2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Money and self-esteem..
Many come to therapy with a request: I am very worried about money.
Everyone is "soared" about money in their own way. Someone goes to an unloved job, someone sleeps with an unloved man, someone cannot leave their husband, someone ruins their health in three jobs, etc.
Everyone is "steaming" for the money as best he can. And it seems that there is money, here they are in the hands. And the soul is disgusting.
And it is disgusting because you have to "pay" for this money with something very valuable: someone with self-respect, someone with freedom, someone with health, someone with relationships, someone with their own interests, etc.
And when you put money on one side of the scale, and on the other, what you give in return, it turns out somehow completely unequal.
And at the same time, getting out of the vicious circle: "I need money, I earn, I feel shitty" is often very difficult.
Without the usual level of comfort, no way, but with it, it's nauseous.
Examining different client cases, you can see that many "money and financial well-being" is not just money
(a piece of paper for which you can purchase resources). Money becomes a symbol of self-confidence, security, freedom, etc.
Where a person has a "thin" -there is torn. If there are still mental "holes" of satisfied needs from childhood, then you can try to cover these "holes" with money. Theoretically, it will be possible not to look at them for a while (until there are fewer pieces of paper).
But such "financial support of unmet needs" is a risky business.
For example, if a person is accustomed to associating their own worth with how much they earn, their self-esteem will fluctuate at the thought of financial difficulties.
And if a person is accustomed to associating his safety with how much he earns, then with a lower income, a person will have the feeling that his life is "flying into the abyss."
And then the person "gets hooked" on the needle, where, in the event of a "decrease in income", the person will face his unmet needs: in safety, in respect, in love, etc.
Everyone has their own.
Conclusion: of course, you can try and "fill with money" mental wounds, or you can engage in psychotherapy and stop running from yourself.
Otherwise it turns out that such "commodity-money" relations with oneself and one's needs are, in fact, an "economic bubble".
The more the unmet need is provided with money, the more this unmet need needs to be more secured.
And here it is - a vicious circle of dependence.
So think about it, and from what of your unmet need, you are trying to "buy off" money?
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