2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Depreciation
To devalue means to deprive someone or something of value, significance, and importance to oneself.
By devaluing, we reduce the price and value of what we really need.
Our psyche always cares about us and therefore, in order not to face the pain of disappointment, it is easier for us to deprive the meaning of the object of the desired or ourselves at all.
Many are prone to devaluation, especially those who are in the position of the victim. Instead of realizing what is happening, "My husband is cheating on me" or "I am the wife of an alcoholic." The event is devalued and it turns out “All the men are cheating, walking and drinking,” and in this case it doesn't hurt so much.
These examples show how a person reduces the significance of an event in order not to encounter feelings and not be responsible for himself, his life.
When we are faced with a situation that is difficult or impossible to deal with. Many of us tend to devalue ourselves entirely. For example, I cannot get the desired position and I decide that I am a bad specialist and a weak personality. The worst thing is that by devaluing ourselves, we sincerely forget, erase our past achievements and personal dignity.
But with this form of thinking, on the one hand, we protect ourselves from criticism of others, because we ourselves declare “I am nobody and they call me nothing. I don’t need to say anything, I already know everything”. On the other hand, we leave and run away from the situation, because if I am "Nobody", then you can do nothing, but suffer. Because, if you really look at the unpleasant situation about the desired position, but at the same time without devaluing yourself, then you need to analyze what is missing in me to find what I want … and find out what else I need to work on in myself (professional skills, experience, accommodating and flexible character).
Behind the depreciation is shame, guilt, and the fears of the depreciating person. So a person hides his needs for a sense of his own worth, in accepting himself as he is.
When in personal communication we devalue the personality of another, thus increasing the distance between us. For example, the husband didn’t nail the shelf … it means he’s not a man at all, you cannot lean on him, feel safe, etc. And he just did not nailed the shelf on time.
Devaluation in a relationship saves us from being sincere and close in contact with another.
We devalue:
- your dreams and goals. For example, if I cannot achieve this, then this is nonsense.
- the whole world. For example, nothing works for me, tk. I live in a poor country.
- myself. For example, If I cannot achieve what I want, then I am nothing of myself. I'm a loser.
What to do if you have traced this psychological defense mechanism in yourself ???
Allow yourself to be imperfect. After all, only by idealizing ourselves and the world around us, we cannot accept mistakes and weaknesses. Absolute values (good versus bad, weak versus strong) are an illusion that leads to disappointment. We are alive and therefore we have everything in us, and everyone makes mistakes, while the specific situation does not speak about the personality as a whole.
Stop. Become aware of what you are doing. Why devalue? Deliberately return value to yourself. Write down your merits, achievements in different areas of your life.
Allow yourself to feel. Stop dividing feelings into good and bad. Each of us, in different situations, has different experiences. And if now you are sad, painful, from the current situation, allow yourself to be in it. You don't need to be artificially invigorated. Blocking anxiety will only make your condition worse.
Remember that you have everything you need to be a happy person.
And if now you do not feel the strength in yourself, this does not mean that you are weak. This means that you need to take care of yourself, satisfy your needs. And the strength will come in due time. Take your time, feel your pace of life.
Kuleshova Julia
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How Is Depreciation Different From Rationalization?
Any psychological defense performs the function of preventing the loss of self-esteem. That is, a person develops certain thought forms and reactions in order to protect a positive, consistent self-image. When defenses are applied consciously and do not affect the personality of others, are not dysfunctional, there is nothing wrong with them.
