2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If a person forgives enemies and debtors on the basis of a biblical commandment, something good is rarely obtained from this. This is violence against oneself, and there can be nothing good from violence.
Forgiving enemies and debtors is the coolest thing there is. This is probably on par with gratitude. But giving thanks and being grateful are two different things. Forgiving and really forgiving are also different.
How can you tell them apart?
When you thank a person sincerely and from the bottom of your heart, it doesn't even matter what you say at the same time. It is important that the feelings overwhelm you from the inside. Your gratitude is abundant, and it is more important for you to share it than to say "thank you."
When you thank because it is difficult for you to experience warm feelings for a person, another process takes place. It’s like you’re relieving stress by saying “thank you” to the other. It is as if you are trying not to live these feelings, but to get rid of them.
It is the same with forgiveness. You can forgive hundreds of times, but never forgive. You can forgive with analysis, understanding and will, but not experience the feeling of forgiveness that fills from within.
If you try to forgive at the level of will, because there is such a commandment, or because "all diseases are from offenses," most likely you will be lenient. And in this condescension there will be much more passive aggression than direct aggression. People are absurd and wretched in such attempts to forgive.
How can you help yourself to forgive?
The most wonderful thing that can be is when a person grows to a situation where he is able to afford to forgive enemies and debtors. When he lives his feelings and his life in such a way that he allows himself to feel everything that happens to him. When he is able to face the pain of betrayal, resentment, injustice in life, and not escape from this pain, but live it completely. When a person does not live by norms and rules, but lives by himself from within, allowing everything that appears there to be.
Forgiveness is growth. This is the ability to live your own pain and disappointment, and this is to let go, experiencing real relief.
Forgiveness is a luxury. The ability to experience life is also, in a sense, a luxury. Not everyone can afford this luxury for a lifetime. This is grace, despite the pathos of the word. And you need to live a significant chunk of your life and experience quite a lot of pain before you get that opportunity.
There is a lot of forgiveness in human nature. There is a lot to live in a person.
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