2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
They rarely come to therapy with just such a request, but in the process of work it often pops up as an itchy bug that is not so easy to see. This anxiety is due to two things:
1) The need to develop the ability to live, surviving, struggling, coping.
When you have to live in a stress mode and struggle with unfavorable conditions for years, a person gets used to it, adapts. This does not mean that the desire to get out, to change something disappears. This means that after getting out it is not always clear how to live when you DO NOT have to cope all the time. Relaxing and accepting safety is not easy at all. Suddenly it will break out again, but I'm not ready. Developing the ability to live with pleasure is no less difficult than learning to survive. And maybe even more - since it is much easier to cope with specific difficulties that cause anxiety (it is clear where to beat, from what to run away, where to change) than to cope with residual anxiety (because a person is used to living in this mode). After all, it is alarming, but not clear from what. Where to expect a blow. Indeed, over the years, the conviction that this blow will definitely follow, is fixed almost at the bodily level. Sometimes this feeling of vague fear is so intolerable that people find it easier to return to the "war zone" again than to adapt to a new life. Adapt to "all is well." Strange as it sounds.
2) Mankind had a hard time what to say. The expectation of a blow is powerfully anchored in the collective unconscious and is conveyed by all sorts of signs-instructions (for example, about that negligent man who does not cross himself until the thunder breaks out; or do not laugh so hard, otherwise you will have to cry, etc.), concepts (changeable wheel of fortune), works of art, mass media (how many films where heroes are shown especially happy, just to kill them …). Such a load of archetypal pressure of the coming woman … it is difficult to resist, even if your own life proves the opposite.
In general, finding yourself suddenly in a disturbing "happily ever after", you can relieve yourself in stressful life or try to stay and give yourself time to live differently and with pleasure again and again.
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