2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Most often, those with low self-esteem suffer from depreciation. Such people are initially set up to have a negative attitude towards themselves, they rarely saw anything else.
Is it worth fighting this? Definitely yes! By increasing your self-esteem, you will not notice how your life will change dramatically. The changes will affect not only work successes, but also personal life will noticeably improve. No matter how trite the common phrase “love yourself and others will do it” sounds, but it is 100% correct.
There is also a second option: everything is fine with self-esteem, you love yourself, but … You are too dependent on someone else's opinion, and now it poisons your life. It is enough for some of your friends to make a critical remark about your success and everything collapses. What to do in this case? Again, we share truth and lies, facts and emotions. Think about why a friend said that you look disgusting in this dress? After all, just an hour ago you admired your reflection in the mirror and knew that you looked great! It is possible that your friend is in a bad mood, and she lashes out at you, or she is just jealous. Now, if you yourself felt that the outfit does not suit you too much, and a friend simply confirmed this theory, then this is a completely different matter. Therefore, before taking someone else's criticism to heart and allowing yourself and your successes to be devalued, figure out why the person is saying this.
As you already understood, the main and first devaluators are parents, teachers, friends. And it only depends on you how your future relationship will develop. Or you allow them to devalue their successes and achievements, and they live happily, and you are not very happy. Or you go to a frank dialogue, in which you explain to everyone that this is unpleasant for you and ask them to stop. In this case, it is possible that all communication with you will be stopped, but this is not as bad as it seems at the very beginning. Yes, you will lose loved ones, but how can you be considered close to those who regularly do nasty things to you?
All over the world it is believed (and I completely agree with this) that devaluation is violence against a person. Let them not destroy you physically, but everyone has long known that psychological trauma can heal much longer than real wounds.
As a specialist in my industry, I also often face depreciation. For example, when people come to me for help, we conduct a consultation, raise many questions, and work with painful moments. A person writes it all down, sees a solution to problems and then … “What was that? We just talked for an hour and that's it. He devalued not only my work, but also his own. And all because there is fear behind it all! Clients are afraid to go forward, accept new conclusions and live in accordance with them, they do not want to leave their comfort zone, it is easier to say that my work was done poorly. I do not take it personally, I try in such cases to tune the person to a positive result, I urge him not to be afraid to act. It is very important for me to convey to him the fact that you should not be afraid of failure, you can always try again.
Before accepting someone else's criticism of yourself, ask a simple question: is it true, is this information being conveyed to me out of good intentions? And don't be afraid to stop listening to or suppress such conversations.
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