2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Human relations are a very complex thing, especially when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman. They are so different, but at the same time they have a strong desire to be together, and to develop a relationship between them. Some couples do it better, some do it worse, and there are those who do not work at all. But there is another category - this is when they live together, but there is no relationship.
This does not happen immediately, of course. At the beginning, as usual, people really want to like each other, for this they go to beauty salons, gyms, even sometimes to the library, although they go there much less often). In a word, they want to become better, more beautiful, smarter, more attractive for another person. And they also want to correct in themselves what, in their opinion, another person may not like. If something cannot be completely corrected, no matter a character trait or some kind of physical defect, then they mask it in every possible way and try to hide it. Because the main goal at this stage is to attract the attention of the person who you liked and with whom you want to build a relationship and live together. And not just to attract, but also to push him to the fact that he also wants this and makes his choice.
The moment comes when the two begin to live together. Naturally, since they differ in character and habits, at first, conflicts occur between them, but over time and with a successful combination of circumstances, the relationship is balanced. It would seem that the time is coming when people have already learned enough, got used to each other. Live and be happy. This happens, but unfortunately, not always.
The client tells during the consultation that her husband, in her opinion, pays too little attention to her. This is expressed in the fact that he does not want to visit with her, helps around the house with reluctance, communicates with her in a sharp form and monosyllabic. The woman, very emotionally, talks about how she cleans the house (her husband loves order), prepares food, works (career is extremely important for her), and of course gets tired. When asked why they asked for help, she replies that her husband said that he was leaving her. She is at a loss and does not want it. I ask why my husband is so dear, replies that she spent too much effort to build everything in life, raise children, solve the problem with housing. Cry from the heart: - "I'm used to him and I don't need another one, I told him all my life, I tried everything for him" I will not describe how the consultations took place in detail, I just want to give two quotes from this woman at the very beginning of working with her … The first "And what do I like him, they appreciate me at work" and the second "Imagine, he said that he lacks warmth."
Actually, to the title of the article, if you want your relationship to deteriorate sharply, up to a break. Convince yourself that the person who is next to you is already used to you, and you shouldn't do anything to make him like you, why strain yourself once again. He won't go anywhere for too long. You are together. Moreover, all this nonsense about the fact that emotional closeness is necessary for both, this is not about you and your relationship. Habit is the basis of a long and “happy” relationship. It is she who gives this wonderful state when everything is stable and there are no surprises. Everything is calm and measured, going according to plan (possibly very good). Why try to become better for your partner (partner), as in the very beginning, because they accept you, which means everything is normal. Then you had to try to like it, but now you can relax and get results.
Why bother to fill your head with some thoughts about the feelings of another. Conversations can be reduced to exchanging news about the actions of colleagues at work and neighbors and commenting on television programs. It's easier to look at all this, if you together mean everything is fine and you don't need to know what he thinks or dreams about, he wants to say it himself. Don't bother with another's opinion of something. And at home you can, in general, do whatever you want.
This is how two live together, but there is no relationship. Interaction is a relationship. Joint actions, so that the person who is next to you was warm, in every sense, next to you.
Live with joy!
Anton Chernykh.
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