2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I've recently become a victim of stereotypes. It is generally accepted that all women love flowers, especially roses, and that all women love to manage, including gardening, creating beauty and bringing comfort. I have to disappoint you.
There is no doubt that I am a woman. But I clean when necessary, cook so as not to starve to death, hate small objects, dust collectors and everything that fits the definition of #tibozemykahyou. More than anything, I love to sit in a quiet place, eat ice cream, read books, listen to LP headphones and tap my articles on the keyboard. Sometimes, depending on my mood, I can stir up something grandiose in the oven, but I strive to make everyday life as simple and convenient as possible. And yes, I don't like flowers - especially roses, especially if they need to be planted. That is, of course, I like the signs of attention, no matter how they are expressed, but gardening is not mine.
And just recently, three wonderful men in my life, without saying a word, decided to show off and make me happy with roses in triple amounts. Apparently, to make up for lost time and, if possible, fill in the gaps for a couple of decades to come. 2 roses on a trunk (who knows, he will understand), 2 rose bushes and, forgive me, 18 small climbing roses. For some, this may be a delight. For me - a lost weekend, because I do not know how and do not like to plant anything, because roses need to be watered, pruned and closed for the winter, which means that all year round I will have to spend time on something that, in general, does not bring me joy. However, I must admit that the men achieved their goal - I will remember them for a long time, I'm afraid only with a not very affectionate word.
Why, in fact, did I write all this? To how important it is not to judge people by conventional cliches. Before giving your boyfriend a soccer ticket, find out if he is interested in it. Before you write to the girl "Honey, I'm going - cook dinner", find out if this will embarrass her. Before showering your passion with flowers, make sure that she is not allergic to them. Before inviting your friends for a barbecue, ask if they eat meat. Not all men are sports fans, not all women know how to cook, and some flowers prefer not to put in a vase, but to eat - sometimes even instead of meat, yes.
I never get tired of talking and writing about the importance of communication. You don't have to assume or take anything for granted. All people are different. If you want to know something about a person - ask! Of course, there are situations when you don't want to ask head-on so as not to spoil the surprise, but doing some initial research is always a good idea. Even more than that, it's a must!
There is nothing "generally accepted" in human relationships. What is normal for you may be absurd for another person. What was tradition in your family can be offensive to another social stratum or cultural heritage. This does not mean that either of you is right or wrong. It only means that everyone has their own background, their own ethical standards and their own moral values. And it also happens that they do not exist at all.
Yes, there are people for whom generally accepted norms and laws do not exist, and they will never play by your rules. Therefore, you can try as much as you like to cram them into an acceptable framework for you, but nothing good will come of it. You should not approach other people's actions and behavior with your own yardstick. It is always better to clarify in advance, or, at least, to look with wide eyes and try to objectively assess what is happening as much as possible.
Roses are just roses. For many women, it is a joy and a symbol of love. And for some it is a pile of dug earth, dirt under the nails and a lot of wasted time. The principle "flowers for babe - ice cream for children" does not always work. Sometimes it's better to do the opposite.
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