2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The life of an adult is too deliberate and rational. Risk, liveliness, natural craving of any living creature for exploration, for penetration, for expansion, for regular shedding of skins completely disappeared from it. Instead, a person accumulates skin and imperceptibly turns bronze - building up armor.
Imagine a snake that has never dared to shed its skin in its entire life. It is such a snake that man has become.
Everything happens with a certain meaning. Deliberately, consistently. The line of obscurity, thoughtlessness, risk, spontaneity has disappeared. Yes, it's safer, more familiar and everyone around is calmer, but somewhere freshness disappears from life. And you have to make an effort to somehow look for it - this very spontaneity, freshness. Forced to pore over it.
But wouldn't it be easier instead to let go of your notions, your deepest centers of ideas. Instead of keeping the wild unbridledness of life inside yourself in the cages of your own ideas and only a couple of times a day (and it's good, if only so) to walk this spontaneity in some practices, in some fragmentary situations and circumstances, with some then by certain people - wouldn't it be easier to throw out all your cells once and for all, finally in the trash? And to remain completely without ideas and ideas about oneself, about life, about fate, about right and wrong - about everything without exception. And to be like this is pointless, without ideology, in any way.
Instead, a person lives like a wound mechanical clock, having painted his whole life literally by years, or even days, and unquestioningly following this schedule: here is a school, clap - this is an institute, clap - this is work, clap - here is a family, clap - here are children, clap - that's their school-institute-family-work, clap - that's old age, clap - and now it's time to survive.
But do you really know about how to live life right? What is right to do in life and what is not? What is meaningful and justified and what is not? Are you really so sure of anything? Where did you get this confidence? Are you sure that this confidence is yours, that it is a consequence of your attentiveness, observation and sensitivity in life? Is it your own experience that you know, what you claim?
Units stop to become more attentive and begin to listen …
And which of all this is really consciously chosen by them? Which of all of this really brings them the deep satisfaction of appeasing death itself? At least something of all this completes them, makes their life so deep and filled that it is not at all scary to say goodbye to this life at this very moment? It fills and completes them themselves - not mom or dad, not friends and acquaintances, not their husbands, wives and children, not society and the council of elders, but them.
Dada, you. You yourself
Tell me, when was the last time you said hello to a complete stranger? When did they tell you? What did they say just like that, without meaning by this something additional - without trying to get to know you, grab your attention, help you in something or tell you about something? Not for the sake of something, but not out of decency, but simply, from the heart.
That's it. Almost never. This simply does not exist in a person's life. A person does not know carelessness and lightness. So where does the meaningless "hello" come from, which does not mean anything except the very "hello" and does not require anything in return?
And when was the last time you smiled at someone without analyzing what the person would think about it, how he would react, would he be pleased or not?
When was the last time you walked down the street dancing? And when they walked, trying not to step on even strips of markings underfoot or on cracks?)
When was the last time you allowed yourself to say to a loved one “I don’t want” or “I will not” without explanation. And the distant one? Without going into details and not trying your best not to upset and explain in a way that makes you understand? Does this even happen in your life? When have you allowed yourself to be yourself - without trying to help the people around you avoid so many feelings?
When was the last time you met someone for even a couple of minutes just to hug? Or called up just to hear a voice because you missed it?
No, you are too big to come down like this …
Tell me, why are you hiding your own sincere desires? Are you so scared that you will not be understood, condemned, ridiculed? Are you really ready to live your whole life continuing to restrain yourself, only to continue to be comfortable, so as not to offend anyone, or accidentally not to hurt, not to touch?!
No, then freedom and love are definitely not for you. Freedom does not tolerate cowardice, freedom does not look back on the disaffected and offended. Freedom is not directed or controlled: the light cannot choose where to shine. If your light, if your sincerity and openness hurts someone, you have not so many options: cover up, reduce freedom by tightening your belts well, or stop looking back at how joy hurts most of everyone around you. And, finally, stop looking back at it, knowing that life is arranged this way and it simply does not happen in another way.
And when in response to your neighbor's "hello" you could not answer, because you do not feel any answer inside yourself?
Are you not tired of trying to be good, decent, smart, reasonable, correct? You know what I'm thinking is: why don't you relax? Well, take a chance, at least once! Find out, maybe life does not give you cuffs, as soon as you lower and unclench your own?
Tell me, if everything in your life is so much built into the system of ideas about how to be right and how well, how can you start to feel?
The news is not so hot - no way. This is impossible
To begin to feel for each person would mean to stop looking at the norms that have already been mastered. And just start to feel. And, of course, itself. This does not mean at all that you become angry or stupid or indifferent. But many, very many around you, will easily think of you that way, will easily be offended, upset or angry at you.
And while you do not have the courage to give freedom to all who are nearby to experience without your efforts and your control exactly what they are able to experience - you will not allow yourself a miracle. To allow, you have to let go of everyone… the whole, the whole world. And near and far. Everyone, everyone, everyone.
You may not be ready yet, but know: your whole life is moving towards this, every step, every breath you take …
And the moment when it will be easier to take risks never comes. It will not exist, because such a convenient moment simply does not exist. He's gone. Therefore, if you are reading this text, make up your mind now. There is nothing to lose in life. Not a single relationship, not a single future is worth not letting go of control right now and not stopping with all your being and risking to look directly in the eyes of the “one” “who” is most “waiting for it”!
_
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