Why Is There Little Sex In Marriage?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This has already become something of a general rule - they say, nothing can be done, in a marriage there is always less sex, such is the Selyavi. In fact, people are wrong - there is no less sex in marriage.

There is little sex in marriage. At least less than before marriage. I hear such complaints, maybe not every day, but quite often.

Moreover, it has already become something of a general rule - they say, nothing can be done, in a marriage there is always less sex, such is the Selyavi.

In fact, people are wrong - there is no less sex in marriage. Now I will explain (get ready, there will be a lot of text; and get ready - in some places it will be very difficult).

Biological, too biological

I'll start a little from afar. Sex, if someone is not in the know, has three main tasks: a) reproduction (conception); b) maintaining and strengthening ties in a pair; c) getting pleasure (satisfying the need for sensory influx).

When a man and a woman (or a woman and a man) fall in love, they have sex just for reproduction. Sexual intercourse (sorry for naturalism) occurs very often - for the reliability of conception.

The female body is designed in such a way that a single intercourse does not necessarily lead to conception - which is why you need to have sex as often as possible. Simply put, the couple increases the number of intercourses to ensure they get pregnant.

This is pure biology, no sublime romance.

However, after the invention of almost 100% reliable contraceptives, this behavior rarely leads to pregnancy. We humans have deceived our own nature.

True, she cunningly took revenge.

Human, too human

We humans forget that after a woman becomes pregnant, the first function of sex is performed. Organisms send each other signals "That's enough, it's done."

There are still two functions remaining, but there is no need for the frequency that was at the dawn of the relationship to strengthen connections and satisfy the need for sensory input. Therefore, the sex frequency becomes lower.

This, I emphasize especially, does not mean that there is little sex. This means that the frequency of intercourse has become adequate to the tasks of "maintaining relationships" and "having fun."

Once again - for the inattentive and reading through the paragraph. There is a lot of sex before marriage, because our biology is geared towards reproduction. In a marriage, there is as much sex as is needed to maintain the relationship and get pleasure (I'm talking about a normal state, without diseases and other jambs).

Someone might be surprised. Like, how so, after all, Zygmantovich wrote above that thanks to contraception, pregnancy rarely occurs at the stage of falling in love, and now he says you don't understand what.

Everything is correct. The fact is that if pregnancy does not occur at a certain time, organisms also send signals to each other. But others. In this case, they tell each other something like "It's impossible to do" (I, of course, oversimplify, but not fatal).

In such situations, the organisms do not necessarily scatter (although this also happens). Fortunately, we are not just animals, but animals with intelligence. We can understand that it is worth being together even when there is no pregnancy. And here sex again performs its two remaining functions.

Alas, our mind is not always enough to understand that it is not necessary to be guided by what happened before marriage. It's too human behavior to want to always be as it was at its peak. What can you do, we are people, we are peculiar.

A few words about the habit

Of course, the situation is spoiled a little by the fact that the third function of sex is to get pleasure. And pleasure, as you know, is tactile sensations that create a positive emotional background.

Unfortunately, tactile sensations tend to become boring. What is pleasant yesterday is already familiar today, but tomorrow, you see, it will start to annoy at all (it seems like black caviar irritated Vereshchagin in "White Sun of the Desert").

The same goes for sensations, um, visuals. The most beautiful view from the window will become familiar after a while, and then, you see, it will start to annoy you.

It is clear that everything is exactly the same with the spouse. A biologist might say, "The stimulus presented has ceased to be an irritant." I’ll say more clearly - before, nudity excited, but now it has become habitual.

So the third function of sex is minimized - sensory influx (i.e., getting pleasure) in such situations becomes less, and sex becomes less.

Again, we arrive at the same thing as in the first case - a comparison error. People compare the current situation with the one that was at the very beginning of the relationship, when men and a woman (or a woman and a man) were new to each other, somewhere even a wonder.

When they knew each other little, the pleasure of tactile sensations was greater, because there was more novelty. Now there is less novelty and less pleasure.

Natural process. Moreover, this is the norm. It’s different only in new relationships.

What is the bottom line?

Of the three functions of sex in marriage, two are rapidly weakening.

Pregnancy either occurs or is recognized as conditionally impossible, pleasure is reduced due to habit. The function of maintaining relationships remains.

And there is just enough sex in marriage to serve this function, plus weakened two.

This is a natural process, this is how it should be. Complaining that there was a lot of sex before, but now it is not enough, is useless. Complaining is not stopped by natural processes.

There is salvation

However, there are a few things you can do. Any natural process can be corrected if you understand how it works.

So it is with sex. If you understand why it is needed and why what is happening in it, you can make your own amendments. For example, such.

1. Adjust expectations. If you know that autumn is coming, it will hardly surprise you. So it is here. If you know that the intensity of sex is abnormally high at the beginning of a relationship, then falling that abnormally high intensity will not be a tragedy.

2. Add novelty. You need to be careful here - sex is a painful topic for many people, so be careful with anal fun, swing clubs and homosexual experiments. The spouse may not always like it. In my opinion, it is better to go dancing together or to tantra for couples (especially for couples).

3. Reduce candor. Try to show less of your nudity in front of your spouse. Do not change clothes with your husband / wife, do not go around the house in shorts. It is clear that there is no need to hide and never, never show up in negligee. Just do it as little as possible.

And I will separately write down the coolest recipe, which, unfortunately, is difficult to fulfill. The coolest thing about overcoming natural addiction is sleeping in different rooms. Not in different beds, but in different rooms.

This recommendation is very difficult to implement for various reasons, I understand. But those who did it invariably reported incredible results. Sex "fast once a week" very quickly turned into "sex every other day and from the heart." So, everything is in your hands.

And that's all for me. Thank you for your attention.