2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Right now, many psychologists are tackling the topic of “straightening out self-esteem,” that is, which seems to be somehow low … And self-esteem - how is it? How can I assess myself and against what? After all, everything is cognized only in comparison and in oppositions. What are the criteria? Comparing in oneself what and with what? Yourself with yourself? That is, before that I had high self-esteem, but now suddenly … it has dropped? Or maybe someone told you about this, well, the same psychologists, evaluating you through themselves. Or maybe you yourself heard it somewhere, suddenly finding in yourself the root of "all evil"? But how is it? What is the mental mechanism?
There is no such psychologism … There is no such definition - self-esteem. Since, if we talk about the mechanism, then according to its characteristics, the state of self-esteem will be closer to manic depressive psychosis, when the patient, being in the stage of mania, feels himself to be a genius, the greatest, omnipotent, well, that is … God. And in the stage of depression, he feels his insignificance, powerlessness, despair, somehow feeling, in some way, his own inferiority, well, that is, imperfection, emptiness …, lack. But, at the same time, he remembers that very recently he was omnipotent. These are the experiences of "suddenly falling self-esteem"! But, even in this example, cause and effect are highly confused. Even in this, the so-called "self-esteem", a certain state, experience, feeling of oneself as something is not a cause, since it is a consequence. And the consequence is not thoughts, that is, what lives in your mind （by the way, thought is generally an instrument of desire, and not more than that), and not even that which is displaced from it - the preconscious, in which some then memories, states, etc., are not compatible with your life; and the reason lies in your unconscious. Thus, the root is that your self-esteem can neither be nor become. It only occasionally breaks through, through indestructible, with a normal psyche, defenses - outward, seeping into consciousness, vague anxiety.
Moreover, if we remove from the social pie, the stuffing of psychologists who say that they are the connecting part between the individual and society; then a person is evaluated not by what he thinks of himself, and not by how he feels, but because he manifests himself among other people. By what he does. And, they evaluate him, that is, they judge - they make their opinion about him, according to his actions … right or not, only other people. So what kind of self-esteem can we talk about? Do you also judge yourself by your actions? This deed of mine is good, but that one is bad. And for whom is it good or bad? For you or for another person? This is how other feelings are manifested here, for example - shame, resentment or guilt. What is good or bad? And how will it be correct? We will not talk about it here, since this is a separate topic, and I often have to read reproaches in my direction related to the large number of letters I use in my reasoning. There is no such concept of self-esteem, but there is a feeling of humiliated dignity. Or unconscious experiences of the impossibility of achieving the desired.
Thus, in order for "your self-esteem" not to fall in someone's eyes, on the one hand, you need to maintain your dignity, and on the other hand, to understand yourself and be aware of your desires, so that there is an opportunity, to realize them correctly.
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