2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Author: Pushkareva Sofya Sergeevna
The topic of fears is very broad and multifaceted. In this article I want to reveal my vision of this problem and the methodology of work.
Now I will not consider such a situation when fear carries adequate protection, it is clear that it is better to cross the road to the green light, and fear warns of possible danger.
Of course, fears become a problem when they restrict a person's life in different areas of life: fear of public speaking, fear of saying no, fear of getting to know each other, fear of having a relationship, phobias, panic attacks etc.
From the point of view of gestalt therapy, there are common mechanisms for all these seemingly very different fears.
The entire flow of information that can be realized is conditionally divided into three large zones:
The root of many problems is that the “intermediate zone” - the fantasy world - is too developed and expanded. A person is mainly present in reflections, ideas about …, hypotheses, fantasies
Take the fear of public speaking, for example. The performance has not started yet, but you are already experiencing intense fear: heart palpitations, tremors, sweating, etc. Why? There is a picture in my head, expectation of what will happen: “People are watching. They are not interested, they laugh, and with all their appearance they express that they do not like it. Here is an example where attention is exclusively in the intermediate zone, the fantasy zone. A person begins to replay in his imagination possible situations with negative scenarios, in which: “he will not like him,” “he will be judged,” “ridiculed,” “rejected,” etc.
Thus, the situation has not yet occurred in reality, but it is already happening in the head in the form of fantasy, anticipation.
The problem is that there is a mismatch between reality and man. Because of your fantasies, you "Losing ground of reality" underfoot and "You fly away into an imaginary world."
When a person is mostly in the world of fantasies, ideas, there is a reassessment of the rational perception of reality and the suppression of the inner world of sensations and feelings. This problem is called "Super control".
In general, overcontrol is the cause of many psychosomatic illnesses.
How do negative fantasies come about?
Most likely, there is some kind of experience in the past, on the basis of which this picture was formed. This is a traumatic childhood experience. Or at a more mature age. Or, perhaps, a hyper-protective style of upbringing, when they try to protect the child from everything: “You can't! Do not touch! You will fall! etc.
I like the words of V. Baskakov about fear: "There is a gap between a person and life." This "gap" is filled with thinking, fantasizing, and it does not reach the action, it does not reach participation in life, there is a stop half way.
Very often I see requests on the forum "No relationship", when approaching this request, it turns out that the person seems to want a relationship, but "due to tightness and excessive anxiety, what the MCH will think of me, I will behave unnaturally, not typical of me, I will not be myself, I don’t know how to explain”, and then the whole story unfolds in my head (for more details, see the Demo consultation“No relationship”), and why then do anything at all, because nothing will come of it anyway!
The "gap" becomes even greater, and what is scary, so life may pass unnoticed.
Therefore, the main task of psychotherapy of fears is to restore contact with reality, both internal and external
Contact with reality is the support that allows you to act and satisfy your vital needs.
In gestalt therapy, aggression is seen as a "movement towards", an action. The emotion of fear is a halt, freezing, holding the energy of action. Therefore, when working with fears, the study of aggression and the ways of expressing it is an important stage in psychotherapy.
And in the second part of my article, I want to share what I learned from V. Baskakov's seminar on thanatotherapy.
The direction of thanatotherapy is body-oriented therapy, in its methodology it is close to gestalt therapy. A friendly approach, one might say.
Further we will talk about the fear of death. Anyone who is scared can stop and not read.
Death is an existential given that it is important to learn to deal with. We cannot avoid death, but we can learn not to be afraid of death, and live without a "gap".
The fear of death appears when you have lost contact with your present, with your true needs. When one lives not one's own life, but based on ideas received from the outside, not reworked, but simply accepted "This is how everyone lives", "This is correct", "This is how it should be."
In thanatotherapy, death is modeled through its symbolic representation. Such modeling brings very close to this experience, but at the same time does not lead to shock, does not destroy the body, but helps to move away from stereotypical patterns.
There are several types of symbolic death that are already present in our lives:
Through bodily practices, a person has the opportunity to experience deep relaxation. Of course, this happens gradually. And for a person who is dominated by the problem of overcontrol, sometimes even just relaxing is extremely difficult.
Relaxation can become so deep that overcontrol goes away, there is a contact with the present, with sensations, feelings.
After such practice, a feeling of "correctness" may arise, a better understanding of yourself and what you want. There is an awareness of one's own values and an orientation towards a better and brighter living of life.
There are three worlds in which there is no fear of death:
Accordingly, knowing about these worlds, you can first conduct an audit - what do you have with them? And the second step is to add some of these worlds to your life.
Practical examples. When dealing with panic attacks, I have had instances where clients fell in love and the panic attacks went away
And at the end of the article, I want to share my experience of being close to death.
When my father died, it was a global shock for me, because it happened very quickly and he was and remains a very important person in my life, for several months the brightness of awareness remained: “Death is not as far away as it seems. AND - THERE IS TIME ONLY FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT! There is simply no time for the rest. "
I wanted to share:)
I sometimes shoot videos in which I answer questions. You can ask your questions in a personal message or in the comments to this article, and I will answer the most interesting ones in my videos!
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