2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There is something that psychologists usually don't talk about.
Maybe they forget, maybe they don't consider it necessary.
Or maybe they deliberately bypass this information.
I will tell.
This will be a story about a relationship that is likely to end if you ever get involved with psychology. As a client, or as a student, as an amateur, or as a specialist, it doesn't matter.
Sounds threatening. But let's start in order.
When I, inspired, young, enveloped in the romance of the future profession, came to my first lesson at the institute, the teacher - an elderly woman with a shrewd look and a hypnotic voice, introduced herself, looked around the students and asked those who have relationships to raise their hands.
While we looked at each other and tried to guess what kind of statistics it was, the teacher, in her enveloping voice, uttered words that surprised me, frightened me, caused awe, inspiration, curiosity and irritation:
- By the end of the training, 90 percent of the students sitting in the classroom will no longer be in this relationship.
There was a silence in the group.
And thoughts swarmed in my head: "Why didn't they tell me in advance?" "Wow, how exciting it is!" "What if I don't want to change anything?" “Yes, I have a perfect relationship! Stop scaring me! " "How did she know that it was time for me to change my life?" "Oh, I guess I'll go out of here.."
It took ten thousand hours of training, two thousand hours of practice and a couple of hundred hours of personal therapy …
And now I can say with confidence that this story, told by the teacher, does not lose its relevance. And it applies not only to students, but also to clients.
If you "connected" with psychology, most likely your current relationship with others will end.
First, it will become important for you to find your therapist. And the more you are in therapy, the less you will want to continue living in the manipulations, transferences and projections that previously held the relationship.
The sooner you will come to understand your real desires, the joy of being able to feel them and the disappointment of realizing how long it has been different.
The more honest you become with yourself, the harder it will be for those who are used to seeing you as another person.
And when you are aware of your needs and want to define your own boundaries, when respect for the boundaries of others comes and the ability to protect what will acquire value, this may not be liked by those who are around.
Therefore, it is more likely that the relationship that was will end.
And instead of them others will begin.
Alive.
In which there is a Life filled with feelings.
A life in which people will miraculously find themselves with whom you can simply be, communicate, build relationships. No manipulation and household blackmail.
A life in which one can be free in dreams, one can desire and receive. Without fear, shame and guilt.
Love you can breathe.
Do not snatch in pieces, fearing that it will never happen again, but simply enjoy, accept, give, increase.
Some clients become happier just because they understand that communicating with their parents can be enjoyable and a resource in life.
And some people notice that there is motherhood without the usual feelings of guilt and fatigue.
It also happens that people discover a long-forgotten talent or work that brings joy. Simple and unconditional, like in childhood.
And then this talent turns into business, into work. And it seems that it cannot be otherwise, that this is the only way it should be.
I do not know how it will be with you. And how quickly you will feel that something is changing: after the first meeting, in a week or in a year.
But I know for sure that after going your way in psychology, you will not be the same.
Therefore, before taking the first step towards a meeting with psychology, think carefully about whether it is worth it.
Eva Egorova®
2020
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