go to, we didn’t have such people in our family…”, “but my daughter at your age was already able to do a lot of things…”, receive a negative attitude towards themselves … It is especially hard for children who were not desired by their parents.
The formation of a life scenario takes place before the age of 21, during this period we will have time to "pick up" a lot of all sorts of attitudes, and in most cases, negative ones.
And so, the main factors influencing the formation of a life scenario are the following:
- Parental behavior … This factor is one of the most important. It influences the formation of the future family model, attitude towards others and oneself. If the parental attitudes are too negative, then the child chooses the path "I will not be like that", but this does not mean that he acts differently.
- Parental attitude towards their children. This factor is important in the first years of a child's life, and affects his success in the future. If the parents treated the child as a loser, there is a 90% chance that he will build his life like a loser.
- Peer relationship to the child. This factor is important from early childhood to adolescence. Thanks to the relationship with other children, the personality forms an I-image, which can also manifest itself in a positive or negative attitude towards oneself.
- Personal experience of a person! This factor includes all the achievements and failures, thanks to which we determine our intrinsic value, we receive life lessons.
What do we get as a result?
And so, at about 21 years old, we have an idea of who we really are, and to what life goal we are moving. But that is not all. Having met our soul mate, getting married, we meet new attitudes from a loved one. And here begins a complete "shock", especially if the behavior patterns of you and your significant other are completely different.
However, not everyone can marry / get married, because the attitude can be betrayed from the parents, for example, "Marriage is evil", "All men humiliate women, so you need to keep them further from them", "All women only need money from you" … And getting rid of this is very difficult. It will be especially hard for those who nevertheless get married, and will look for their attitude in a partner, and spoil life for him and for themselves.
A psychologist will help you understand your attitudes.
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