2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently, at my reception, requests from young girls on the topic "I want me to have an orgasm!" Options: vaginal, jet, orgasm in general during sex with a man, and not only during masturbation.
I am very sensitive to privacy issues, therefore I do not describe the so-called "client stories", but for my more than 20 years of practice, believe me, I have a lot!
And therefore, here I go for some generalizations, because a certain pattern has formed.
So, a girl lived for herself, did not know grief, had sex, masturbated, had orgasms and did not bother with anything. But suddenly, having learned that there is not just an orgasm, but an Orgasm-Orgasm-Orgasm With Pearl Buttons, she begins to look for a way, by all means, to achieve it. Because otherwise she is an inferior, defective, under-woman. And, as a rule, she finds out about it, guess from whom? That's right, from your muFFchina! Who, after sex, declares approximately the following: “Well, I don’t know, I don’t know! All women before you had exactly the same Orgasm-Orgasm-Orgasm, and there were no problems. I'm used to a woman ending just like that and not otherwise! And you don't have an orgasm (vaginal / clitoric / jet / orgasm at all) ?! Go ahead and check, something is definitely wrong with you!"
It's not hard to guess what happens next. Our girl, believing in her own inferiority, begins to look for where to get this Orgasm-Orgasm-Orgasm; undergoes all possible sex trainings, eats tons of magic pills, surfs the endless expanses of women's forums, but things are still there! Gradually, the "female inferiority virus" does its job. Self-esteem falls, already inharmonious sex gets upset, relations with a partner suffer. The fear of losing this "muFFchina" appears or grows. Or, as by leaps and bounds, the feeling of guilt grows to the size of a young rhinoceros on the topic: I cannot give him full sex. And further, and more …
And in this, or almost this state, the girl comes to my appointment. The details of the anamnesis will be omitted.
Any sexual problem is not limited to the "downstairs" area. This problem is much broader: it is the attitude towards oneself, and the relationship with a partner, and much more. Summarizing the problem areas, I will designate what our girl “hurts”, WHAT IT REALLY NEEDS TO WORK WITH:
- Women's self-esteem
- Rejection of yourself, your body / sexuality
- The desire to push your needs and desires into the background
- Sacrifice
- Relationships with men
- Relationship with today's partner, if any
- Childhood relationship with father and / or mother
- Guilt
- Fears, especially fear of loneliness / rejection
- Fear of not living up to expectations
- Fear of losing control
- And etc.
But, before deciding to see a psychotherapist, it is important to "turn on the brain." Perhaps it will even help you, and you will not have to spend money on a psychologist J
So, girls, dear!
We must not forget that we are all overloaded with information. In addition, everything is being commercialized.
There is a well-known idea that in fact there is no cellulite. It was "discovered" by the inventors of the cellulite cream.
All sales are based on satisfaction. And, if a person is not aware of them, he must, by all means, point to them, “objectify” the need. You want it only while you don’t know about it! And marketers are trying: “You still don't have a vaginal (jet) orgasm ?! How are you still alive to this day, and your man did not leave you ?! Come to our sex training (buy our magic capsule pills), and you will be happy!"
It must be remembered that your man is also in the same information field, and therefore he can honestly believe that it is not at all about him, who has not sufficiently studied your erogenous zones (or you yourself did not tell him about it - he will suddenly be offended, or it is inconvenient to say ABM at all THIS), but it's about you,defective under-woman who is not able to experience Orgasm-Orgasm-Orgasm With Pearl Buttons.
Therefore, in this place I include the Doctor and introduce the concepts of NORM. I quote:
“The intensity of orgasmic sensations in women can vary even with one partner, depending on age, experience, the nature of caresses, the phase of the menstrual cycle, and the use of contraceptive methods. AM Svyadosch (1984) distinguishes between the following types of orgasm.
I. By source of origin: 1) coital; 2) extracoital (emission, masturbatory, myocompression, petting, random).
II. By localization: 1) clitoris; 2) vaginal; 3) undefined localization.
III. Downstream: 1) short-term (peak-shaped); 2) lingering (wavy); 3) single entry; 4) multiple.
IV. By intensity: 1) strong; 2) moderate; 3) weak."
Everything!!! This is all NORM! And in general, it is not so much about Orgasm-Orgasm-Orgasm With Pearl Buttons, but about the ability of your body to EXPERIENCE ORGASM in any form at all! Moreover, there is so-called satisfaction without orgasm (satisfactio sine orgasmo), and this is also the norm!
But, if I have not convinced you, and you still want to improve something in your sex life - welcome!
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