2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
But the truth is, why does he survive and not live happily? Why does he always adapt, please, keep silent once again, and not speak and act openly? Why does she feel guilty, then for her man, then for his parents, then for her parents, then for herself, although she did not commit anything criminal at all?
When a meeting happens, and after a relationship begins, everything is fine! There is attention, care, his or her parents are so nice and polite, even a lot of sex.
A woman looks at her man and thinks: "I finally met my man!"
A man looks at his woman and thinks: "I finally met my man!"
Parents look at their children and think: "Finally we have met at least someone, now we will definitely not meddle in their lives!"
One client told me so: “I was like a queen! The husband almost carried it in his arms. So caring, attentive, empathetic. I just thought, could men really be like that. We didn't even have any quarrels, everything is so fine and peaceful. And then I gave birth to a child - and real life began. I would just kill him, her husband!"
And where is that caring, empathetic and attentive?
Both men and women often say: “I started to live with another person, but this one is still childhood in one place, irresponsible, there are no goals in life, boring, does not get off the TV or serials”.
And then you have to survive with someone who is not interesting and boring, or rude and dangerous, or devalues and humiliates, or hits and insults.
As if the substitution was really made, or maybe the rose-colored glasses broke? Who knows…
Everything seems to be fine, but the cracks have already begun to run, the first bells have rang - again you come across rudeness and indifference, again, like your mother, you harness and begin to drag this heavy cart on yourself, either already of family life, or even family life.
And then loneliness comes, here he is still this person, but at the same time there is no one else but you. And you survive with someone who has long been indifferent to you. And it takes years to remember the moment when the countdown began? What went wrong?
Waiting too much?
Wanted too much?
Have you fantasized too much?
Women are more sensitive and vulnerable, women immediately feel that the relationship has gone wrong. And the women are rescuers. Saving relationships is a woman's favorite pastime.
I want to say right away that at the moment of meeting, a woman does not see a man at all, his personality, personal history and what to expect from him, and whether she will pull this relationship.
She sees another person - very important and necessary and also real. And this is not schizophrenia at all. This happens when one of the roles inside a woman is broken and she does not know anything about it yet. Awareness will come after the first thought: "and with whom do I really live?" This is how women come out of their dead sleep, it can take years, and someone remains in it forever. This is when we say to a friend: "Don't you see what a goat he is?" She really does not see, she sees another - dear and most beloved, and with the real she will meet later when she says: "Why didn't you tell me right away what a goat he is!"
And then survival kicks in. Pain is turned on, in which there is a lot of deception and betrayal. And this pain must be borne. Because everyone does it. Because sometimes it’s embarrassing to admit that deception can come at a cost to life.
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