He Wants To Watch Your Life Turn To Death

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

By the night of yesterday, the last line put an end to my inner cinema and there were captions, interference of black and white stripes and tears

Until now, the feeling that I am in a large cinema, open for showing only for me by myself. I am sitting in the center, the film is over long ago, the screen went out, and I froze like a bird and I cannot budge

Shock is a word that does not convey a state …. I am still crying. I cry when I take a shower in the morning to the music of "Vologda-gdaaa" … I cry when I drink my morning coffee on the windowsill … I cry when I take the boy to school …..

Life, because it consists of such "before and after". After your life is never the same again. And this is not only in the bad sense of this phrase. I think about significant events in my life and understand that my first dash in my life "before and after" is me before school and I during school years.

Do is mom and dad, and noisy weekends feasts with cards, songs on an accordion, and we are the children who are in this crowd, happy and gorged on both food and impressions.

After that I am already alone and explore this huge world myself. With interest, trepidation and the appearance of different characters in it, for a moment brought into my field, or remaining to this day.

And during these two days I am so grateful to my parents and myself for those first seven years of my life. After all, it was in them that I learned to understand that I am separate from others. That each of us has boundaries. Have your own desires. There is a right to feelings. And how important it is to feel and protect all this.

Another girl was less fortunate and she grew up very kind, naive and idealizing the world, striving for perfection not only of herself, but of the entire planet. I believed in the great unearthly and purity of the thoughts of all people. The incredible charm, depth of bottomless eyes and emotional speech of the velvet timbre of her voice helped her through life. And, unfortunately, they led her into a trap called death …..

Dedicated to girls and women who are proud of their excellent pupil syndrome and the status of a good girl….

The biggest mistake when you naively believe. At this moment, when your faith merges with the cold calculation of a psychopath, your boundaries blur and flow into him. And at that moment you stop feeling where you are and where he is:

"He said that he saw me in the window of my hairdresser and fell in love at first sight. He began to come there and look at me, and only a month later he decided to go inside. With flowers and all on elegance."

"He is very timid and worried, so we have been writing letters to each other on Facebook for six months of our romance and have not met yet. But he promised that this day will come very soon."

"He gives me gifts through couriers. I have not seen him yet, but I am already waiting for news from him through such material attention and I can not imagine that it can end"

Consider that from now on you are in captivity. Deeply and completely. You are the Victim.

Second mistake, when you try to see the logic in his actions and justify him:

"he promised to meet on Friday. Finally! I waited five months and this will be the coolest reward for my waiting … but he wrote in an hour that he had an accident."

"he has a sick child in another city and he has to work a lot and travel there, so he has no time to see each other"

"after he saw me in the window of my hairdresser, he had a seizure. The hospital found out that it is an inoperable cancer. And he does not want to tie me to him. And I can no longer live without him."

The third mistake, when you hope you can redo it:

"with me he became different. And he will no longer return to his past life."

"I will prove to him with my love that our difference of 20 years does not mean anything"

"now he has no friends, but I will show by my example that friends are good"

The fourth mistake, when you isolate yourself from analyzing his actions, and in them his whole essence:

-he does not come to the meeting, because he is taking time and waiting for you to sit tightly and firmly on him;

-it disappears for two days for the same reason;

- he spends that kind of money on you not because of your unearthly beauty and universal love, but because in the return he will possess you and destroy you. And this for his sick psyche is more expensive than all money;

- behind his courtesy and perfectly constructed phrases there is hatred, hatred and again hatred;

- he is with you not because you are so incredible and wise, but because you have a powerful trigger that launched his inner tragedy of life in him. It could be the look of your bottomless eyes, the red laces on your sneakers, the peppermint-flavored Dirol chewing gum in your left hand, or the scent of your Armani perfume mixed with cigarette smoke … … see how he needs you …

You yourself, no, but your soul and body as an object for taking revenge, yes. He's obsessed with it. And you will not be able to break his sick picture of the world and reach out to his heart.

The only sure thing you can do is run.

Run without looking back.

Look back, death.

You will enter into a dialogue-death.

You will start a fight-death.

Understand the main essence of a psychopath - Disease is useless to report as it is called. He will still move on the path of his injury and consider himself genuinely right. At the same time, it will remain cool and balanced.

This is the aftertaste … this is the sillage ….

Author: Lika Konkevich (Stavtseva)