2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Each of us asked ourselves this question at least once in our lives. Anyone knows a lot of recipes, but for the most part it all comes down to the fact that a person wants (in the future tense) to possess something or someone. It can be anything: money, cars, villas, position in society, prestige at work or in business, status, talent, knowledge, possession of a beautiful wife / miss universe /, or a very smart and influential husband. In other words, it turns out that the person himself is happy, he cannot be, because he lacks something. At the same time, in most cases, we, possessing very critical thinking, write all these desires into unrealizable ones. And gradually a person teaches himself that one should not dream of the impossible.
The whole human existence is built on the principle of moving from dangerous to useful. From early childhood we learn to avoid what is dangerous / hot iron, jumping from the fifth floor /, in this we are helped by fear, working as a kind of safety device. And we consider useful what brings us pleasure. Moreover, in some cases the picture is very contradictory. Ice cream is a pleasure, but giving it to a child before dinner is not really healthy.) There are many such contradictions, and we live in this, in life, in my opinion, speaking in mathematical language, there are no constants, but only variables. The human brain remembers things that are dangerous and not enjoyable very well. And, interestingly, a person himself returns to his negative experience and often experiences these situations, in his imagination, many times. With pleasure, everything is different, what pleases us, people, or rather the brain, very quickly translates into the category of norms, habits and "it should be so." Remember, "a person gets used to good things very quickly." The habit of being constantly joyful in life is perceived in society, to put it mildly, ambiguously. Society plus upbringing teach us to be constantly on alert so that we can immediately begin to act in case of danger. It is natural to spend your attention, in such conditions, on the search for things that can please some of the luxury, because there are more important tasks. At the same time, we forget about a very important factor - time. Our physical existence on this planet is limited. In this regard, the process of obtaining pleasure is very short-lived. After the consultation, one of my clients said a wonderful phrase "Life cannot be postponed for a week, like a vacation." Sometimes the same action can be both dangerous and useful depending on the time. As an example: swimming in the river in winter and summer.
Children are very good at getting pleasure from life, they know how to enjoy little things. Over time, we forget how this is done - the influence of society. But there is an opportunity to learn it again. Our brain constantly perceives and analyzes incoming information. This can be used.
Try during the day, or preferably a week, to write down all the small pleasures that you experience. Starting from a sip of coffee, to the victory of the national team and the smell of lilacs at the entrance. Get yourself a notebook and spend time on it, you need to write right away. Why do you need to do it in writing? You will teach your brain to re-pay attention to pleasure, when not only the intellect, but also the motor center is involved, the process goes faster and more efficiently. Remember, examples in mathematics were first solved in a notebook, and only then the skills to solve them appeared in the head. If you are careful and frank with themselves, then at the end of one day you will be able to see how much pleasure you sometimes do not pay attention to and how much joy you really experience. It is important not to dismiss your feelings and sensations. After all, happiness is a lot of pleasure without guilt.
Live with joy!
Anton Chernykh.
Recommended:
10 Tips For Couples To Be Happier During A Pandemic
At the beginning of the quarantine, 74% of the surveyed married couples said that their relationship had not changed, but even improved. In the middle of the quarantine, another study showed that only 18% of the surveyed married couples were satisfied with communication.
5 Steps Parents Can Take To Make Their Kids Happier
Often, parents choose an edifying or authoritarian style of communication with their child. Why? There can be many reasons, here are some of them: 1. This is the simplest style for parents and less energy consuming, as they think. 2. Their parents communicated with their parents in this way, they do not know how to do it differently.
How To Become Happier Every Day? Methodology
I think that many of you have read the magic books of Elfika (Irina Semina) about how to see happiness in everyday life. I want to say that these books work, even if they are just hidden somewhere on the shelf! Recently, I received an order from an online store with a psychological game, new metaphorical cards and book novelties about generic scripts and different ways to work with MAC.
If Nothing Makes You Happier
We often think that someone or something should make us happy. A psychotherapist, wife, husband, lover, mistress, that aunt who bakes rolls in the bakery opposite, that “seller of happiness” who promises a miracle. Well, or some events: I find a relationship - it gets better, I leave for another country - it gets better, I change my business - it gets better, I find a new wife - it gets better, or if the old one changes, it gets better.
