2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A man's happiness lies in his ability to be realized in life, to reveal his potential through the achievement of his goals, to create something important, valuable, interesting. A marker of "involvement" and the main condition for using this ability is a man's state of confidence in himself and his strength. Or, as they like to say, the presence of a solid "inner core".
Self-confidence is a prerequisite for achieving success in a wide variety of areas of life. Not only in business, but also in relationships, in all kinds of communications, in the development of oneself. We can say that it is the inner state that in itself generates success in life. Therefore, it is extremely important for a man to develop self-confidence if he wants to claim at least something in this life.
Confidence and simulated confidence
To discuss any issue / topic, it is important, first of all, to have a clear idea of it. Lack of understanding or unclear understanding of what "self-confidence" is in reality creates illusions, myths, lies to oneself, which only worsens the situation. An insecure man believes that, in fact, everything is in order, mixes up the problem and any collisions with reality, where his insecurity is "exposed", is inclined to explain anything, just not the fact of his own insecurity.
In my opinion, self-confidence is a psychological property of a person, the foundation of which is an adequate assessment of his capabilities, abilities and competencies, which gives the individual a clear understanding of what he can change in life, and about what he can only accept. For example, a man can be sure that he will cross the ocean (Alain Bombard) because he has the necessary information and skills to survive (fishing, desalinating water, driving a raft, etc.). But with regard to changing people's views on the issue of salvation at sea, he may no longer have such confidence. For too much needs to be changed in these very people.
Another characteristic of confidence is a man's deep personal conviction in his right to live and act as he sees fit. It can also be called "internal sovereignty", when you have only one king - yourself. With internal sovereignty, a man does not pay attention to condemnation and evaluations from insignificant and even significant characters, but simply does what he considers important for himself, makes decisions that he does not doubt the correctness.
The opposite of real self-confidence is pride, self-confidence, feigned arrogance, cheap show-off, snobbery, insolence, impudent swagger, and so on. All of them are based on deep and vile lies to oneself about oneself. Such a person is simply afraid to discover the cruel and unpleasant truth about who he really is. And in order not to see this truth for himself and not allow others to see, he imitates confidence through self-affirmation with the help of various "attributes" (clothing, status, material objects) or humiliation of the weaker.
The consequences of such a position in life always lead to disastrous results. Because "no matter how long the string twists, it will still end." A form devoid of support in the face of internal content, sooner or later, cracks and the inner essence of a pseudo-confident person falls out. After that, all those who previously hypocritically and even sincerely admired him immediately begin to beat him (both figuratively and literally). Therefore, you do not need to lie to yourself and chase the form. This is bad. You need to work on the content. It is longer and harder, but the result is reliable.
A true source of confidence
The base, the foundation of deep inner self-confidence is the ability to bear (exercise, realize) responsibility. First of all, for yourself and your own life. Actually, a man who is incapable (who has lost, who wasted this ability for some reason) to bear responsibility for himself, his words, actions and decisions, will never be able to feel truly confident. Instead of confidence, he can only demonstrate surrogates and "attributes" of confidence. He can, by an effort of will, behave calmly and at ease, but an experienced gaze will clearly see all the gigantic inner tension that he is experiencing at this moment.
The ability to exercise responsibility dramatically changes attitudes toward failure. Now they are perceived not as something tragic and dramatic, but simply as mistakes made as a result of an inadequate perception of reality, unjustified hopes, illusions, etc. professional), realize and eliminate. And based on a clearer and more adequate perception of reality, take the right actions that will lead to the desired result.
If it is important for you to build a relationship with a woman, then you should know that in a man a woman values, first of all, his ability to be responsible for her. To be responsible for a woman is to make decisions for her that would satisfy her and bring various material and non-material bonuses (“confidence in the future”, a sense of stability and security “like a stone wall”). Then the woman feels serene and happy.
The degree of self-confidence is actively influenced by unconscious ideas and attitudes, one way or another justifying the discharge of responsibility. It makes no sense to list them all, since each of them manifests itself individually and their number can be quite large.
All these attitudes are united by the following feelings - guilt, resentment, hope, shame, self-pity, blaming others. Acutely experiencing or drowning, driving deep into the unconscious, these feelings (which are, in fact, only symptoms of the problem), it is impossible to experience true self-confidence. Only an imitation of it. Therefore, "catching yourself by the hand" on the dramatization of these feelings, you should begin to work them out in order to get to the bottom of the source. On your own or with the help of a professional.
How to quickly build self-confidence
Operational, tactical confidence depends on the level of a hormone such as testosterone (also called "winning hormone"). The higher a person's testosterone level, the more calm he is, emotionally stable (not under the influence of "internal dialogue"), decisive, persistent, sexual, etc. If you need to quickly raise confidence so as not to "crap" in some situations, then increasing testosterone is the best solution.
The level of testosterone is influenced by participation in power confrontations, personal victories (even in ordinary contests), since this sets the body up for struggle and expansion for which, in fact, testosterone is produced. In addition, power loads are also useful because they stabilize
innervation, and with it hormones, eating oatmeal, which binds globulin, which blocks the natural production of testosterone, foods rich in zinc and magnesium, healthy fats, avoiding beer and alcohol in general, as they reduce testosterone production by 50%.
Anti-stress therapy (for example, using the tools from the How to Overcome Stress course) has a great positive effect both on the body as a whole and on testosterone production, since the hormone cortisol released into the body during stress suppresses testosterone secretion. But if you quickly "stop" the release of cortisol, then the body will be healthier and there will be more testosterone.
However, do not get carried away with testosterone alone. Just raising "operational confidence" by increasing testosterone without restoring the scope of responsibility leads to the so-called.“Dull confidence”, when a man can “shove like a tank”, even get some results, but inevitably commits strategic mistakes associated with the inability to calculate the consequences and inadequate perception of reality. As a result, this leads to painful losses on all fronts.
Confidence Building Program
Confidence building is not a series of "one-steps", it is not a few exercises, not listening to motivational videos and reading other people's "success stories". To become a self-confident man, you will have to work hard on yourself, investing time, energy and other resources in your future success. Get rid of the "ingrained" habit of comparing yourself with others, including "standards of success", make your self-esteem stable and adequate, stop depending on other people's opinions and assessments, get rid of resentment, shame, guilt, fear of "inappropriateness". And the main thing is to increase your level of personal responsibility.
There is no universal recipe that is the same for everyone. But it is obvious that the development of reinforced concrete confidence must have a solid foundation in the form of your own Main Goal, your own life principles that express deep values, your own concepts about life, about “what is good and what is evil”, your own criteria of “right and wrong”, "Importance and unimportance." I will tell you how you can create such a foundation in your particular case at a free consultation. Sign up!
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