3 Reasons Preventing Us From Being Happy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I often think that, probably every person wants to be happy. And, probably, happiness for everyone is something different, and we, most likely, imagine it differently. But we all strive for it.

Do we know how to be happy?

It often surprises me that a person with envy talks about what is happening in the life of another, having all this, or even more. And, it seems that he has everything, and looks, and efficiency, and talent, and money, and he envies the one who has nothing, or has much less. And then I can't figure out what's going on. Does he not notice that all this is in his life, cannot appreciate it, or is it not what he really wants?

I answered myself this way: “When a person knows how to enjoy every little thing and the slightest achievement, he looks happy. Probably, the other is not jealous of what is happening in the life of a neighbor, but of his emotional state - the state of happiness. "

Many of us do not know how to appreciate what we have.

And why is this happening?

There is a feeling that I can roughly formulate the reasons for unhappiness:

1. We cannot appreciate our talents and achievements, because we have excessive demands on yourself. A kind of version of perfectionism. If a masterpiece did not work out and the whole world does not applaud, then everything is in vain, and we are mediocre and weird.

   

2. The first reason implies the following - excessive significance of the opinions of others. If you did not praise and did not fall into a stupor with delight, then it is bad, and not why. There is a motivation ambush at this point. If we are guided by the opinions of others, and they do not evaluate our achievements properly, then hands give up and activity leaves (the motivation for activity decreases).

   

3. We do not notice intermediate achievements, blinded by a higher goal, because we want "all or nothing" … We do not see pleasant moments in every day (sun, birdsong, sky, breeze, snow, flowers), because we do not want to waste our time on trifles. When a person has a clear picture in his head of what to strive for and what his happiness should look like, then the path of achievement looks like a treadmill to the goal, and the path itself loses its significance.

   

And the most curious thing is that when we reach the goal, having spent years of joyless existence on it, this also does not bring happiness, because, too "expensive", and often, is no longer relevant. And they lost all the joy on the way.

All other variants of dissatisfaction with life, in my opinion, one way or another, fall into one of the listed reasons

If this is the case, then is there an opportunity to independently change the current situation?

"Nothing is impossible for a person with intelligence."

You can work with yourself independently at each stage, try to learn how to rebuild perception

1. In the first case, when it seems that the work was not done perfectly, you can use an internal or written dialogue with yourself to give significance to the work done. … I spent a lot of effort, time, energy, this in itself is valuable. I didn't get it perfect, but it happens. This part is almost perfect. But this is generally noisy-how, so no one has yet solved this problem. In general, there is rarely anything perfect in life. But I tried, put my heart and soul into it and this is very important.

   

Allow yourself to be just people, not Gods. Everyone has the right to make mistakes. Everyone gradually achieves mastery, it does not fall on one's head just like that. Find any words of support and positive appreciation of your work that are suitable for you.

2. When the opinion of others is very significant, one should keep in mind such arguments that all people have different tastes and preferences, and everyone cannot like the same thing. Everyone has the right to their opinion and assessment, but this does not mean that it is necessarily fair. From the point of view of the theory of motivation, the one does not give up, and the one who does what brings him pleasure in itself will not burn out. That is, the activity itself is enjoyable. Therefore, hobbies and hobbies often begin to bear material benefits, since “there is a buyer for each product”. Initially, focusing on the needs of others - you limit the range of your capabilities and drive creativity into frames.

3. The "all or nothing" option is common for a large number of people. In this case it is necessary to notice everything that happens in life on the way to the goal. Train every day, mark all the pleasant moments in life, perhaps write down in the evening in a diary as a list of achievements. Today I did this and that for my goal, it brought me closer to her. I learned this, or I tried this for the first time. And today, on the way to my goal, I was accompanied by the weather, in which there was a lot of pleasant things, and there was a lot of interesting things outside. And today's trip to a cafe with friends opened up a friend from a new side, etc.

If you want, then our happiness will be in our hands. Our brain is used to working according to a certain stereotype, but constant practice will teach it to work differently, and the quality of life will improve.

I wish you good luck on your journey to happiness