2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I vaguely remember when I met you for the first time, it seems that we have been together for ages, initially, as soon as I regained consciousness, we were introduced to each other, I remember, I said then, I didn’t say anything then, and it doesn’t matter, because then it wasn’t there was nothing more important than you. Time passed, and I did not even suspect about the existence of Dali, you were there, and I didn’t seem to notice you, so boyishly watching you secretly, dreaming that we would be together, and you looked at all this because of my hugging me shoulder and amused, because you taught me this. I was reckless in my search for a replacement for you, here and there, then one thing, then another, but no one was able to oust you, so passive, so flat, lying down you blur, and all creep at my feet, and I shuffle, I run, I stumble and I see only dust on my useless boots.
We've been together since I remember you. Did I appear the moment I saw you? Perhaps, because I do not know for sure. And this is not even codependency, and not the notorious merger, it is something more, this is when you know that you are the only one being one among many, and I, being the most perfect worthless, turned out to be chosen by you. And it’s so harmonious. You are the very harmony in my head, my unique calmness, you can say that I am your shadow. Madness to think so, madness that it is so. You are always enough, unlike mother's love, you know exactly what I need, and I don’t even say, everything is clear without words, only full immersion in you, and I’m no longer, my head is off my shoulders and away from life, there is never there is no queue and a sad cashier, I am the only one with you this night, and I compete only with the smell of autumn. But no, no, I constantly dream of something else, my interpretations pull you into my dream, no, I want you to be there, but you are not there, I am so blind that I see nothing but dreams without you.
Don't be sad, oh yes, of course, I always forget. After all, you are sadness, and I am saddened. And here everything disappears, there are no more thoughts and feelings, there are no memories chasing the future, there is no sky with clouds, there is no strength of fatigue, there is only you and me, on the outskirts of your sadness. You are a lady in black, and I am on the edge of the train of your dress, and for me this is the earth, spread out at my feet, and the wind from the force of your move blows away the dust that my omnipresent pride has dropped, and the waves of earthquakes on my empty head, and in front, you like a black skyscraper in a hellish icy desert, you are sadness, and I am saddened by you, and you are what happened to me, and I am your real life. We are in sorrow.
Perhaps you made an impression on me even when I don't remember, maybe I walked looking at my feet, I trudged collecting drops of dirt on school trousers, the same color as the dirt, strange, we were so similar, and probably, I saw you looking up, and saw that there are so many fantasies to be seen, so many unreal to live, and you took to help me, by the hand, and escorted me home. Since then we have been together. You and me. And it's hard for me to add anything to this, you are perfection itself, and I just am.
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