2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We often think that someone or something should make us happy. A psychotherapist, wife, husband, lover, mistress, that aunt who bakes rolls in the bakery opposite, that “seller of happiness” who promises a miracle. Well, or some events: I find a relationship - it gets better, I leave for another country - it gets better, I change my business - it gets better, I find a new wife - it gets better, or if the old one changes, it gets better. But nifiga!
If now there is no happiness or a state of contentment within you, then it will not be under any circumstances. This is an illusion. Because in fact, sorry to be blunt, you just don't know how to experience happiness and experience a state of contentment.
Fearfully?
It's not scary, because there is a way out. And first of all, it is work on yourself. No one will do your inner work for you, for example, to find yourself, your place in life, to establish your personality, to separate from parental figures, and so on.
Yes, a psychotherapist can accompany you along the way and illuminate your path to yourself. But what exactly a psychotherapist cannot do is do your inner work for you. And nobody can. And if someone promises you something like that, believe me, he is lying (maybe without even knowing it). He may genuinely want to help you, but he is doing you a disservice. He gives you "fish" instead of teaching you to "fish". And this "fish" will satisfy your hunger only for a short moment. After - you will feel unhappy again.
The process of finding happiness within oneself is always accompanied by difficult experiences - suffering, despair, pain in some periods, but it always leads to the acquisition of a new "skill" - the ability to live your life.
And believe me, having passed this path, you will be grateful to yourself. Yes, first of all to YOURSELF, because YOU are great, YOU went through resistance, YOU went through torment and despair. And you have dealt with it. Well, yes, secondly, you will be grateful to the person who accompanied you on this journey. But the first gratitude to yourself will be more important for you. Because now you have no idea how much kindness, love and care you can give to yourself!
And yes, there will be no external indicator that you have learned to be happy. Only internal. This is about a different taste for life, this is about a different experience of oneself, this is about a different quality of life, an order of magnitude higher than now.
Therefore, do not expect a miracle, become your own miracle!
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