What To Do To Keep My Husband From Cheating? 5 Lessons

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“A husband can change” is a natural fear for a wife. It occurs in everyone. Regardless of whether you wore a wedding ring yesterday, or a few years ago, one day the understanding comes - cheating can happen to anyone.

I have found several feminine approaches to the problem of cheating.

1. "If a man has cheated, then it is my mistake, something was not enough for him in his marriage to me."
2. “All men are cheating, their nature needs it. That's that."
3. “It was she, the Mistress, who seduced him! She hunted him, she is not ashamed to break up a family"
4. “I am the best for my husband. It won't cheat on me."

What is your position?

Regardless of your attitude to male infidelity, you can protect yourself from this trouble.

Do you think now I'll tell you how to find the password for his phone? Or what pheromones to smear with? No, this is not my approach. Although, there is something in the idea with pheromones … But first, let's discuss more elaborated methods.

Lesson 1. Love with pleasure

Women's wisdom says: "A man does not leave where he has enough sex."

But life says: they leave from there too.

One client told me about his wife's behavior. This wife, apparently, was guided by that very wisdom. Therefore, she never refused her husband intimacy. At some point, the man realized that she (hereinafter - the quote): "Stupid - suffers!" This discovery did not stir up his interest in his wife, but rather cooled him down.

But fact is fact - if a husband and wife are only sleeping in their bedroom, then the husband begins to want to go to someone else's bedroom. Therefore, the first lesson for wives is to enjoy sex with your husband.

How can this be achieved? We need to solve a lot of our problems. Fatigue, stress, irritation, etc. Yes. This is hard. Otherwise, there would not have been so many deceived wives.

In most families, the husband's libido is higher than that of the wife. The man is the initiator of intimacy. The main task is the pleasure of the husband. "So that you don't want to go to the left." But men are not as selfish as we women sometimes think. The more you want a husband, the more he wants only you.

Lesson 2. Show trust

Personally, I completely agree with the opinion that “if a man wants to change, he will change”. Even if you make your husband accountable for every step.

Any man will confirm that constant checks are humiliating. Do you want a Man or a Henpecked to be near? If the first option, then give up covert (and explicit) control. Better to voice your concerns directly.

But sometimes women flirt with trust. Sending a husband for a long time to a hot country alone after a quarrel is unreasonable. Common sense should not run counter to trust.

Then how to show your husband your trust?

The answer is on the spot from everyday life. In conversations, discussing situations. In confidential conversations.

I ask you, just don’t say: “You’re not going anywhere with me! "You want to run away from such a phrase, dropping your slippers. If we are to say, then: “I am glad that we have the same attitude to the topic of betrayal, and that loyalty is above all for both of us. It is better to solve problems in the family than to look for somewhere to hide. " It sounds a little pretentious, but play with these words yourself, put them in the context of the conversation with your husband. Or come to an individual consultation, I will help you formulate it as you need it.

Yes, if cheating has already happened, open access to correspondence helps to restore trust. I wrote about this in the article “Is it possible to restore trust after infidelity? 7 Signs of Trust Restoration”. But you should not show distrust of your husband, keeping him "under a hood."

Lesson 3. Stay true to yourself

Unfortunately, they change even where they often love and where they don't check the phone.

Dear ladies, sometimes husbands are bored with us. But do we always have fun with them? Moreover, are we always comfortable with us?

Can you say that you are satisfied with yourself, your life, work, self-development?

You are trying to create a home, to raise children. Are you sure that you have not disappeared into everyday life? That you are still an interesting person?

Don't go to extremes. Being a good housewife and mother does not mean “Forget about yourself”. Paying attention to your development is very important. Set goals, achieve them, grow as a person, seek happiness within yourself.

Then the husband from time to time will feel like a knight fighting for the heart and hand of the lady. So what if the lady is the same all the time.

Lesson 4. Occupational therapy - for the husband

As I wrote the previous paragraph, I remembered those of my clients who are "both clever and beautiful." And all the same - husbands are unfaithful. What recipe would I add for them? Don't take it all on yourself.

“I'm spinning, spinning! All by herself! Oh, what a fine fellow I am! If not for me, everyone would be lost,”some wives think. They are wrong. If the wife is spinning all the time, then what can the husband do?

First, his wife is tired and tortured all the time. She doesn't need anything (see lesson number 1)

Secondly, the wife holds everything in her hands, the man - like the fifth leg of a dog. Why is he? Simply carrying money to the family is boring.

Thirdly, the wife copes even where the man should be by default. So she is "cooler" than her husband? It's humiliating.

You need your husband's help. In solving strategic issues. In raising children. At home. Yes, I understand, waiting two months for him to sort out the tap in the bathroom is horror, horror. But - this is how it should be! This is his, her husband's, task.

Just remember that "nagging" is not an option. Remind - but not "cut". The very case when it is important, HOW it is said. Again, this can be learned.

Lesson 5. Talk to him

One client told me:

“Some time ago my husband and I were sorting out the relationship. I could not understand what he wanted from me. Either he explained poorly, or I was fixated on myself. But then everything became calm. He stopped quibbling. I calmed down. I thought - finally everything is fine. And suddenly I found out about the betrayal! Later I realized that at that moment it was not “good”. My husband just left me behind. He stopped trying to reach me."

Chat! Even if your husband is silent, there are still ways to connect with him. Are you interested in your husband? What do you want to talk to him about? What does he like to talk about? One way or another, in a conversation you understand the person better. What worries him? What makes him happy? Even if the conversation is completely on an abstract topic, you will feel unity with your chosen one.

Even more so, you shouldn't gloss over your fears. Sooner or later they will turn into fears, suspicions. As long as you and your husband have an understanding, discuss your own concerns and enlist his support.

Work on bugs

Cheating is not a disease. This is a symptom of the disease.

Family psychologists view the family as a system. Husband and wife are a two-link system. When a problem arises in the system, the system tries to find a balance. Very often an additional link is needed for this. A friend, a psychologist, a mother-in-law, or a mistress. These additional heroes can transfer tension from the system to themselves.

If you feel that your husband can cheat on you, don't panic. We must try to understand where the failure was in the system. Why was such a "balancing" necessary? Then there is a chance to cure the "sick" family.

But, of course, it's better just not to get sick. Hopefully, by doing my 5 lessons, you will do a good "preventative work". And I will be glad to answer your questions in the comments.

Author: Natalia Lubina