2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Is there much use in situations where the ground is slipping from under your feet? Crises are inevitable, but how can this process be facilitated?
A healthy and happy person is one who changes all the time. You cannot be happy today and 3 years from now in the same way. And this is a wonderful thing. The more often you revise your life, the better, but each time crises help us to change. It is they who form such a state of affairs when it is no longer possible to live in the old way, but it is not known how in the new way.
And at such moments one gets the impression that the soil is leaving from under his feet. The person starts to break and what does he do? He is frantically looking for ways in which he can build his life differently.
Some crises can last 2-3 months, and some last decades.
What does it depend on?
Whether you are resisting the natural process of the crisis or not. If you resist, the crisis can drag on for a long time; if not, it will pass rather quickly. But this also depends on many factors.
If this is a crisis of adaptation to a new place of work, then even with professional skills, everything can be difficult. For example, you start a private psychological practice, and before that you worked as a psychologist at school. All your values and ways of building contact fit the school psychologist, and now they don't work. And even if you do everything correctly and thoughtfully, clients may not come. Why? Because the seat next to you is taken. There is anxiety, panic and fear.
The crises of becoming in a new place of work are considered one of the simplest.
Age crises are more difficult. They can happen at any time - at 15, and at 18, and at 22, 23, 24-50 years old. The same midlife crisis, for example, can occur at 36, 42, or even 54.
Crises can be traumatic. They are caused by some events that invade your usual life. And the problem is not in the event itself, but in the fact that your ways of living are adapted to situations without this event. And the event changes everything around and now adaptation is needed. So you can just get into a zone of turbulence and find out what the fear of flying an airplane is. And from now on, you need to get used to living with this fear, because it can appear even at the moment when you just drive by the airport.
This suggests that you have not even tried to experience this crisis. You turned into a stone, survived this turbulence zone, went out - and everything is fine, but. The next time you were unable to get on the plane.
We don't want to adapt to an unsafe world
A crisis is always an event that takes you beyond the limits of adaptive capabilities. And the basic human desire is to maintain stability.
A crisis is a threat to who you were. And this is one of the reasons why people do not want to experience them. After the crisis, you will be different.
One of the most difficult things for a person is to be in a situation that he cannot predict.
A crisis is always sudden, it is impossible to prepare for it, even if the events themselves are predictable. For example, the death of a loved one, which was inevitable. And even if this is an age crisis and the person was preparing for it, the very awareness of the crisis comes suddenly, and when the person is not ready for it.
The crisis presupposes that a person's life before and after is changing. If nothing changes, the crisis was either not experienced or did not exist at all.
You will inevitably have to change your life. How?
It is impossible to cope with a crisis of control. The crisis is always bigger than you. If you fight yourself in a crisis, you will suffer more than if you surrender to the process. If the crisis is significant, it will break you. And it will break faster if you think that you are the master of your destiny.
Life in a crisis pushes you somewhere, if you think how to stop it, you will not notice where. You either think about what to do, or you notice what is. It is impossible to do both at the same time.
The most damaging thing to do in a crisis is to be alone. Not because the other person is a support and resource, but because the very stream of life unfolds in a relationship. But if it hurts, you want to push the person away. Instinctively, as you struggle with the current, floundering with all your might, so do with people - you do not get in touch with them, although you can talk about your problem with everyone.
While experiencing grief, a person cannot keep it to himself. He tries to talk about it, but if he does not find someone to whom he can cry personally, nothing will happen. The situation will go in a circle and nothing will change. And it may never get easier! You will release tension, but grief will not.
All the resources needed to cope with the crisis are in contact
But no one will be able to tell how to overcome the crisis situation. You will overcome it yourself if you surrender to the flow of life and contact.
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