2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Incomplete relationships are accompanied by emotional pain, occupy both the mind and feelings, take away energy from the present, from those relationships that exist in our life. Fear of going through parting and the range of negative feelings associated with it often makes you abandon emotions, "live with your head." But, such a life resembles the life of a robot, depriving a person of both sorrows and joys, leaving him in a state of chronic dissatisfaction with his own life. In therapy, it is important to look at the current situation with "open" eyes, understand what is interfering with the current relationship and change it. One way to let go of your past is to be grateful to your ex. Gratitude, which can be expressed both in words and through an image, allows you to accept the value that was in the relationship. Accepted experience easily translates into relationships with other people. The combined use of words and images enhances the effect of what is happening, since both hemispheres of our brain are connected. Practical example. The client's consent to the publication has been received.
The client is a young woman of 27 years old, let's call her Sveta.
- It's been seven years since I broke up with a man with whom I had strong mutual feelings. I have been married for three years now, and he is married. But, I often dream of the former, I think about him a lot. It feels like I left a part of my soul in those relationships. The attitude towards her husband is even, calm, without feelings. I'd like very much to have feelings for her husband. - What does the left part of the soul look like? - This is a red heart, in which all female feelings for a man: love, passion, desire to take care.
I propose to designate with floor anchors yourself, your husband, a former man and the heart left with him.
- How does your heart feel now? - It feels sad, wants me to take it. - You stand with your back to the former and to your heart. What's stopping you from turning? - There is pain between me and my heart. - What does the pain look like? - This is a screaming mask. The mind, seeing her, says: "Do not return your heart, let it be separate from you."
- What does the mind want? - He wants to protect from feelings, because at first feelings are pleasant, and then very painful.
Sveta turned to her ex, tears in her eyes.
- How do you feel about your ex? - Gratitude. - For what are you grateful to him? - In a relationship with him, I gained experience of equal, adult relationships. - What does it look like, what kind of association arises? - White dove. - Can you convey this image to him?
Transmits with words of gratitude. Then he moves to the place of the man. From his role in receiving a pigeon, there is a pleasant warmth and a desire to thank Sveta in return. The young man grew up in his own eyes in a relationship with her. His gratitude is like a tower souvenir.
Sveta gladly accepted this souvenir and decided to put it on the shelf.
- When there are feelings, there may be pain. But, living feelings gives a feeling of being filled with life. Do you agree with this? - Yes, I accept that when there are feelings, there may be pain. I really want to feel. I remembered the line of the song: "Love is never without sadness, but it is more pleasant than sadness without love." I wanted to move the mask forward, in front of me. - Does she still have the same image? - No, now it is a mask with closed eyes, sleeping, now it does not look like pain.
Svetlana turned to her heart to take it and her mind became worried.
- The mind says that I can inadvertently touch the mask, and it will explode. From a dormant state, it will pass into a state of pain. Will start screaming in pain. Scary … - Both the mind and emotions are your important parts. Do you accept that you are their mistress?
Svetlana thought a little.
- Yes, I accept that I am the master of my thoughts and feelings. And when I accept this, I no longer need a mask. She disappears. And the heart returns to my body, where it should be. Now I'm not looking at my ex, but at my husband. I want to love him with all my heart, not my head. I feel a pleasant warmth in my chest when I see the eyes of my beloved husband.
When the relationship is over, it does not bring emotional pain, memories can be accompanied by mild sadness, sometimes calmness or even tenderness.
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