2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Egotism is a form of interruption of contact in terms of gestalt therapy. This is the case when you realize a lot about yourself. In view of the new experience and impressions received during the therapy, this can also be called insights. - As I have not thought about it before - you might think. But leaving the therapist's office, you forget about it after 15 minutes or 2 days. These impressions, experiences and insights do not become part of your experience and part of yourself.
How does this happen?
Bright insights, new realizations - and these are really realizations - should become experience, but this does not happen.
Selfishness is a pretty toxic and disgusting thing that can be explained by past experience.
You have a set of beliefs about yourself that you may or may not like. If you have come to psychotherapy, most likely some of these ideas, concepts and opinions about other people do not suit you. But, despite the fact that you have come to therapy and are going to change, you are not going to get rid of these established ideas. Moreover, some of the images have merged so much with you that you sincerely do not understand how to live without all this now. And you may not even think about this fear of losing these images, but when you encounter news in the course of psychotherapy that compete with these images of yourself, it often turns out that the concept wins. News is forgotten, images remain.
Why is that?
Every person strives for the status quo. The most peaceful thing is to live in stability. And every time you meet something new, that stability, even if you don't like it, is threatened.
For example, you experienced a feeling of tenderness and gratitude, but in your ideas about yourself, you are only capable of feelings of anger and superiority. Competition? She is the most!
Or you find out that you are sensitive and vulnerable. It happened in the form of insight, vivid awareness, and you even like this awareness. But you have a concept that you have to be strong and controlling. Competition? Yes!
Or you found your need for recognition, and all your life before that you lived the life of an introvert who is most comfortable sitting on the back of the desk. What to do with this need now if it does not fit in any way with the idea of yourself that you had before?
This is one of the answers to the question of why psychotherapy lasts quite a long time
These very news that you find about yourself are thrown out of awareness. It is through egotism that insights in psychotherapy are not the most important thing. You forget about new experiences. He does not become a part of you and does not change your life.
What to do?
Selfishness cannot be directly influenced. It came from control. When you fight egotism, it only gets worse. If you attack concepts with new experiences, they become even more resilient. But there is a way out.
Do not start explaining processes after the session with the therapist in which you received insights. At least for a while. Don't do anything, don't think about anything, stay alone. The less you explain and control, the more likely the new experience is to assimilate.
The therapist has the opportunity to work with egotism and, indirectly, to control this process. With separate insights, literally. Take the specific feelings that came up and make them the subject of the session. For example, the client felt tenderness and vulnerability in the last session, but after the session he got rid of these feelings. We need to take vulnerability into work - to strengthen this feeling, to analyze this experience anew. The client cannot do this jewelry work without a psychotherapist. And not every therapist copes with this.
Dealing with egotism is one of the most difficult. And if working with projections and introjections can be taught on the fingers, then working with egotism requires the experience, qualifications, perseverance, sensitivity of the therapist.
However, such therapists exist, and egotism, with a professional approach, recedes. Any ideas about yourself, past experiences and traumatic conclusions can be changed. Pogodin Academy alumni confirm this.
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