Postpartum Depression And Communication. Causes, Symptoms And How To Deal With It?

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Video: Postpartum Depression And Communication. Causes, Symptoms And How To Deal With It?

Video: Postpartum Depression And Communication. Causes, Symptoms And How To Deal With It?
Video: Postpartum Depression - Symptoms, Causes & Treatment 2024, March
Postpartum Depression And Communication. Causes, Symptoms And How To Deal With It?
Postpartum Depression And Communication. Causes, Symptoms And How To Deal With It?
Anonim

Postpartum depression and communication. Psychologists are dealing with an unusual trend: despite the fact that over the past twenty years the life of a woman-mother (especially a housewife mother) has become noticeably easier, the number of women complaining of depressive and panic disorders (and taking antidepressants) is steadily growing

Meanwhile, one cannot fail to notice that the world of women is noticeably changing for the better, but postpartum depression still comes! Girls are educated and choose their own jobs, no one is forcing them to marry or have childbirth. A revolution in everyday life has long passed: electric and gas stoves, refrigerators, automatic washing machines, multi-cookers, multi-bakers, grills, toasters, coffee makers, robotic vacuum cleaners, TVs with Internet access, video communication with relatives on a smartphone have become massive and affordable etc. Children go to kindergartens and schools, and women, as a rule, have only one child (less often two), who have the opportunity to periodically order the delivery of ready-made food, longingly describe on social networks how hard and sad it is for them, the poor! Women from the middle of the 20th century would not have understood this (having, on average, three children)! And women from the 18th century, working in the countryside, having housing with stove heating and raising five or ten children, would have generally beaten such "tired housewives" with stones and sticks!

How and why does this happen? Why do we have two completely contradictory trends: women's lives are improving, women are giving birth to fewer children, and women's postpartum depression is increasing? How can this be? I will immediately answer that there are many reasons for this. The rapid growth of social and material needs of women, which is not always as quickly satisfied (since everything depends on money), the lack of skills to overcome difficulties in those girls who had a happy childhood, etc.

But the most significant, in the context of depressive conditions (postpartum depression), is

the following four are somehow related to communication:

1. Increasing the mobility of the population. Simply put: the overwhelming majority of modern women do not live where they spent their childhood, where their relatives and friends are. Because of their studies, work, husbands or living conditions, they move to other areas, cities, regions and even countries. Or they still live in their parents' house, but all their acquaintances from childhood left on their own. And wherever our modern women, in fact, live, they experience a real lack of communication, a lack of moral and physical support. There are no parents, relatives or friends nearby.

2. Increasing the level of labor exploitation and self-exploitation of men. The modern man, who makes his own way in life, is forced to work in excess of the standards. If he works for himself, then in general there is an effect of self-exploitation, when a man either comes home late (plus, the road), or comes already completely without strength and without the desire to communicate with his wife.

3. The growth of social and property stratification creates barriers between people. Considering that they are richer or, conversely, poorer than those around them, many people keep themselves from communicating with those of their neighbors or the parents of those children who attend a kindergarten, school or some kind of children's leisure institution who are not at all averse to meeting and communicating.

4. Many wives become professional housewives. Despite the fact that women have fought for hundreds of years for the right to work in the outside world and leave the role of housewife, in the last thirty years there has been a steady trend of women leaving offices and production and returning back to the kitchen, which women themselves voluntarily support.

As a result, we get that:

Most modern mothers, especially housewives

live in a colossal lack of live communication!

Mom, grandmother, sister, friends - far away, husband at work or very tired, few acquaintances … Here it is, postpartum depression! We can call it “just depression,” the essence does not change! And it doesn't get any easier.

To overcome it, it is first of all important to overcome the prevailing stereotype that depression is a logical consequence of pregnancy and childbirth. No no and one more time no!!! The reason is not in the child, but in the loss of modern urban women (especially mothers and housewives) of communication skills with the world, primarily with other women.

The main cause of postpartum depression is not having a baby, but a woman’s lack of communication!

When the child has not yet grown up to communicate, the husband is always busy or tired, communication in the work collective is over, the parents / relatives are far away or very busy, and the woman herself could not provide herself with communication at the place of residence. Online communication on the Internet, or watching other people's lives on social networks only intensifies women's depression: after all, in the photos processed with Photoshop, everyone is so slim, rich and happy that self-esteem is rapidly falling down (after all, one's own excess weight, is no longer a fashionable wardrobe and the lack of opportunity free travel is very annoying). So some women begin to "treat" themselves with shopping, gaining a reputation from their husbands as "spenders" and quarreling with him. Others are increasing their financial pressure on their husbands, demanding that he earn more, after which communication with him, already not very long, is reduced even more. From here, I say directly:

The development by a woman-mother / housewife of her skills of live communication with other women is becoming a vital necessity in the 21st century.

Since it is easiest for women to communicate with other women, both directly and indirectly - thanks to the children interacting with each other, we can say the following:

The development of child-parent communication skills is part of women's competence, an important self-resource for success in life.

I would especially like to draw your attention to the concept of "parent-child communication skills". The fact is that communication of mothers with other women and communication of children with other children is nothing more than "communicating vessels of socialization":

Children, watching their mothers communicate easily with other mothers, easier to learn those communication skills that will help them in life;

Mothers whose children communicate with other children without conflict, it is easier to make friends from among the mothers of those children with whom their children are friends.

Hence, it is obvious:

Successful creation of a modern woman of her own "social circle"

is not only a protection against depressive conditions, but also increases the level of her psychological comfort, reducing the level of negativity in a woman's communication with her husband and children.

After all, everything is simple: a decrease in the psychological tension of a woman improves her communication with her husband, relieves him of the role of an eternal compensator for the lack of communication with his wife. And this is very important.

From here, I give 4 life hacks, recommendations on how a woman-mother (housewife) can create opportunities for herself for regular and comfortable communication:

1. Try not to lose contacts with your past acquaintances (girlfriends, classmates, colleagues in past jobs), be able to renew them. Regardless of the fact that the areas and cities where people live are changing, these contacts should not be lost. Social networks today work miracles of communication, it is only important to use them correctly. And having found in them those friends who are pleasant for a woman, with whom good relations were previously built, it is important to arrange your time in such a way that it would be enough for organizing live personal meetings.

2. Find yourself girlfriends among the wives of your husband's acquaintances. Many women, having started a family, consciously or unconsciously seek to completely pull out their husband from his usual circle of friends. As a result, the husband is left alone with his wife, gets tired of her, begins to shy away from communication and has a mistress. Therefore, removing from the contacts of the husband those who pull him down, it is important not to go too far and not make him completely lonely. Moreover: those acquaintances of the husband (colleagues at work, classmates, co-founders of a business, etc.) who have a good reputation may well have such wives or girlfriends with whom you can make friends and begin to communicate systematically. This will not only improve the psychological mood of the wife, but also strengthen family relations through positive leisure in the general campaign.

3. Be sure to meet and communicate with the parents of those children with whom your child communicates in kindergarten, school or development / creative children's center. It is known:

The best communication is communication when people have similar motives for communication.

Children, their health, development, interests are the common motive of all mothers. Accordingly, it is on this topic that it is easiest to speak with other parents. “Where do you go for physical / creative development?”; “On which site would you advise to buy high-quality and inexpensive children's things?”, “You don’t know where the nearest creative circles are?” ?.

Having started to systematically communicate with other mothers, if your children are friends, it is quite logical to suggest a joint walk in the nearest parks or a joint trip to the cinema with two families. This creates a great platform for female friendships.

4. Make the geography of walks with the child as wide as possible. Walk with your child all the playgrounds in all the yards of your area. Remember: it is psychologically much easier for children to get to know each other and start communication than for adults. But it is not a fact that it is on the playground of your yard that there may be children with whom your child can make friends. Therefore, it is important for the child to offer alternatives. To do this, it is important to go around with a child (aged from two to ten) your entire area, without hesitation playing in a variety of playgrounds. Your child will definitely find such friends / girlfriends, whose mothers will also suit you for communication. When you see that your child has started playing with someone, support him by kindly starting to communicate with the mother of another child. Ask her how old the child is, where do you go, if there are any secrets of his development, etc. And most importantly, ask how often and at what time this child appears on this playground. And then you need to periodically come to this courtyard, make friends, communicate. Then exchange phone numbers and create a strong female friendship. To which, then, to connect husbands, starting to communicate with families.

In addition, remember: the breadth of the geography of walks with the child will stimulate his mental development, independence and the ability to navigate in space. And you can also meet children from your child's class / group in various places in the area, greet them and communicate.

5. Develop your child's communication skills. It is easier for a child to start communicating with other children when he / she sees the appropriate mother's infusion. Therefore, when going out to play on the school yard or playground, you cannot set the child up so that he avoids everyone and does not share with anyone. I advise you to teach your child to give those inexpensive toys of yours that you specifically purchase so that the child will part with them without regret. The skills of gift exchange between children will further help them, already adults, to build relationships with other adults. Therefore, teach your child to give something to other children, exchange toys without tears, especially have an exchange fund of toys, shovels and sweets with you. Remember:

Your child's sociability and friendliness is an excellent recommendation for communicating not only with himself, but also with his parents. In general, teach your child to communicate - you will not be left without communication yourself! You will easily communicate yourself - your child will always have many friends / girlfriends.

As you can see, the tips are simple!

But their application can help a mother to successfully solve her communication problems! At the same time, it will give her girlfriends, various leisure activities, good mood, high self-esteem, a lot of interesting and useful information from other mothers. And also those excellent social communication skills that will be passed on to her child. In addition, taking into account the practice of work, I will add: many mothers, having begun to systematically communicate with other women, also found themselves interesting work and companions in future business! All this is very valuable!

And, last but not least: when visiting various playgrounds, being next to other mothers while the child is in various circles and sections, the main thing is to put away your mobile phone! Because, unfortunately, a mobile phone in your hands is a signal that you are not disposed to communicate and this will reduce the activity of those mothers who would be ready to speak to you themselves!

Actually, that's all!

Let's Hit Female Communication On Postpartum Depression! Postpartum depression will definitely not overtake you then!

And not only yourself, but everyone around you will start smiling! As the saying goes: Your smile will return to you more than once!

Did you like the article "Postpartum Depression"? If yes, I look forward to your likes and reposts!

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